Sharon got out and quickly toweled herself dry. "Come with me."
Jim follwed Sharon into her room. "This looks the same as ever," I have to admit.
"I've been hiding things from you. Look."
She pointed at a wall, and it completely swung around. Where her little PC desk once had been, there was now a vast console with many TV screens.
"I chose a relatively anonymous location from which I could remotely monitor the affairs of your world. We are interested in how the total mass of humanity is still growing in space-time, for even if the population explosion is slowing somewhat, there is still the ecological problem of greater longevity and ever higher energy demands."
Jim was impressed. "Okay, so you're richer than you let on and a little devious, but Sharon, you're no, ah ... "
Jim stared as Sharon's breasts grew right before his eyes. In mere seconds, they seemed to float and wobble before him like giant cushiony beach balls.
"This is my true appearance," said Sharon. "My species has adapted over the course of thousands of years to the zero gravity conditions of space travel, and we have allowed our breasts to grow so as to play on the susceptibilities of male mammalian humanoids throughout this galaxy."
"Uh ... yes," said Jim, too momentarily spellbound to really follow her.
"However, the demands of Earth gravity require that I keep my body in a hyperspatially contracted state." Her breasts shrank back to normal. "And now for the ultimate prrod. Take my hand."
Jim obeyed, and instantly everything went black, though he could still feel her hand. Then he was dioriented as for a second or so he felt the floor slip away and he seemed to be drifting in open vacuum. He gasped, only to realize there was no air and no sound. Before his panic could grown, he felt gravity and air and a new floor once more, but one that was hard, uncarpeted. Light returned, and he stood with Sharon, who was again giant-breasted, on platform that stretched to all horizons beneath a night sky filled with stars. All around were graceful scuplted giant machines which could only be starships. Jim looked around, and saw that the occasional passer-by was always some othe lovely large-lunged lady just like Sharon.
"This is a moon station that we have set in orbit of a so-called brown dwarf outside your solar system, complete with artificial gravity and atmosphere. It is the interstellar equivalent of a naval aircraft carrier."
Jim was silent for a long time, even as Sharon returned then to Earth, they got dressed, and he sat down and had a beer.
In spite of himself, the first question he finally formulated was "But why the hell would you want to invade Earth?"
"We don't."
"But you just said -- "
"Our general purpose is to invade, yes. But we are thousands of years old, and very patient, and it is a large galaxy, full of hundreds of worlds ripe for invasion. Two factors stand against our invading Earth. The first is that it's really not worth invading. Only worlds that have developed truly extraordinary technology interest us, and I'm afraid you're still much too primitive. It would be far more fun, and profitable, to invade a world at least a thousand years more advance than you. As for the second factor, your Earth has a serious problem."
Jim nodded sadly; he'd seen The Day the Earth Stood Still enough times. "War."
"Close. Sex."
"Sex?"
"You have many problems, but sex is your biggest. This world still practices male supremacy, which causes far too many executive decisions to be made on the basis of testosterone. Your population growth is slowing but it is still expanding, with no real end in sight short of that cataclysm known in animal populations as dieback. Worse, your microorganisms are beginning to maximally exploit your sexuality. You need only to consider AIDS, especially in Africa. The fact is that, by galactic standards, you are one berserkly horny planet. Most races are far more stoic about sex."
"I'm glad to be human."
Sharon smiled. "And I'm glad to be studying humans. But what proves great for the individual can prove problematic for the larger society. Your planet needs an answer to its rampaging sex problem. Now, we can't make you asexual, because sex is much too essential to your sense of identity. In fact, we want your sex drive intact. But what we can do is provide artificial people, androids, who exist exclusively to serve your sexual needs. In this way, we can offer you sex that is exclusively for recreation as compared to procreation, and try to slow down your population growth."
Jim looked at her skeptically for a long time.
"Excuse me," he said, "but you're invaders. What do you get out of doing all that for us?"
"Your human sex drive would make you perfect a race of breeders for the glory of our State. In a century or two, once we have helped you finally get the affairs of your solar system in order, you will then be free to devote yourselves as much as you please to procreating as many million or billions or even trillions of workers and soldiers as our State requires. An elite among you may be chosen for breeder duty immediately. But in the meantime, it is first necessary to divert your sex drive with androids ... such as this one."
She snapped her fingers and pointed. A nude copy of Sharon, with her native giant breasts, stood directly beside him. The copy raked her long hair with her fingers and cooed lusciously "Hello, Jim!" Then the copy vanished as Sharon snapped her fingers again.
Sharon leaned over the table, resting her chin on her fist. "I could use human insight, and I trust your instincts somewhat, especially when it comes to human sexual mania. So ... what do you think?"
Thu May 29 07:38:51 2003