"Alpha Kilo 6, this is Alpha Kilo 5, Spot Report, OVER"
"6"
"Ground impact by own unknown slow mover, 300 meters north of Tango Papa 3, unable to observe, holding position, Over"
"How do you know it impacted if you can't observe it? Over."
"Sound and GSR confirmation. Its really foggy up here. We got a hill mass in between that's blocking a thermal ID. Over"
"Any idea of what kind of chopper went down? Over"
"Not sure. He was having trouble with his rotors. They were making a sound like "ho, ho, ho" before impact. Over"
"Roger, BREAK, BREAK, Foxtrot Zulu 9 this is Alpha Kilo 6, OVER"
"This is Foxtrot Zulu 9, Over"
"9 you get over to 300 meters north of Tango Papa 3, to that spot report location ASAP, and get me a SITREP on that slow mover. I have the GPS shot down loaded to your station now. We don't have anything up this morning, so you don't take any chances, you copy? Over"
"WILCO. Can I change weapons status? Over"
"Negative rules of engagement still apply. Positive ID only. Air threat is still weapons red. Lock and load, ground engagement only. Ready report before firing, except self-defense. Over"
"WILCO, on may way. Anything else? Over."
"Negative, 6, Out"
Lt. Fisbin changed to intercom on his platoon's hot loop. "Foxtrot, we got a chopper down about 2 clicks to our left. I have it plotted on your screens, check your panels. I want a bounding over watch from this location. I want those thermals on, this fog is a mess. Bound on visual. I'll lead. Report when ready to move."
"Hey, L. T., Can we go to weapons free?" asked Sgt. Millmore
"Negative. I want coaxes hot. Heat in, but on safe, and loaders up in their hatches on their guns."
"Roger, wilco, over and out" said Sgt. Millmore
"Cut the carp Millmore!" yelled SFC Jones
The engines of four M-1a2's came to life. Thermal sights clicked, while commo wire was pulled out of intercoms and thrown out of turrets. Loading doors opened and 120 mm HEAT (High Explosive Anti-Tank) rounds were loaded into the breaches of the main guns. Machinegun charging handles were pulled to the rear as all weapons went to a near ready to fire condition on the iron behemoths now starting a high pitched whine as they bolted forward at 45 mph.
The first bound was about 400 meters. Lt. Fisbin and Sgt Millmore's tanks went to the military crest of the hill to their front. Once in place they signaled SFC Jones who, with Sgt Martin, swung around to the left. They moved forward and halted about 500 meters short of the objective.
"Foxtrot Zulu 9, this is Foxtrot Zulu 3, OVER"
"9"
"I got a bead on that downed slow mover. Might be one survivor. Looks to be staggering around. I got flames in my thermals, but the wreckage is to scattered to ID. I only have a thermal shot. Fog is still way, way to thick. Does not look hostile. I can over watch from here. Over." said SFC Jones
"Roger. Let me go higher and report, then I'll start my move, Over" said Lt. Fisbin
"Roger, Out." Said SFC Jones
"Alpha Tango 6, this is Foxtrot Zulu 9, OVER"
"This is Alpha Tango 6, OVER"
"6 this is 9. I got the impact area covered. Starting my move in. Looks like one survivor possible. I see no hostile activity. Over"
"Roger. Proceed. Alpha Tango 6 Out"
"Zulu 3, this is 9, back this push. Starting my move, Out"
Lt Fisbin's and Sgt Millmore's backed off the military crest of the hill. They swung rapidly to the left of SFC Jones two tank position.
Meanwhile, Jim is still staggering around the wreckage of the sleigh. He picks up what is left of the Santa Cap. In there is a label. It says "Spells-R-Us Costumes. Size 7 ½, made in Bosnia"
"Made in Bosnia???" Jim thinks to himself
The ground begins to shake. "Oh, great, now an earthquake." says Jim
The shaking is then accompanied my a squeaking sound and then a high pitched whine. Suddenly two giant shadows come toward Jim through the fog. Jim turns to run, but its too late. He is now staring down the business ends of two 120 mm Tank Cannon.
