A single scoop of frosty, vanilla ice-cream was oozing soft on the ground, it’s sparkling white icicles doing a poor job to hide the dirty gravel which now speckled it like sprinkles from Satan.
Dewey sighed, feeling like this melting dessert on the brick-pavement of this carnival was a perfect metaphor of his situation. Not even three licks in, and it had left him feeling stupid, much like the girl he was dating, who had just stood him up tonight. They had made out last date and now he had brought an uncomfortable condom in his pocket for nothing.
He simply didn’t have the will nor strength to actually get up from this bench, egg-beater ride screeching behind, Dewey finding it much more pleasurable to stew in his own misery, at least for the time being.
“Hey, you there,” a man in a top hat barked, his body rotund almost to the point of suspicion. “Yes, you there, boy!” His short rounded finger pointed out, “would ya like a little excitement?”
Kill me now, lord. Dewey thought as he turned his body best he could without his bony ass leaving these rotted boards.
“C’mon ch1ld!” Another exaggerated wave came from this carny in red, his double chins joggling somehow more than the supports for the roller-coasters which barely passed safety regulations. He huffed up two suspenders on his black striped pants, “I believe I have something which’ll make your day!”
Flashing his kindest and most sincerest ‘fuck-off’ smiles, Dewey just waved him away like a buzzing beetle, “uh… no thanks…”
“Ah fuck this,” the carny giving a surprising curse, his voice turning into something more civilian. He took off his towering top hat as he sat his oversized lard ass beside Dewey, a bald head mostly thinned but for the odd tumble weed of a comb-over. “Look, kid,” he stated with open palms, “your girl ditched you, didn’t she?”
Another shrill scrape came from the ride behind them, yet again a loose screw flying off to smack a buzzing street lamp. Dewey tried his best to just keep quiet, but the comment cut him in the gut. “It’s that obvious, huh?” His voice trembled a bit as he gripped his freshly washed jeans at the knees.
“I’ve seen it a dozen times” the carny put a palm on his wobbly chin, staring off a bit, “a nice guy going unappreciated. Isn’t that right?”
“I even got her this corny card…” Dewey patted his pocket, but refused to show the deathly embarrassing store-bought card which said ‘You’re like a sharpie. Super fine.’
“And you’ll learn, kid,” he marked with a slap of his knee. “But the best way to get back on the horse is to forget all about this,” he got his round body up with a grunt, rolling back to his feet, “and I’ve got just cure!”
“Alright.” The teen rolled his eyes, seeing a sales-pitch a mile away thanks to his car-salesman father. “How much?
“How about this, Dewey?” He offered a hand, “you see what I’m offering without paying, and only after will you pay whatever amount you feel it was worth. How ‘bout it?”
Dewey let out an impressed hum, fingers drumming his face for a full minute before standing up with a bounce to shake this fat man’s sweaty palm. “Either you’ve got a great product, or you’re a stupid salesman,” Dewey accepted with a wink, “but I’ll give it a try.” Wiping his palm free of sweat, he looked around, “so what is it? Like a funhouse of mirrors?”
“Oh, much more impressive than that, kid!” His carnival barker voice came back as he pulled an entire cane free of his tall black hat before smacking it hard against the brick path. “A mirror can only reflect reality, but we’re going to smash it!”
Before the flood of questions could spill from Dewey’s mouth though, the cane had seemingly summoned an entire sideshow attraction from the ground, a two storey building soaring out before bouncing back down, quaking like jelly-mold. It honestly looked like an old school theatres, the kind with one screen showing for the month which were the kings of entertainment in small towns across the nation. He wanted to question how a building like this could pop out of the ground, or how a brick building could shake better than titties, but he was distracted once again when the carny went behind the yellow ticket booth.
He waited, tapping his fat fingers against the counter until finally Dewey got a clue and approached. “Oh welcome,” he cleared his throat and smiled. “Welcome to the Fantastic, Immersive, Long-Lasting, Erotic, Recreation centre!”
Dewey put some those letters through a mental calculation, “FILLERC? What kind of stupid acronym is that?”
”Look kid… Acronyms are hard to make. Just call it the FILLER Centre and make my boss happy okay?” He leaned back and cleared his throat to excitedly dictate once again. “For one I assume?”
