"Anything?"
"Nothing my commander. Either the earthling haven't noticed us, or they are ignoring us completely."
Commander Xilinia smirked. This invasion by the Mocarians was going swimmingly. She felt insulted she had been tasked by capturing such a backwater world, with a barely space-capable civilization, but at least it'll be wrapped up quick and she'd be able to take a vacation, waiting for the rest of the army to finish their job. "Perfect..."
She read on humans a while ago, everything their spies managed to gather (which was a lot). Poor pathetic earthling. They were almost cute with how arrogant yet weak they were. Smaller, without 4 arms, without protective chitin, and living only short lives, it was no wonder their species wasn't reaching space yet.
"Commander, we are receiving an audio transmission from earth!"
"Excellent, we'll be able to have them surrender! project it on the whole ship, I want everyone to witness their defeat & my glory!"
"Roger!"
There was first a long silence as the signal was connected to the spaceship... Then the last few notes of music of a song, which slowly faded, before a human voice, young, upbeat and cheerful, spoke.
"Yo sisters of the cosmos! It's ya gurl, DJ Cowtits ..." her voice was interrupted by an animal noise, a bovine, if Xilinia remember correctly "...now broadcasting beyond mother earth ..." an older human woman voice was heard, speaking a meaningless noise, something like "ara ara". "bringing our Dairy beats into the milky way!" A stock sound of splashing liquid
Xilinia was confused. This wasn't the reaction that she expected from a soon to be conquered leader. Were human so dumb they didn't realize the gravity of the situation? Or did they have a trick up their sleeve? No, it couldn't be.
the audio was pretty disturbing. something in it made her feel... compelled to keep listening. Was it the sloshing and bouncing sounds that accompanied every words of the host?
"After last month's event, Cowgirl of the world unites," more cow noises, overlaid over one another. "... we decided to go one step further, with this new event : DJ COWTITS : GALACTITS" another cow noise, this time remixed to make it sound otherworldy. "We'll interview various visitors from beyond our world, answering the questions they have for us, and having them answer the question YOU have for them... All while listening to creamy beats so heavy they might collapse into singularity. Now, let's start with invasion commander Xilinia, a spacebabe approaching earth at high speed. Xilinia, you go first, what do you want to know?"
Wed May 14 14:29:35 2025
2 comments Last updated: Thu May 15 03:13:02 2025