Everything used to make sense. Everything seemed like it had a sort of order to it. But now? Where there was once order there was now chaos. His mind and his memories and his planning and the events surrounding all of them were topsy turvy, inside out, back to front and then replaced from head to tail with nonsense, gibberish, and balderdash. How bad was it? That he didn't even find his internal use of the word “balderdash” all that peculiar.
He had encountered a group of rather attractive young women wearing rather revealing clothing, which was the kind of experience that a young, healthy and straight man should definitely let his thoughts dwell upon. However, not so much for the reasons Mamoru was. What he wanted to know was their motivation. How did they fit into everything going on? Were they actually the heroes they appeared to be? Were they nymphomaniacs actively seeking out these erotic situations to satiate their needs? Were they merely an evil group that he had happened to encounter while they were in a situation where rescuing people suited their own ends?
There was no way to know. All he knew was that each of them individually was more powerful than he, making any kind of confrontation tactically disadvantageous. The one thing he needed most of all was a plan. A tactic. A method of discovering more information so that he could make the most informed and accurate move. Discover his role in events, then theirs as well, and then - Well, what came next would depend upon what he happened to discover.
"Whoops!"
Which would be right around the time that he saw a girl trip on the stairs, apparently over nothing, and Mamoru moved immediately to catch her without thinking about it. He stood there for a moment. Holding onto her arms. Bracing her so that she wouldn't fall over. Trying to ignore the way that her rather oversized breasts pressed right into his own chest.
"Are you alright?" he asked, taking a cautious step back. Maybe if he didn't acknowledge those, she wouldn't slap him? That had to be some sort of genetic anomaly. They really shouldn't grow quite that... Impressive. "Please be more careful in future."
"Ah, my drink!" the girl yelled. Mamoru turned to look. Indeed. There was a bottle of some sort stuck in between her breasts. Sort of like they were on display. Now, it must be said that various parts of his brain did argue a little over whether he meant the bottle was on display, or the breasts or perhaps even both, but the point that did matter quite a bit was that this unfortunate mishap made her already rather strained blouse fit rather tightly around her breasts even more than they already did.
"Um..." he said, and that might be the most intelligent thing to say in a situation like this. If he asked to help who knows how she might misconstrue his intentions? This did leave him rather powerless to do much more than watch as the girl reached into her own cleavage and struggled with the very slightly phallic object stuck in there. Oh, boy. It was going to be one of those kinds of conversations, then?
"Got it!" the girl triumphantly yelled after a full ten of the most fascinating seconds of Mamoru's life. "Aha! I got it! Oh no, I spilled it all over my top!"
She really hadn't need to tell anyone that. She really, really hadn't. In a cold second her shirt turned completely transparent and her bare breasts were put on full display for absolutely anyone with a passing interest to behold and commit to memory for later use. The situation couldn't get more accidentally sexualised, or at least Mamoru couldn't imagine a way.
Then the wind blew down, picked up her skirt and gave him a free peek at the bright pink thong she was wearing. The girl didn't even seem to notice. She was too busy trying to wipe the soda off her tits. By which Mamoru meant breasts.
Mamoru winced a little bit, then took off his jacket and draped it across her shoulders. "You can't go home like that," he said. "I don't live too far from here... Hold on. Aren't you that girl that got the thirty on the discarded test score?"
"Huh?" the girl gasped and blinked. "Oh! That's right! You're that jerk that made fun of me. Well, now I see your true colours. Is this how you pick up girls? Wait for them to trip on the stairs, trick them into spilling soda on themselves and invite them home for a little whoopsie?"
"Oh, sure! That makes sense," Mamoru rolled his eyes. "I mean, it happens all the time. Hot girls carrying soda bottles trip down these stairs every day. Makes it so easy for me to get laid."
"You think I'm hot?"
"Well, yeah. I've got working eyes." Then a thought struck Mamoru out of the blue. "Actually, wouldn't it make more sense that this is how you pick up guys? You see one you like the look of, pretend to trip, and then accidentally spill soda on your top? Even an idiot could pick up guys if they had a body like that and knew how to use it..."
"Huh! And here's me thinking I had been rescued by a real gentleman!" the girl huffed. "You haven't even asked me my name or told me yours or anything!"
"Not that it's any of your business, but my name is Mamoru. As for you, I did know your name at one point but a certain pair of things made me forget."
"Oh, yeah," the girl blushed, pulling her jacket tightly around herself to conceal her rather impressive mammaries. "W-What might those be?"
"That terrible test score, and the way you made one of the letters in your name look like a bunny."
"Ooooh! You are impossible! You're acting just like a -"
The girl stopped all of a sudden and looked at him very, very carefully. It was honestly a little disconcerting the way she was doing that. Sort of putting him off a little bit, actually. The fact a that woman with a body this improbably hot could do anything so unappealing was a miracle in itself. But that was a digression. Now he was kind of wondering what an idiotic beauty like this could possibly be thinking about right -
"Eeeek!"
The two of them had reacted to that at about the same time. They both dashed off around the corner, where they could see this big, disgusting, fat, bearded guy holding a knife to the throat of a pretty young schoolgirl with proportions only slightly more believable than the idiot's. Mamoru stuck his arm out, pushing her back so that they didn't give themselves away too quickly.
"Now why'dja have to go scream like that?" the mugger asked. "Now I gotta hurry in case someone sees me. If I gotta hurry, that means I get really sloppy..."
Tsk! How sickening. Look at him! The way he was licking that young girl's cheek like she was some sort of ice cream cone. This was not the kind of behaviour Mamoru could tolerate! Which did leave him with a small problem. As Tuxedo Mask, he could dismantle this guy in a second flat. But transforming in front of Busty McIdiot here... She was the kind of girl that would probably blab a secret like that to anyone that looked like they were only slightly interested. Or she might blackmail him to keep quiet.
In that case he would have to do it as Mamoru Chiba. Which carried different kinds of risks, and meant he would have to do something quickly, cleverly, carefully and -
"Hey, asshole!"
And not by pushing herself past his arm and marching right up to the mugging in progress with a stern expression, a sway in those sexy, sexy hips and no weapons with which to fight this guy off. Damn that idiot, she was going to get herself and that other girl hurt!
Or she could tug open the jacket, say, "See anything you like?"and leave both mugger and victim as drooling idiots at the sight of her spectacular bosom, making the mugger drop the knife and giving Mamoru the chance to run in and punch the everloving fuck out of that guy's face.
Then turn around and also become a drooling idiot because this girl's sex appeal was out of this world. It took him a full three seconds after she closed the jacket for him to snap out of it.
"Are you okay?" the sexy idiot asked the would-be mugging victim. A quick, slightly frightened nod, and Mamoru found himself staring into the deepest eyes he could remember seeing. He couldn't even figure out what colour they were even while looking directly into them. "My name's Usagi, by the way. Is that invitation to your place still open?"
"Once we've helped the police with their enquiries," Mamoru corrected. "I'll sit on this guy while you call them. Okay?"
As soon as she left Mamoru was struck by the most amazing thought. For the first time since this whole thing had started... Ever since that Usagi girl had tripped Mamoru hadn't once thought about his bizarre memories or that strange compulsion. Nor that ridiculous romantic dream where he danced all night with a stunning princess. Those thoughts which had been so prevalent at the forefront of his mind of late had been pushed back, and do you know something?
For a fleeting moment as Usagi had rushed off, he could have almost sworn he had seen Sailor Moon instead.
Mon Dec 07 16:21:37 2015