“Yeah.” Dewey nodded playing along with a reluctant nod. “One guy who still has no idea what the fuck this is.”
”Oh, my single friend, it’s the perfect cure for post-relationship blues!” He snapped his finger and pointed behind him. “You’ve heard of movies, you’ve heard of 3-D, 4-D and maybe even 16-D, but you ain’t never been in an experience like the FILLER Centre!”
“So it’s like one of those stupid pods which rumble with wide-screen tvs?” Honestly those kind of things made Dewey sick to the stomach.
”Nothing so mundane, I assure you!” His hands clapped as he pushed a ticket under the little slit in the window. “You are about to experience an adventure of complete immersion, current VR-headsets have nothing on this magic I assure you!”
“And how is this going to help me move on from thinking about what a loser I am?” Dewey started to tap his feet, ticket flapping from his digits. Was he really not going to get any action tonight and be suckered into wasting more time?
”Dewey. The experience we offer here are some of the most erotic known to man. We’ve got a story for every kink and each one is only limited by your imagination!” He seemed the murmur the next part, “provided your choices are limited to six.” His arms sprung up renewed. “But go now, Dewey! Experience the shoes of different people and all the sexy things they can get up too! You’ll forget yourself the second you step through!”
The young man was tired of this anticipation for a free carnival ride and shrugged, “whatever…” He dragged his old sneakers across the red carpet, feet reaching past the door frame before he stopped short with his slumped shoulders suddenly straightening with a start. “Wait.. I never told you my name was Dewey!”
Of course, when he turned around, he didn’t see the dark carnival grounds, but two closed windowless security doors without handles. He hadn’t even heard them close, but any curiosity of whether they were unlocked was instantly sidetracked by the flashing lights telling him to walk down the bright yellow hallway lined with gaudy carpet.
Every step was hesitant but he was endlessly curious on what could possibly get anybody so excited for a mere sideshow, so he pressed on. The layout was simple, reminding him almost exactly of the movie theatre in his town, a hallway with ugly carpeting, lined with four doors on his left and right with posters or advertisements for the spectacle inside. There was a staircase to get upstairs, but he couldn’t be pulled from these posters. He checked all four of them again and again, trying to make out exactly what he was looking at.
Under door number one, ‘Jim McNutt’s Day Off’, the poster beside it promoted some feature with some teen geek on the cover with pulled down sunglasses. Behind him stood a neurotic redhead, a girlfriend rolling her eyes, and a cheerleader with large breasts with a smug look on her face. Dewey wasn’t sure why he’d want to watch some seeming rip-off film where the main character might be a dateless nerd like him, but he supposed that ‘BE-Raygun’ in the dork’s hands could make things fun.
Under door number two next door, ‘The Mary-Sue of Maryland’, the poster showed a girl smiling with a wink. A holy aura seemed to glow around her, a white silhouette of a multi-arm goddess framed in the background while report cards with straight As, contracts for million dollar projects, 2000 lb dumbells and the such scattered the foreground around this teen. What especially drew his attention was the absolute miserable look on her older brother’s face, a face which reminded Dewey’s own. He wondered why he would enjoy such a show if he knew the lead was going to get everything she wanted, but then again, perhaps that was the point?
Door number three was opposite the first one with just as silly of a title. ‘Hypno-terrorpist’ had a poster of a silver pocket watch with a reflection of an attractive young woman looking back. What really was attractive for a pervert like Dewey though, was the fact that this watch rested on a stupendously large chest, a pair which was round and firm enough to probably crush someone if they crossed her wrongly. He actually wondered if she would hypnotize them with the watch or that massive rack.
The final door on this floor, predictably number four, had the darkest poster. ‘Bootyborne’ had a figure with a rather demonic helmet, reminding Dewey very much of those video games where you fight dark demons. They never allowed the player to make a knight that was all woman with curves like this though. Plus, he didn’t remember any fiction which fought demons armed with dildos and other sexy toys covering her back. He could see this becoming corny very fast, but he also couldn’t deny this being up his alley.
Taking a deep breath, Dewey finally decided on his choice and took as bold a step as possible.
Fri Apr 20 16:54:52 2018
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4 comments Last updated: Sat Jun 16 10:43:01 2018