"Good Grief, turn those guns else where! He's in a santa suit for Pete's sake!" yells Lt. Fisbin
The tank turrets swing off to the side of the wreckage. Lt. Fisbin checks his 9mm, M-9, pistol just incase there is a real problem. He then has the Sgt Millmore take charge of the section as he takes the Loaders off of each tank to check and secure the site. Lt. Fisbin's gunner, Sgt Staple, moves up into the TC hatch as Lt Fisbin hops off the tank.
"Elliot, you clear left, Frank you clear right." yelled Lt. Fisbin as he approaches Jim.
Elliot and Frank move off to the left of the flaming wreckage, holding their M-16's at the ready.
"WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS!!!!!!" Yells Jim
"Oh, you speak English! Are you ok? You with the USO or something? Are there anymore survivors? There's not much here did your chopper bust up in flight? Are you ok?" asked Lt. Fisbin as he holstered his pistol.
"Where am I?" asked Jim
"Sector 7 blue. Are you ok?" asked Lt. Fisbin
"No, I am not ok. I just got shot down by Santa Claus (Some how that seemed more logical than saying he flew his sleigh into the ground)" said Jim
"Ah, right. Why don't we go sit down by tank. How about some water?" asked a very concerned Lt. Fisbin
"Yea, maybe that's a good idea. Look, sector whatever does mean anything to me. Where in the world am I?" asked Jim
"Bosnia, sector 7 blue. You are in the US IFOR region" said Lt Fisbin
Jim got very grey in the face and then passed out. About that time Elliot started screaming something about the wreckage and there was a burst of M-16 fire. Two giant objects were seen rising from the debris.
Lt. Fisbin pulled Jim by the collar out of the way. Just then the fog parted just far enough for Lt. Fisbin to see plainly one of the objects. Two breasts were growing independent of human form from the wreckage. They were already12 feet tall and growing. Elliot tried to run after emptying his magazine but the boob fell on him. Fisbin could hear Elliot's bones crush as the boob rapidly grew large and heavier. The boobs were now each 20 feet tall and between Fisbin and his tank. He knew he would never make it back to his tank in time and throwing the unconscious Jim over his shoulder he jumped into a near by ditch. The boobs were now 40 feet tall. Fisbin pulled out his pistol and looked at the 50' or more boob (it was so big you couldn't see it all because of the fog) and then put his pistol away. At that same moment Fisbin's tank commenced firing and was joined in by Sgt Millmore's.
"Hey, guys, I am still out here!" screamed Fisbin as he and Jim lay in the ditch
Fisbin's screams could not be heard above the tank fire. The tanks were going to button up when the first, now 100 foot boob, crashed down on Lt. Fisbin's tank. Sgt Staple yelled "Mommy" as he was crushed beneath its weight. Though the suspension system was shot, the armor plate held and Drive Doll survived the boob laying on the tank. But, then Doll started feeling strange. The second Boob was on top of Millmore's tank. Millmore had been quicker and had gotten to a buttoned up status. His tank as well was crushed but the armor plate held. Millmore , his gunner and driver began feeling strange as well.
500 meters away, SFC Jones, saw through his thermals what appeared to be two "boobs?" strike toward Lt. Fisbin's section. Jones said nothing to Sgt Martin and simply opened up with everything he had. Martin didn't need a radio call, he opened fire as well.
About 4 kilometers away, Cpt. Harness heard the report of two tank cannon firing with the rapid staccato of —16's, 7.62 machineguns and .50 Cal machineguns firing.
"ALPHA KILO 6, THIS IS FOXTROT ZULU 3, OVER" Yelled SFC Jones into his microphone
"Zulu 3, this is Kilo 6, status?" answered Cpt. Harness
"We are under......" and SFC Jones transmission went silent.
Does Cpt Harness:
Fri Dec 11 13:27:47 1998