Dabbler tried to recall everything he could about this particular thread that might prove helpful, wishing he'd paid more attention to the rushes, back in the waking world. If this was a storyline Zorlond felt guilty about, obviously only a happy resolution for everyone involved in it would do. But that sort of resolution, equally plainly, was highly unlikely. None of the variations being played out fit the bill; they always trended badly, often for either the Russells, sometimes for the police, or more commonly for both. At which point the scenario would slow and shatter to the winds, and yet another variation would run.
"Let's see," Dabbler mused. "If I remember things right, this all started with a big family meal at which Jim's dad Ulysses introduced a stranger, who happened to be Elvira with a BE gun, and she promptly BEed and PEed everyone into constantly rutting sex maniacs on the crazy notion she could sell them all as sex slaves. Weird notion. Only she overused the gun on everyone so much that it lost its ability to affect them -- in that way, at least, and Jim was able to turn the tables and bring her into the never-ending orgy as a willing participant. Then there was that shit with Boris Karloff and Rick, who were transgendered and inducted, and then the focus shifted to providing for the inevitable offspring by reconstructing the house, and those detectives broke in and stole the BE gun and tipped off Child Protective Services to distract the Russells so they could play with it in peace, and that brings us to the present point, with the cops intent on arresting all the older folks and saving the kids, and the Russells anxious to preserve their new way of life, but without the weapon that might neutralize the opposition. Hmm, is there any wiggle-room, here?"
Dabbler didn't realize it at first, but even as he spoke he appeared to be affecting the scenario. Variations that hadn't played previously started running as he mentioned this or that aspect of the backstory, ones in which Ulysses, or Elvira, or Borea, or Ricki came to prominance over Jim. Then at the mention of the detectives Bill Alvarez and Dan Miller popped back into the picture, with or without the BE gun, and more complications ran. It was only when Landis began to scream that the barefoot Author looked up and realized what was happening. Great shards and fragments of Story were flying off in all directions, each with its own microvariation of how it might play out, and each, Dabbler realized, more grotesque than the last.
"Stop it, stop it, stop it, I can'ttakeanymore, stop it stopit stopstopstop," Landis gibbered, collapsing to the ground and holding his head. "It's not right, gottamakeitright, gotta...."
"Shit!" cried Dabbler, and as if in response, a huge,elephantine turd dropped out of the sky in one story-shard, splatting messily between the two opposed groups. The barefoot Author looked on aghast, wondering how he could possibly fix this.
Just shutting up helped, actually. As the moments of silence dragged on the shards slowly began to spiral back inward and coalesce with each other until there were fewer and fewer, and finally just one, forming again one coherent world in which Landis and Dabbler were invisibly present.
My words have been suggesting additional permutations, Dabbler realized with a flash of insight. Of course! This is a dream, and hence mutable! But how can I turn this to our advantage?
How about you see to putting me back together before you go breaking things up again? the virtual-Zorlond suggested.
"Oh, right, sorry," Dabbler said, and hesitantly approached the sobbing Landis, putting a hand on his shoulder. "There, there, it'll be all right," he said.
"You're doing this, aren't you?" Landis screamed, turning on him savagely. "You're making it all go bad! Get out of my world, whoever you are! Get out!"
Dabbler fell back, raising his hands to fend off Landis' fury. "Easy, guy," he protested. "It was going bad long before I ever entered the picture. If this is your world, it's your responsibility."
All the fight abruptly left Landis. "Oh God," he groaned. "Oh God, you're right, I did this...." He curled up into a fetal position, moaning.
Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Sat Oct 02 12:05:25 2004
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