Although only 1/12th the size of Cuthbert. Jim wasn't going to go dance to his tune. Cuthbert suggested that at 6-inches tall, they should make their own costumes out of hankerchiefs, as their reducedsize clothing wouldn't look right in his film "Dr. Cyclops." For Jim, this was the last straw. He stretched a rubber band between two paper holders on Cuthbert's desk, then twisted several paper clips into weapons. The first hit Cuthbert in the back of the neck, getting his attention. The second hit him square on his eyeglasses, shattering a lens. Cuthbert took the glasses off to inspect the damage. Jim took this moment to aim Cuthbert's fountain pen at him. Maneuvering the pump lever, Jim sprayed the contents of the pen into Cuthbert's eyes, causing him to stumble. hit his head on the corner of the desk, and collapse. Jim and Sharon then pushed Cuthbert's book of spells of the desk and onto his head, extending his trip to dreamland. "Say, how are we going to get back to Universal Studios...and our original size?" Sharon L'amore asked. Jim's thought was interrupted by noise coming from a pencil box made out of strategically glued matchsticks. Opening it, Jim found Ralph, the man pulled into the beef stew the day before. He was already wearing his hankerchief-made costume, which looking like an oversize diaper on him. "Don't laugh. I'll bet lots of men dress like this in the privacy of their homes," Ralph protested. Jim figured that the easiest way back was to use the mystic portal Cuthbert had created from the soup bowl on his desk to the soup kettle at Universal. All three dived into the bowl, swam in the now chilled Pepper Pot potage, and emerged from the kettle at Universal. And not a moment to soon. Two kitchen workers were dumping the soup into the sink. On seeing three people emerged from their kettle, one worker said, "Aye carumba," while the other admonished him, "Don't have a cow, man." The two kitchen workers married in a few years and had a son who grew up to draw yellow-skinned people. Jim and Sharon called the police and related the story, offering to press changes against Cuthbert. The Universal screipt director took notes of what they said but rejected the story for not being realistic enough. But the police did arrest Cuthbert. "Jim here. I just want to fill you in on how this story came out. They did arrest Cuthbert J. Twipseeze. But did he get time in jail like he deserved? No! A suspended sentence? No! Instead, they tried to make a hero out of him...." Scene: Berlin, January 1943. A slender man with a tiny moustache wearing a military uniform goosesteps into the kitchen at him command headquarters. "And vhat are you zerving me and my generals today?" the moustachioed man asked. "Saurbratten, mit lotz uff gravy," the chefs replied. "Gutt! I can't vait for lunch to be zerved," the mustachioed man said, raising his arms in triumph with his back to the big vat of saurbratten. At that point a large hand emerges from the vat and.... "Jim again here. Listen! You don't live in the 1940s. You live in current times. So I don't have to tell you how that came out. You already know. As for me, I think I'm actually having a dream and...." RIIIING! Jim awoke with a start. Morning again! Time to hit the ground running and face a new day. So Jim decided to try getting a few more winks. At that point...
Sun Jan 30 14:09:17 2000