Vera Bucksome, toilet inspector

Unending BE - episode 148681

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"So..." Jim said, realizing an awkward pause had set in while he stared at the officer's nametag.

"Oh, right, yes. So I'm going to have to ask you to show me to your restroom, please, sir." she replied.

Jim started to do so, then paused and turned. "This isn't going to involve either of us defecating or urinating, possibly into each other's mouths, right?" he asked suspiciously.

"Good lord, I certainly hope not!" she exclaimed.

"Okay," he replied, "just checking. You never know around here."


Two minutes later, they stood on either side of Jim's toilet, the officer with her hands akimbo and Jim with his hands in his pockets, slouching slightly. "Yup," said Jim, "so this is my crapper."

The officer frowned, as if deep in thought. Finally, she replied, trying immensely to sound authoritative: "And how many gallons per flush is this rated for?"

"I don't know." replied Jim.

There was a long pause. "Well," she asked, again authoritatively, "do you, then, happen to know how to find out?"

"No." replied Jim. Then he added: "Wait---", the officer's eyes lit up, then: "---no, no. That's how to sex a monitor lizard. Sorry, no clue."

Silence descended again, as they both continued to stare at the dull white porcelain device, each shifting uncomfortably every so often.

  1. Then, the officer suggestively asked Jim if he knew how to sex any other species.
  2. *Then, the two continued to work out how to inspect Jim's toilet for proper GPF capacity.
  3. Then, the toilet lid burst open, and---!
  4. Then...
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Anathema

Sat Oct 29 22:14:51 2005

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