"Two packs, huh?" the salesman said. "That won't last you very long..."
"I said gimme two packs, dammit!" Sharon yelled.
"Okay, okay," he said. "I'll be over soon." She heard a click.
As she waited, Sharon paced back and forth, a nervous wreck. She started to bite her fingernails -- and noticed that somehow the nails had become bright red, pointed, and an inch and a half long. They had also become so tough that her biting didn't affect them.
When the doorbell finally rang, Sharon flew to answer it. The salesman had her two packs, and she forked over the $120, hastily opening a pack as soon as it entered her hands.
"By the way," the salesman added as he turned to leave, "I didn't appreciate your rudeness on the phone with me. As a result, the price will be considerably higher next time."
Sharon ignored him as he walked away. she concentrated only on the pleasure from the Streetwalker 120 in its holder.
When she finished the cigarette, then she began to worry. She knew she couldn't keep buying, especially if the price kept increasing... but she just couldn't stop. To her horror she realized that without even thinking she had already lit another cigarette and placed it in the holder.
She tried many ways of quitting over the next day. She bought a LifeSign device to help her quit, but she couldn't follow its instructions -- she couldn't resist smoking continuously. She tried giving the cigarettes to Jim so he could ration them, but shortly after he denied her the first cigarette she started beating him up. It wasn't long before these packs were also used up.
And then, right on schedule, came the salesman at the door.
"I need more! Give me a carton!" Sharon screamed.
"I thought as much," he said, an evil smile coming over his face. "But the prices have gone up a lot. A pack will be $10,000. A carton will cost you $400,000."
"What, are you crazy?" Sharon shrieked. "I don't have that kind of money!"
"Well then," he said, "you'll have to use our alternative payment system. Payment in kind."
Sharon's jaw dropped. Surely he didn't mean...
"That's right," he said. "You'll have to pay in blow jobs. You'll get one pack each. Suck me first, and then we'll find you other customers."
Sun Sep 17 22:41:42 2000