"Good morning, Miranda!" said a cheerful Bonkers. "All ready for another day of cuffing the bad guys, squashing out crime, wrecking our police car... oops, uh, scratch that last one. Wooo, Miranda, you look terrible!"
Officer Miranda Wright was a young and pretty policewoman who worked the Hollywood beat with her partner, a toon bobcat named Bonkers. But today she had come down with something. "I feel terrible. I hardly slept all night. My body feels so... odd."
"Maybe you better stay home today," Bonkers suggested.
"Wish I could, but we have that inspection today, remember? The chief will bury both of us if I'm not there. Don't worry. I'll be fine." Suddenly, without warning, Miranda's bustline expanded out like two overfilled balloons. A moment later, her chest was normal again.
Bonkers blinked a couple of times. "I'm glad to know you're fine. Is that one of those miracle bras?"
Miranda looked flushed and embarrassed. "I...I don't know what happened."
"Uh, Miranda? Those aren't exactly regulation."
"Bonkers, what are you talking aboAHHH!" Miranda looked down to see her legs were suddenly in fishnet stockings and red high heels. Then, suddenly, she was back in her normal uniform and shoes. "What's going on here? I'm morphing like a toon."
"Like a toon?" Bonkers repeated. "Oh no. It can't be. But it must be. But it can't be. But it must be. But it can't..."
"Bonkers, what is it?" Miranda yelled.
"It must be the Bakshi Flu. It's one of the few toon viruses that can affect humans. They say it first developed over on the rough side of Toon Town, from humans and toons... fooling around."
Miranda looked incredulous. "Humans? And toons? Fooling around? Oh, Bonkers, please. You can't mean what I think you mean."
Bonkers shook his head and made clicking noises with his tongue. "Miranda, Miranda, Miranda. You still have a lot to learn about us toons. It's something self-respecting toons don't discuss much, but it does happen. My old partner Lucky and I worked Toon Vice for a while. It was no laughing matter." Bonkers jumped up on Miranda's shoulder and whispered in her ear. "(And oh the things I could tell you about a certain J. Rabbit and a certain B. Bunny.)"
Miranda pushed Bonkers off. "Enough. That's too much information. But how did I get this virus? I certainly haven't... fooled around with any toons."
"We've got to get you some medical help," said Bonkers. "You don't know all the things that virus can do to a human."
"Maybe I should get looked at. But I can't! The inspection! Oh, I don't know."
Mon May 8 08:51:45 2000