[Opening note: So anyway, I was wondering, When is there going to be a porn tribute to The Hunger Games? A Kelli Wilde is allegedly appearing in something called The Humper Games, but right now the primary porn is The Hung Games, which is gay. My feeling is, God bless them -- and I may be slightly unusual in that sentiment -- let them have their fun, go thy way in peace, all of that. Still, what's taking us heteros so long? As it is written in Trevanian's Shibumi: Who must do the hard things? He who can. I will leave it to you to judge if I can and did. -- Druul]
Cadmus Everhard milled about nervously in the crowd. Looking around, he could see that most of the women, of course, were smiling grandly and smugly, while his fellow men looked far more skeptical and dejected. Life was hard enough living in a caste society, but there was nothing like the damned Games to throw that into even starker relief.
At last she took the stage, some veteran Hooker. Her name, allegedly, was Effme Strumpet, and she looked the part, all shimmery and glitzy with lots of jewelry and one extraordinarily enhanced bosom. Under other circumstances a man would have enjoyed seeing her, but this day, her voice grated.
"Hel-lohhh, Sector Thirteen!" she cheered, and most of the women happily said "Hel-lo!" back. "We all know why we're here -- but now, let us truly savor this sacred tradition!"
A giant screen came to life and plunged into a history lesson slanted as propaganda.
"The past," came the strident female narration. "A time of squander and squalor, of famine and war and tyranny -- the age of Man. But then at last the sisterhood of all women raised its consciousness so high as to cast aside the bonds of Man and to never more submit to him nor ever again permit him any measure of power. The Matriarchy movement claimed the whole world, and yet here, on our continent, retrograde pro-male rebellions broke out in all thirteen sectors. But Woman triumphed yet again, and from that ultimate civil war rose a shining nation: Postman, meaning 'after Man.'"
Cadmus had to snicker inwardly at the name. His amateur archaeology indicated a time when "postman" referred to a latter carrier, and was even the name of a visual entertainment with a male star named Costner. Nonetheless, he resolved to keep a poker face.
"Since that glorious victory, every year the Matriarchy of Postman has seen fit to both exemplify and mock the male chauvinism of old, so as to keep Man now and forever in his proper subservience. It is to this end that we have founded -- the Hooker Games."
As the faux-patriotic music died down, the women cheered and applauded, and the men were obliged to applaud to but somehow were not very lively about it.
"Don't you just love it!" Effme cried out in a girly bimbette squeal, and the women laughed. "And now, this day, we select two males between the ages of 18 and 24 to proudly represent Sector Thirteen!" So saying, she reached into a great bowl.
Cadmus noticed a general shaking of heads among all the men, even the oldest ones, who were simply not keen on seeing two of their own sex get killed as some autocracy's national spectacle.
Effme took out a folded-up slip of paper and unraveled it. "And our first Tribute is -- Peter Mudlark!"
Cadmus was stunned and disheartened. He knew Peter only vaguely but he was a good guy. Once, he had slipped Cadmus the name of a girl who was willing to engage in unsupervised sex. Cadmus had always felt grateful for that.
Yet Cadmus had to worry, for Peter seemed a bit frail, he had "prey" written all over him. He seemed as sure as dead.
"And now, the second tribute!" Effme declared. "He is to be -- Balfour Everhard!"
No, thought Cadmus.
"NO!" screamed Cadmus's brother Balfour. "NO! NO!"
Effme just grinned her big steady grin as the Amazon militiawomen gruffly escorted Balfour up towards the stage.
Balfour twisted and sought out Cadmus's face in the crowd. "No! You promised! You promised I would be safe! You promised!"
Fuckers, Cadmus growled inwardly -- and stepped forward, shouting "I am Cadmus Everhard and I volunteer as Tribute!"
Effme seemed mildly amused. "A volunteer ... !" she murmured. She turned to Balfour and idly waved him away. "So be it. Step forward ... Cadmus Everhard, is it?"
"Yes, it is." Cadmus stood beside Peter and exchanged glances with him essentially saying Yes, I can't believe I'm in this either.
"Sector Thirteen," squealed Effme, "I give you your Tributes for -- the Hooker Games!"
************
"Oh, you'll see it all when you reach the Kapital," Effme gushed to Cadmus and Peter in a beautifully furnished dining suit on board the maglev express. "Crystal and platinum everywhere -- Ah, here he is! Your mentor!"
Cadmus did not feel reassured. The mentor was a handsome but rather shabby middle-aged black man who was openly swigging something no doubt alcoholic from a flask. He sat down across from Cadmus and Peter.
"Howdy do, boys. I'm your mentor. Hamish Adderly."
Cadmus had to wonder a little at how so black a man had so Scottish a first name. Then again, there had been much upheaval over the centuries, plus he guessed that this Adderly character hailed from up north, what had once been known as Canada.
Peter had been looking rather pale and ill at ease, and somehow Hamish Adderly's arrival set him off. "Please excuse me, I'm not feeling so well."
"Yes, it would not do to vomit in this fine room," Effme warned him. "Here, let me show you the facilities."
As Cadmus found himself alone with his mentor, he mused aloud "Hamish Adderly. Sector Thirteen's victor from the 50th Hooker Games. You're honestly going to tell me you're here to help me win?"
"As a matter of fact, yes. And we may as well get friendly. Cadmus, I'm Hamish, pleased to meet you."
Cadmus nodded. "And I you, Hamish. So how do we win?"
"By improving the odds of survival ... and then, we go right on improving them. I've seen your file, Cadmus. You're a swift runner and an excellent puzzle solver ... and if you have any unusual sexual experience," he added, bringing his face and voice low to the table, "now's the time to let me know, before that effing Strumpet gets back in here."
"I know Peter, a little, because he slipped me some information about a certain girl. I ... I had a lot of unsupervised sex with her."
Hamish sat back, clearly impressed. "Was it quickie sex, or did you draw it out? I have to know."
"We seemed to enjoy it better making it last."
"Some of the odds may be in our damn favor after all."
Hamish sat back, then touched something under the wide clear black table. Suddenly a vast intricate image appeared on it.
Cadmus was amazed. "You have a map of the Ladyrinth?"
Hamish shook his head. "This is an old map and would be almost worthless for you to try to memorize. They keep shifting the Ladyrinth all around with each Game. But some things hold constant. Legend has it that long ago some woman named Collins invented the concept of the Ladyrinth, something about the myth of Theseus."
Cadmus attended closely. The Ladyrinth, a mixture of the words "lady" and "labyrinth," was a vast palatial enclosed city built like an elaborate maze. The idea was to make one's way to the exit of the Ladyrinth.
"Running will get you far, but you ultimately can't count on in to save you. All the Hookers in the Ladyrinth have special lassos. They make a big deal of acting like cowgirls of old, they whoop it up and say Yeehaw! and call it 'rustling.'"
"You know ... there's something I've simply never understood," said Cadmus. "The Games are based on killing twenty-five young men through sexual exhaustion. But, I mean ... if you're not into it, if you're not ... you know ... up."
"You've watched the Games?"
"Of course. It looks like the guys get tortured a little, and then they go ahead and have sex anyway."
"It is a kind of torture," Hamish explained, "but it's even more than that ... and in a way, even worse."
Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Tue Apr 10 11:57:24 2012