Ever heard of an orgy of evidence? It was a term coined in the film Minority Report. In essence, it refers to an overabundance of clues pointing towards a particular outcome, usually because someone has decided to frame somebody else and gotten a little bit carried away.
Well, that certainly wasn't the case here. There was certainly an abundance of evidence pointing towards a particular fact: That there had been an extremely heavy bout of intense, sweaty sex in this room recently. Let's list them off.
There was a musky smell in the air. There were clothes strewn recklessly around the floor, some the sort a man would normally wear, the other the sort a woman would normally wear. But the most damning evidence of all was, of course, found on the bed itself: A naked girl with unkempt blonde hair resting her head on the equally naked chest of a handsome, smiling man.
Not that Usagi wasn't smiling as well. She twirled her finger around on his chest. Goodness, these muscles. Around this point she was really starting to come around on the whole hentai trope thing. Given the way that her own body was now, the two of them must look amazing together.
"Just so you know, I'm not the kind of girl that usually goes home with a boy she just met."
His hand was resting on her hip. He - that is to say Mamoru, it would be best to start thinking of him by his name - pulled her in closer and Usagi shuddered at feeling his full naked strength pressed up against her.
"I'm not the kind of boy to take a strange girl home. There's just something about you. It's almost like you cast a spell on me."
Ohoho! It actually made her titter. With tremendous reluctance Usagi rolled out of bed. "I've got something to show you," she said.
Then she realised that she was showing him something almost as good. Her naked pornofied body. She felt as though she ought to admonish him a little for staring, but the feeling drained away, probably because of the tropes playing on her very existence. She'd make an exception for him. Nobody else but him.
Then the tropes pushed a little bit harder. Actually, if he's the only exception then why not make it really worth his time? She stuck her hands on her hips and peered over her shoulder at him, making sure his eyeline was right where she wanted it to be. It was. So she stepped forward and took great care to sway that hip like a pendulum. Yep. He liked that. She stood in place and wiggled her booty for him. Ooh, being lusted after like this made her feel so... Potent. Her destined love was enthralled by her beautiful body. That was an incredible feeling!
For her next step she smoothed her hands up her sides while taking a slow, deliberate step. For the next she squeezed her butt cheeks. By this point she was already at her discarded purse, so she bent down to retrieve a certain item, and then turned around to give him another show on the way back. This time dedicated to her spectacular chest.
Let's see, if she pushed her boobs together like this for the first step, ran her index fingers around her nipples for the second step, then she could use the last step to pretend to yawn while thrusting out her chest and then -
To anyone that knew Usagi the following sentence is the opposite of a surprise. While returning on that three-step journey to bed with her destined lover, Usagi Tsukino tripped over a sock, landed on the bed, rolled across it and wound up in an extremely undignified position upside down on the other side.
"Uh, are you okay?" Mamoru asked, and his voice, filled with concern, sounded like an angels' choir. Or maybe Usagi had knocked herself silly. Sillier.
"I'm fine!" Usagi shot straight back to her feet and coughed into her fist. "Meant to do that. All part of what I wanted to show you."
He wasn't buying it, was he? That polite smile was just to make her feel a bit better about herself. W-Well, never mind that! He'd soon forget all about her being a clumsy dope the instant she showed him this! Actually, hang on. Let's get back into position here. Straddle his waist, look him in the eyes and then -
"Moon Prism, Power Up!"
Ohhh yes, this was so much better. Being her normal self wasn't too bad, but her transformed state was out of this world! Her entire body just felt that little bit better in every single way when she was like this, fitter, stronger, healthier, sexier and loads more stamina. Oh, and her hair was tied up again!
"Uhhh?" Mamoru gaped. Haha! Got you! Didn't see that coming, did you, buster? She smiled down at him and guided his hands along the outside of her costume.
"That's right. I am Sailor Moon!" she proclaimed. "And I am the girl of your dreams, Tuxedo Mask."
"How did you -"
She shushed him before he could say another word. A tender finger to his tender lips. "Long story. The others can tell it better. I'm just so glad we could get this mess sorted out before it became a huge issue."
Well, that was Usagi's reasoning, at the very least. She was ultimately a hopeless romantic. A little bit corrupted by the hentai tropes governing her life, but at her core still a hopeless romantic. Her reasoning was this: If Mamoru was her destined lover, then why beat around the bush when they could beat around the bush? It seemed like the sensible thing to do. Cut right to the happy ending. Get her man. Let him get her. It would make things so much easier for the both of them.
Except... That's not how stories work. Stories abhor shortcuts. If someone in a race uses some kind of shortcut in fiction you can be guaranteed they're going to lose. It's the same reason that a character explaining their plan to the audience before carrying it out will never work: Seeing the plan carried out without a hitch just the way it was described will be boring to the audience. If someone explains a plan then it will, without fail, go awry at some stage. An unexpected element will occur. Things have to be kept interesting, or the audience will stop paying any attention to it.
On that note....
Fri Nov 04 12:21:24 2016