Cocknosis Geass: It Begins

Unending BE - episode 886557

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It all began with an impossible irritation as Lelouch was returning home. A scant five steps away from entering the building, and with no explanation nor warning nor rhyme nor reason... A book fell upon his head. Lelouch patted the spot where it had landed, looked down at the book to see what it was and then searched above in an attempt to determine where it had come from. A higher window? That seemed the likeliest explanation, at least until he picked up the book and regarded its ridiculous title.

"The Secret of Cocknosis," he read, feeling a little embarassed to be holding such a thing in his hands. What a ridiculous title! Cocknosis? Surely this must be some form of satirical adult novel with a title so ridiculous! In which case, it certainly didn't fall from this bulding. So where had it come from? No matter. Such reading material was beneath him. He approached Sayoko, who was getting a spot of dusting done.

"Here," he said, holding the book out to the maid. "This fell on me as I was entering the building. Please dispose of it."

She looked at his hand with rising confusion, even going so far as to scratch her head. "Forgive me sir, but what do you want me to dispose of?"

"This book," Lelouch said.

"Forgive me again, but what book might that be?"

She couldn't see it. The realisation hit him like a meteorite trailed by a bolt of lightning. She could not see the book. She was looking right at it and she could not see it. Almost like a cloak had been placed around her mind ensuring that she could not see the book.

"I am sorry for wasting your time. Please forget this conversation."

Sayoko was hardly the type to ignore an instruction like that. She would have taken the book, blushed at seeing the title and gotten about getting rid of it. Yet she had behaved exactly like she hadn't seen it at all. Time for an experiment.

He left the grounds and found a random woman passing by in the street. Taking care to hide the name of the book, he tried a little experiment. "Excuse me miss, do you see what I'm holding?" and got the same response. A puzzled look, and a reply indicating that he was not in point of fact holding anything. He tried again with a man - who responded correctly, though he did still give Lelouch a puzzled look. The experiment was repeated a few more times, with the same general results. Women could not perceive the book, while men could.

Interesting. Very interesting.

Given the way he had been holding it, the title of the book had been completely covered. Men could see it. Women could not. Fascinating. Given the course his life had recently taken, Lelouch had developed quite the interest in the supernatural. Knowledge was his weapon of choice, especially if it assisted his plans in some capacity. If a book had the ability to avoid detection from women, then perhaps learning how it was done could make it possible to hide it from anyone but a select few?

First thing's first, he needed to read the book. No doubt the ridiculous title was a cover intended to put anyone that could see it off, while preventing them from discovering that women could not in fact see it at all. A rather brilliant ploy, presumably working off some inherent limitations... Well. Such a limitation told him as much about this supernatural occurence as anything else. But first, he had to say hello to his sister and ensure he would have the reading time later on that would be required to read through this mystery work...

Lelouch lay on his bed looking at the book with growing disdain. His primary theory had all the indications of being correct, and his secondary theory was rather a bit of a bust. The preface alone was quite thoroughly ridiculous.

"Hypnotise people by way of a massive cock!" it claimed. "Gain power over their mind and body by dint of being hung. Not particularly large in that particular area? No problem! The very first technique of the book will help with that as well -"

And on it went, talking about the merits of massive manhood. It all seemed every bit as ridiculous as his first impression of the title led him to believe. This book of all books was protected from female viewing via manner unknown, and as it happened also apparently manifested in the air above his very head as he was walking home? The world made a little, tiny bit less sense than it did yesterday all of a sudden.

With tremendous reluctance he continued to read. "Technique One: Dicking Up. For most men, this is the most essential technique to learn in the book. Without it those men would be thoroughly incapable of even using most of the techniques herein! It is deceptively easy to perform. Stand in front of a mirror, stare into your own eyes and lay hands upon this book. After staring for no less than ten seconds, utter the words written below. They will trigger your growth, and grant greater cock control!"

Not to be redundant or anything but... Ridiculous! Completely and thoroughly ridiculous! But, hey it was a mysterious book with apparently magical properties. Something like this merited investigation. Nobody would ever know what he was about to do, so if it worked - fat chance - it worked. If it didn't, well then there must be some other explanation for why no woman could recognise the book's existance.

He produced a hand mirror, rested it upon his desk and clutched the book to his chest with both hands. He counted off the seconds, going a little bit over just to make absolutely certain. It wouldn't work but that was why he was doing it. To be absolutely sure. When contending with magical forces it is safest to never ever assume.

"Biggus Dickus," he said, fully expecting absolutely nothing to happen. For a moment nothing did, and he chuckled to himself over how stupid this entire situation was.

Then he felt it. Something... stirred. A tremendous and sudden shift in weight sent him sprawling to the floor. It took a moment to recognise what had happened, and the next second Lelouch's trousers were kicked off so he could see firsthand.

Oh. Well. That was not at all what he'd been expecting. Which on reflection was good, certainly a good thing. He certainly wasn't like that earlier. No sir. That was the sort of thing that would get noticed. He could probably strangle a giraffe with that thing while soft, or beat down walls with it when it was hard. That thing between his legs was less a reproductive organ and more like a terrifying weapon. The weird thing was, the more Lelouch stared at his new member the harder and harder it was to pull himself away from it...

But pull away he did as the ramifications occured. "Alterations to mind and body." His geass could affect the mind, but physical alteration as well... He pulled himself up, sought out a new centre of balance and grabbed for the book once again. If that had worked, then the other techniques in here might work as well... On top of everything else, he may now have a way around the single prohibitive use of his geass on any given person. Maybe. Or he could make himself stronger, faster, look like someone else, make someone else look like an entirely different person... But he was getting ahead of that a little bit. For now, he would familiarise himself with the techniques. Learn all the book had to say about them, then find a suitable test subject for experimentation.

After all, it would hardly do for him to acquire a new skill without understanding its inherent limitations. Now would it? How did the saying go? Assumptions make an ass out of you and me. Well. Maybe in this case it would just make him a great big dick.

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Lumitiel

Sat Aug 11 11:00:05 2012

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