Total chaos ensued, as you might expect, but not for very long. A few of the characters suffered from BE--not that it made much difference in the case of the Soul Calibur women, especially Ivy and Sophitia--but then Amy stepped forward and said, "Stand behind me, women. I recognise this make of BE gun; I can handle this." She put herself directly in the path of the nearest male character.
Donkey Kong reloaded his low-bit, pixelly, disjointed gun and pointed it at her.
Nothing happened.
Then there was a soft whining noise. It got gradually louder, and louder, and higher, and higher, until--
BOOM!
Donkey Kong's BE gun exploded in his hands, and the guns of all the other video game males in the room sparked and fizzled suddenly. Link and Crash tried a few experimental shots, but nothing at all happened when they pulled the trigger--they had shorted out somehow.
"HA! That's a Model-7A BE Raygun Sexyizer, and it only works on women who are of age! I'm 14! So when you shot me, you overloaded its circuits! HA-HA!" She laughed into their stunned faces. The woman pulled out all their nasty weapons and surrounded the men, easily subduing them, 'cos, thinking with only their...uh....privates...they hadn't thought to bring any other weapons along. They were soon tied up and helpless.
"So..." purred the evil Neifirst from Phantasy Star, slinking forwards in her leather catsuit--her ears giving the "cat" part of that new meaning--"what shall we do with them, ladies?"
"Make them serve our every whim," said Sailor Mars. (Yes, there are Sailor Moon games, but only in Japan. No, I haven't played any.)
"How about a nice NaFoi where the sun don't shine?" snarled the blue-haired woman in robes, glaring hostiley at Mario.
"Now, now, Kyra, don't be hasty," cautioned Zelda. "That spell would toast the entire room! What about something simpler, like maybe a nice arrow through the chest?"
"No, no! Let's interrogate them and find out where THEIR secret base is!" said Janine King. "It's the most intelligent way to start off. If they don't cooperate, THEN we kill them."
The room soon broke up into three groups, each with even numbers--one for kill, one for interrogate, and one for "use for pleasure".
"I see we can't agree," said Ms. Pac-Man regretfully. "So I'll leave it up to our new member to decide for us." She turned to Donna. "What do YOU think we should do? Your vote can break the tie."
Donna thought about this carefully before answering.
Mon Dec 27 23:52:24 1999