(RCM) Quirky Detective: Underdressed and Undercover

Unending BE - episode 960741

“Dance like no one is watching,
love like you’ll never be hurt,
sing like no one is listening,
live like it’s heaven on earth.”
- Unknown

It was a saying that Zoe tried to live her life by, but some things were much, much easier said than done. For instance: trying to sing like no one is listening when in reality, Zoe was standing up on a stage with an audience including judges perched at the edges of their seats just waiting to be impressed. Then factor in that every pair of eyes was riveted to her while she was wearing a skin-tight leotard - a leotard that she would have died of embarrassment before wearing only half an hour ago.

The cherry on top of this nervous breakdown sundae was that the audience and staff of the karaoke bar all seemed to belong to some sort of crazy cat cult, and what it lacked in sense it made up for with frighteningly effective brainwashing techniques. If she wasn’t able to convince the puppets and whoever was pulling their strings that she was already under their spell… well, very soon she wouldn’t have to worry about whether her behavior seemed genuine. She and in all likelihood both of the nice detectives she just met would be the newest additions to their rapidly growing army.

“My name is Zoe Khatoran,” she said into the microphone with what she hoped sounded like a confidence she lacked. “Please, be gentle. This is my firrrrst time,” she smiled, raising her hands and holding them out in front of her like kitten paws.

A wonderful sense of relief washed over her as the guests cheered, even if the way some were ogling her… er, many were ogling her… er, most were ogl- screw it, every single person watching Zoe in the audience seemed to be looking at her body with the same mischievous intent. She half-expected the front row to leap on stage at any moment and rip the leotard right off of her. That rather disconcerting thought was more than enough to smother her new-found relief before it had a chance to take root.

It was fortunate then, that in times of great stress, Zoe Khatoran had discovered the best way to keep herself grounded, calm, and in control: She sang.

A few minutes earlier…

So a detective’s assistant walked into a bar with two cute, sexy-dressed girls draped on his arms. The bartender says, “I think there’s still an open seat you can take him to over there by the restrooms.” The assistant goes there because he doesn’t want to be turned into a mind-controlled cat slave. Ba-dum-tsh.

Kumitada tried not to dwell on how distressingly far away the front door was from their stakeout position. One of the very, very first things that every How-To book he read on investigation stressed was the need for an exit route when performing reconnaissance undercover. (The books were an unfortunate necessity; the less said about Yukiko’s qualities as a teacher, the better.) Fortunately, there were a number of doors nearby that lead to the back; he reasoned that at least one of them had to lead to safety when things inevitably went south.

Already seated at the table were a trio of cat ears-wearing salarymen who at first seemed too busy trying to keep their heads upright to even notice his approach. They did notice Yukiko and Zoe however, and all three turned their unfocused stares towards the costumed newcomers.

“Nyah!” Yukiko purred, stroking her assistant’s chest while guiding him into his seat. “I trrrrrust you are all being taken carrrre of today?” Two of the businessmen nodded eagerly in the direction of the detective, while the third stared so nakedly at her chest that it was clear he had few if any social inhibitions left intact.

The detective’s assistant did his best to imitate the compromised mental state of his tablemates while at the same time surveying the interior. The first part was perhaps a little too easy… Kumitada suspected perhaps some sort of subliminal message was being played over the speakers to make seducing the audience easier, rather than admit to himself that he was enjoying the ‘attention’ that Yukiko and Zoe were lavishing on him to keep from raising suspicions. Although now that he thought about it, it felt like the florist was rubbing against his left arm more slowly than before. He looked up and saw the cause: the dusky girl had gone from blushing furiously to downright pale as she spotted three cat-eared waitresses sauntering towards their table.

“Yeeemeeow!” Zoe quickly adjusted her yelp to a more feline-sounding cry and grabbed her bottom where Yukiko had discretely pinched her. Immediately she began purring and rubbing her head against her seated accomplice in the most cat-like manner she could manage. The rouse was short-lived however, as Zoe was immediately taken down by a flying tackle.

For one long, dark moment Kumitada feared their cover had been blown that quickly, and was nearly out of his chair when the assailant cried “Zoe-chan!” The gleeful little catgirl nuzzled affectionately against the florist’s neck as the other two catgirls arrived. One of them was a girl who was powerfully built and taller than Kumitada himself. With practiced ease she extracted her smaller co-worker from Zoe’s torso with one hand.

“Mio, give the girrrrl a chance to brrrreathe,” she chided the tackler, while the third waitress regarded Yukiko’s group through disinterested, half-lidded eyes.

“Aww, I’m just so happy to see Zoe-chan is one of us now!” she whined, before turning back her victim and rubbing against her chest. “Suzume’s going to be thrilled when she sees you!”

“Um, thanks, I’m happy too?” Zoe replied. She was uncertain how to deal with the unsolicited and unwanted attention. Eventually she managed to gently redirect the energetic girl onto the closest warm body, which happened to be Yukiko.

“A frrrriend of yours?” the bored-looking waitress asked, nodding once at the detective. “Odd, I don’t recall you everrrr mentioning a blonde in the cafe. But whateverrrr….”

Zoe bowed once and opened her mouth to begin introductions, but was cut off as Yukiko stepped forward and took over. “Koiso!” the blonde in question exclaimed, pointing her finger first at the third waitress, and then towards the second “You’re definitely Masami, which must make you Mio-chan! Zoe has told me so much about you!” she said cheerfully while putting one arm around Mio’s head and giving her a noogie with her free hand. The conviction with which she identified the trio was convincing enough to make the waitresses overlook the trivial detail that all three still wore their nametags on their leotard-covered breasts.

