[Author's note: I'm going to ignore the 'Mom masturbates in front of Danny' angle. It squicks me, but you can do whatever you want.]
"Hello," said the representative on the phone. "This is Bob, in India-- I mean, New York. I'm in New York! How may customer support help you?"
"I don't know!" yelled Katharine. "I got my son Danny one of your androids and it ate his sister. She tried to open it up and get inside, but she told Danny to use the wrong instruction...."
"Which instruction did you use?" asked Bob.
"Close and compile," replied Katharine. "Later Danny checked the remote's help files and found that he was supposed to use 'close and run input as persona overlay.'"
"That instruction isn't safe," replied Bob. "You're supposed to use 'close and run input as persona overlay'."
"I just told you that!" yelled Katharine.
"Sorry," said Bob. "But there's a script I have to follow. Please bear with me."
Katharine nodded. Of course, she was on a phone, so this was totally useless. "How come it's so easy for an android to do something so dangerous?" she asked.
"All our products are certified safe," replied Bob. Then he added, "the truth is, it's debug code that was left in by mistake."
"Can you fix it? I want my daughter back."
"The best I can do is to reprogram the nanobots. The android is programmed with its own specifications so it can self-repair and change shape. If you use the 'Lost Form Recovery Program' on our website, it'll use the specifications already stored in the android to recreate your daughter's form from the stored mass, and upload the overlay. The new android will be void of personality programming other than the chosen overlay."
"Err, can you explain that? It sounded like you said I can bring back Francine but only as an android."
"That's pretty much it, but I can't explain more... I told you I'm reading off a script. But there are help files on our web site. Oh, and I'll have to give you a security code. It only works once. After all, if everyone could use it any time they wanted, people could use androids to make other androids without paying us anything, and we'd be out of business."
"Thanks."
Katharine asked for the security code, and then hung up. She had little idea what the customer support person was talking about. Finally, she had to ask Danny for help. Danny easily got onto the Internet, downloaded the program onto a USB memory stick, and plugged the stick into the back of the remote. There was a new program on it, labelled 'recovery.exe'. He selected it and ran it, then picked the Francine overlay.
The android began to shift and flow, making Danny and his mother dizzy as they watched. They were about to go do something else when they saw it slow down and stopped. The android, now Heather again, opened up just like before and Francine stepped out.
"Are you okay?" asked Katharine.
"I'm fine, Mom."
"You don't have any sudden desire to have sex with anyone, do you?"
"I'm fine, Mom. I just got inside and blacked out. It didn't give me any kind of weird feelings or anything like that, and besides, Danny's my brother!"
"You have your identity back, Francine, don't you?"
"Mom... what are you talking about? I remember you and Danny, and all that."
"What about your owner and master?"
"Mom! Why in the world would I have an owner--"
At this point, Danny clicked something on the remote, and Francine froze up completely in a standing position.
"She's an android, Mom," explained Danny. "I read all the help files. She just doesn't know that she's an android. And I can still program her. I just have to put her in standby with the remote, or by speaking a special phrase. Lemme show you. Francine, you want some coconut ice cream, and you'll eat it with a fork." Then he clicked something on the remote.
Francine suddenly came to life. She didn't even notice anything wrong. "And Mom, can I have some ice cream? I think we have some coconut left."
"But you don't like coconut ice cream," said Danny.
"I didn't like it before," said Francine, "but I want to try some now." She went into the kitchen to get the ice cream and came back as Danny and his mother watched, with a bowl of ice cream and a fork.
"Francine," said Danny, "that's a fork."
Francine looked at it, puzzlement on her face. "I thought I picked up a spoon," she said.
"You should pay more attention," said Katharine.
Francine began to eat the ice cream with the fork, until Danny clicked the remote again and Francine froze in place. "See, Mom? When I programmed her to do something, she thought it was perfectly natural. I could program more than just actions, I can alter her mind, I can even make some changes to her body, though I might want to program her not to think they're strange."
"I see," said Katharine. "Look, Danny, I got you the android, but I didn't expect to have Francine become one... you know, we have to keep acting as if she's human. We can't just let it be known that she was digested and recreated as an android. Besides, she'd freak out herself. She thinks she's human, she acts like she's human, even if you can program her."
"Sure, Mom," said Danny. He clicked the remote and Francine turned on again, not noticing she had ever been off. "Francine," said Danny, "I'm going to stay with Heather for a while." His mother left the room, then Francine walked towards the door.
Fri Jun 15 16:52:01 2007