"Ding ding, we have a winner!"
When shopping for ecchi manga, one of the things you want the least is further attention drawn to yourself. For example, being showered with confetti right as you're making your purchase. Bells and whistles going off, staff members in funny cosplay outfits whirling around beside you and not even in an erotic way so you can enjoy it... yeah, the stuff of nightmares. The only way it could be worse is if he'd done this in the nude. Then he'd know for a fact it was all a bad dream.
"W-Winner?" Issei Hyodo squeaked, trying his best to hide the issue of 'Marshmallow Heaven' he'd just purchased without, you know, making it seem like he was trying to shoplift. "What did I win?"
"You're the customer with the most erotic purchases this month! Congratulations!"
Ah. In that case, maybe this was a nightmare. Issei pinched his arm in hopes that he would wake up in his warm bed. No dice.
"Mommy, mommy! Look! That boy is so perverted he's pinching himself in public!"
"Don't look at him, dear."
"H-Hey! Hey! This is my first time at this shop!" Issei protested, throwing caution to the wind. "I only discovered it today! How could I possibly have the most erotic purchases?!"
The staff all shrugged and smiled at him. Great. It was one of those places. Maybe this was part of an incentive to make people stop buying dirty things? In which case they'd have to work harder than this! He'd find other places that didn't humiliate their customers - or at least start wearing disguises! Don't underestimate him, he's not your average pervert. He was the future King of Breasts!
"Here's your gift packet!" one staff member said, pushing a basket into his chest. "Well done for winning, you did good!"
"Enjoy your dirty magazine!" another person in a particularly colourful cosplay outfit added. They held the door open for him, while the last member of staff gently shoved him out the door.
"Please come again, Mister Pervert!" that last staff member said once he was outside - and then the door slammed closed.
"See if I come back," Issei sniffed. Ugh... He might as well see what the damage was. He opened up the box with a great degree of caution, half expected a dozen or two dozen spring loaded rubber snakes to leap out at him, or perhaps a glitter bomb. But no. It was a perfectly ordinary basket. As for what was inside...
"Hand lotion," Issei rolled his eyes. How cliche. There were also condoms in there, not that he was going to read that aloud in public. There was also what looked like panties in there and - Huh? Wait a minute, what was that?
There was a little box right in the corner. It almost looked like a jewellry case. Sure enough, he scooped it out and found... Earrings. Weird. What was so perverted about earrings? Especially a pair as plain as this. They were just so... Normal looking. Nothing remarkable about them at all. Nothing more than an ordinary pair of clip-on earrings. Still, Issei sighed and put it back in. What else did they have here? Hrm? Was that some kind of toy?
It sure looked like one. Had the right sort of packaging and everything. At first Issei was reluctant to remove it from the basket in case it turned out to be a dildo or vibrator or some other sex toy. But no, it didn't seem to be. If anything it looked like a clip-on device.
"Level Upper?" he read aloud. "Increase your skills and attributes by gaining experience in your everyday life... What kind of toy is this? Does it think real life is like a role playing game?"
That seemed to be everything in this 'gift basket'. Issei frowned, then whirled around to go back into the store and give them a piece of his mind - except the store wasn't there. It was just an empty lot, full of construction equipment and - What? He didn't think he'd wandered off like that. Hrm... Maybe he had been walking while focusing on the basket? Oh well. Nothing else for it but to head off home.
No sooner had he said that than he turned a corner and bumped into a girl. This, of course, resulted in him dropping the basket, and to his mortification spilling its contents out onto the street! Ah! Immediately, Issei started to scoop up the condoms and the panties and the hand lotion, stuffing them back into the basket as fast as he could!
"Huh... these earrings..." the girl said. "I think they'd really suit you."
Ding ding. A girl had just complimented him! A cute girl! Issei's hands moved automatically to the box, grabbing hold of it and fastening them onto his ears right away. He'd never take them off. Never ever. A cute girl said they suited him!
Let's cut to what that girl was thinking when she was looking at those earrings for a moment.
"Gosh these earrings are boring and dull. They really suit this loser."
Now, one could call this rather cruel, but given that Issei was for example known to regularly peek on girls who were changing clothes, this was actually far from the worst description he had been given. Case in point as soon as he had the earrings on, he'd set about staring at the girl's chest.
"How do they look?" he asked, showing off his earrings. "Pretty cool, right?" The girl shrugged. "So, are you doing anything later on?"
"No, just heading home," the girl politely said.
"Ah, that sounds quite boring," Issei said to her breasts. Oho! She hadn't slapped him or told him to piss off or anything! "You wouldn't mind too much if, at least, you allowed me a quick touch of those breasts of yours, would you?"
"Eh, why not?"
Ding! Issei could hardly believe it. His hands were on her bosom before he'd even finished the thought. This girl must really like him! She was letting him grope and fondle to his heart's content! Alas, after a brief moment of heaven she began to walk away. Ah, so fleeting a paradise it was. The first girl to ever let him grope her chest!
"Can I have your number?" He asked. "Or your name, at the very least!"
"My name is Mittelt!" the girl called back. "And I don't have a phone number. You can find me at the old church if you need to."
Ah, Mittelt! He'd have to track her down later on. Though, living at a church was a little bit strange - oh never mind that! Issei was in the mood to skip off down the street - ah, but he could hardly forget his basket. Lucky, lucky! It must be the earrings! Well, yes it was. Not for the reason he believed, but it was definitely the earrings that got him his first uncontested boob grope.
Why, he would have to thank the shop owners if he ever saw that place again. He had thought that today was going to be a cursed day, but thanks to them he had gotten to touch a pair of breasts for the first time!
"Ah... the Level Upper toy," Issei said, picking up the box, noting it had split down the back. So much for reselling it. "Hrm... I wonder, is it possible that these items are gifts for perverts to increase their fortunes?"
Heh. Now, he didn't really believe in that. Still... What exactly was this toy meant to be? He pulled open the packaging since it was already knocked loose from being dropped on the ground. Before long he had it in his hands studying it from all angles. Kind of a weird toy if you asked him. It didn't look damaged, but how would he tell?
"State the skill you want to level up," he read off its small screen. "Oh, that's easy! 'Touch girls!'"
It's important to note that he had said that in English rather than Japanese. Not that it mattered for the Level Upper. It simply told him that the command had been accepted, and without a second thought Issei stuffed it into his pocket and continued on his way home. Totally and completely oblivious to the device in his pocket, whose screen had changed to read the following:
Touch Girls, Level 2
EXP to next Level Up, 0/20.
In the near future he was going to be getting a lot of experience in this area, whether he realised it or not.
Sat Mar 31 18:14:28 2018