"We're going to steal that?" Kella gasped as she looked up from the shadows at the pearly pink patrol vessel looming over the spaceport. It was the Climax, the newest, fastest ship on the planet- indeed, the entire system. Kella had seen the tri-vid reports on it's record-breaking trials, and knew it was in at the local spaceprt being readied for duty, but she hadn't expected to ever see it this close...
"Well, yeah," Havelock replied indignantly, "I mean, if we're going to steal a ship, we may as well steal the best. He had a point. Other than bulk freighters and small solar sailing vessels, the Climax was the only vessel on the planet that stood a chance against the approaching war vessel.
"I say, have you noticed that it is somewhat phallic looking?" Bull said as he loomed over the pair as Kella rolled her eyes in disgust. Bull looked like a well-dressed minotaur, and had decended from one of the few bio-soldiers granted freedom after the last great war. Kella had begged Havelock to leave Bull out of this adventure to no avail- and as it turned out, his raw brute strength came in handy at the jammed gate to the spaceport. Unfortunately, the incredibly dim bio-soldier seemed to read sexual connotations into almost everything...
"So how do we get in, smart guy?" Kella asked, "The ship is hooked into the infonet with hyper-firewalls... I mean, I may be good, but I can't hack in from the outside. We have to get in."
"I've got that figured out," Havelock said as they crept around the omnipresent piles of crates and barreles which cluttered the spaceport," We'll get in through the garbage disposal hatch, just like in the tri-vids."
"Looks like someone else has thought of that," Kella pointed out as they peered over to the disposal hatch. At least four manly men armed with impliments of heavy-duty destruction surrounded the circular hatch which was their destination.
"Let me think..." Havelock said, looking over the situation.
"I do think that the distinct domed configuration of the aforementioned garbage disposal hatch, with the bright red light looks like---," Bull began, then saw the dirty look Kella was giving to him, "Well, a breast."
"That's it! Why don't we walk up to the main hatch, knock on the door and say 'Hi, we're here to steal your spaceship'," Kella indignantly said, sitting down to see if she could hack in again, "I'm so SURE they'll let us in."
"Great idea, but there's enough automatic armament around that hatch to disintegrate a chickaphant!" Havelock snapped back, "There has got to be a weak point somewhere..."
"What about that service hatch?" Bull asked.
"Service hatch? What service hatch?" Havelock perked up and looked over to where Bull was pointing. Sure enough, there was a hatch labeled "Service Hatch" which had only one wimpy-looking guard standing next to it, "Of course! The SERVICE HATCH! Glad I thought of it!"
"You did?" Kella said rolling her eyes again.
"Havelock is smart," Bull agreed, as the trio went over to the Service Hatch.
"Oh, um- we're here to steal this ship..." Bull ovvered, as Kella poked him in the ribs.
"WHAT!?" The gaurd sputtered.
"Oh, no, he's just joking- you know how bio-soldiers can be," Havelok nervously grinned, remembering one of the bugs mentioned on the tri-vid program about the ship, "We're the screen repair crew."
"Screen repair crew?" the guard said skepticly, "Well, I heard they had trouble with some of the screens, but..."
"And we're here to fix em! You know, don't tell anyone, but the last crew was well, sloppy- and we're here to fix any they missed..."Havelock said convincingly.
"Otherwise, space mosquitos will get in through the screen doors and bite the crew." Bull unhelpfully added.
"Well, we can't have that- get on board." the gaurd said, allowing the trio to pass, "Wait a minute- what ARE space mosquitos- and for that matter, why would a spaceship need screen doors- there's no air out there...HEY!" Kella had quickly plugged her mini computer into the interior ship's wall, and shut the hatch on the befuddled guard's face.
"We're in luck- as usual," Kella said as she secured the ship, sealing all the hatches, "There's only one person on board right now- the rest are out at a stag party for the Captain."
"Good- let's get to the bridge before they figure out what we're up to," Havelock said as they started up the long corridor.
"I feel like a sperm in here..." Bull added as Kella and Havelock rolled their eyes at his remark. When they reached the bridge...
Thu Apr 5 05:41:03 2001