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I really like what you are doing with this. It is very interesting and unusual and the storyline is not only amusing but also feels in character which is not an absolute for stuff found here.
Good work.
By the way, have you already decided which character to use?
I think Ruby could be fun because she is quite a bit different from any of the Girls in the series. Otohime seems similar to Mikuru in some ways (even if she is much more of an airhead.) and Maka has some similarities with Haruhi. Mainly the hotheadedness and the Tsundere acting. Not sure about Winry, never got into FMA.