The hard rubbing appeared to do the trick as Mio settled down and began purring (in a disturbingly convincing manner). Before the remaining two girls had a chance to see through Yukiko’s white lie, Zoe quickly continued the interruptions. “This is Yukiko; she’s… different.”

“Not so different now!” the blonde babbled without a hint of being offended. Once again her false cat ears wiggled cutely. “Is Suzume here too? I’ve been dying to meet her.”

“Suzume?” Masami asked. “‘Course she’s not here. They took her up awhile ago, like I knew they would. Good thing they still need girls they can count on down here though. Not like there’s any shame in being ground-bound.” She looked away with a haughty sniff, as though that would convince anyone that her statements had not in fact been dripping with jealousy.

Koiso rolled her eyes… then kept rolling them back down to lock onto Zoe’s gaze. “Currrrious… I wonderrrr why they haven’t taken you up yet… Surrrrely they’ve tested you.”

The florist visibly swallowed as she wondered how to answer that, but once again Yukiko came to her rescue. “We, like, juuuust got changed. I mean, Zoe-chan was so hot the way she walked right up to me and opened the box with my costume. Isn’t she to die for?”

“Well, I knew Zoe before you did,” Masami said, still sulking.

Kumitada would have testified that at that moment he saw an actual light bulb click on above Mio’s head. She squirmed her way out of Yukiko’s headlock and grabbed the front of Zoe’s leotard with both hands. “But that means you haven’t sung yet, right? This is perfect! Come on, come on, let’s get you on stage!”

“W-Wait, I don’t think I’m r-ready-” Zoe started to protest, but with Mio dragging her from the front and Masami guiding her from the rear, the poor woman had no real choice at this point. Her heart sank even further as Yukiko elected to cheer her on, rather than save her a third time.

Coming off the stage at that moment was a rather pleased looking cat-eared girl. She had sung “Sweet Caroline” with the voice that was reminiscent of a delicate angel… in a china shop getting obliterated by an irate bull. The crowd applauded politely but seemed rather grateful that fresh meat, er talent was being led up to replace her.

“You’re so lucky,” Mio whispered as she let go of Zoe’s outfit and ran off, tripping as she fell down the stairs.

“Put in a good word for me, will ya?” Masami said cryptically. Zoe nodded her head, which apparently was the correct response as the large girl broke out her largest smile. Masami then walked over to where Mio was whining and holding her head cutely and hauled the clutz to her feet.

‘E-Everything is going according to plan,’ the florist turned spy tried to reassure herself, as the attention of a packed house settled entirely on her.

“Give ‘em hell, Zoe-chan!” Yukiko shouted. Kumitada caught his boss’s eyes and followed them. Her attention was on the third member of the welcoming party, Koiso, who for such a disarmingly laid-back person had rather purposefully made her way towards one of the back doors with her eyes on Zoe the entire time.

For once he could rather easily guess what was on her mind. She could follow Koiso, but not only would she be alone if she got in trouble, but he would be helpless if another waitress came up with a mind-controlling headband. But a lead was a lead, and even if she was only pretending to be a catgirl at the moment, the one feline quality Yukiko Kuwabara never had to fake was an insatiable curiosity.

‘She’s all yours,’ he whispered as quietly as he could, getting a light squeeze on the shoulder in reply.

Time after time you stay away

And I just know that you're telling me lies

Unnecessary words flew across the monitor directly in front of Zoe. It certainly wasn’t the type of song she normally sang, but she did know all the words, and of the options available it seemed the most appropriate.

Black cat
Nine lives
Short days
Long nights
Livin on the edge
Not afraid to die

The crowd was lapping it up, and Zoe felt an odd, electric thrill as she sang. At first she tried her best just to imitate the emotion behind the inherently sensual song, but as the lyrics progressed she felt more and more… comfortable ‘performing’ before the room full of strangers. There was one set of eyes she actively avoided meeting though. Even though she had entered the bar with Kumitada in a manner that practically qualified as molesting him, the thought of baring her soul to him in public with such a dirty song was too embarrassing to even contemplate. Although, if they were alone, maybe…

At that moment, an odd glow caught Zoe’s attention. Without missing a beat (literally) she noticed a strange, pyramid-shaped device on the judges table begin to pulse rhythmically. It was about the size of a paperweight and was serving that purpose. But as she watched the device betrayed its other role and the light it generated grew more intense.

She quickly glanced around the room to see if anyone else had noticed. She saw Kumitada had spotted her distress, but not its cause. She tried to direct his attention with her eyes, but froze as her stare met the piercing gaze of the girl sitting directly behind the pyramid. Her heart froze in her chest and only with every ounce of her willpower did she manage to continue singing.

The judge had slitted eyes.

The revelation was startling enough that Zoe didn’t notice the almost blinding intensity of the light from the pyramid until it began filling her vision, washing the entire room from her sight with a bright blue glare. With the beam directed straight at her, she was unable to see the second beam shoot out of the top of the pyramid through an open skylight into the atmosphere above.

The crowd applauded wildly, even though the song was brought to an abrupt end. Zoe was taken Up.

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Sirocco (siroccoadd.livejournal.com)

Mon Dec 30 04:43:46 2013

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2 comments Last updated: Mon Dec 30 09:13:01 2013