"You goota come out, Brenda," Jim told his genie as he furiously rubbed the lamp. "Now what?" Brenda asked, not wanting to leave the warmth of her Arabian oil lamp. "It's a bottomless pit. It must be. I can't see the bottom," Jim said as the gravel beneath his feet gave way. Falling, Jim redoubled his lamp rubbing, screaming for his genie's help. But 20 minutes later, Jim does reach bottom. Surprisingly, the territory down there looks a lot like rural Kentucky. Jim walks a bit before coming to a road. But the clouds soon obscure what little sun he is getting. Rubbing the lamp again, Jim pleads, "Please, Brenda. I'm traveling down this road feeling hungry and cold." Suddenly, Jim sees a sign that reads "Free Food and Drink For Everyone." Jim decides to take a look inside the building. What he sees makes water come'a from his eyes. They have ham, they have turkey, they have caviar. They got long tall glasses with wine up to h'yar. Jim goes to eat, but a plump ocra-skinned gent throws him out of his chair. The gent tells Jim, "Before you can eat, you got to dance like Fred Astaire. Jim protests, "You know I can't dance, you know I can't dance." Jim rubs the lamp again, complaining to Brenda, "Help me, I've fallen into the middle of an old Leo Sayer song. "I always liked him in the Four Seasons," Brenda responds. "But this is his solo hit from 1974, 'Long Tall Glasses,'" Jim protests. "Then here is a wish on the house," Brenda said. Jim gets up an does a two-step, quick step and a bossa nova, a little Victor Sylvester, and some Rudy Valentino. "Hand me down my tuixedo, next week I'm comingback for more," Jim tells the strange gent. "No need to. Help yourself to whatever you want," the gent said, and he slithered away on his snail-like legs. Jim fills he plate and takes a big bite of food. His eyes open wide. This isn't Earth food, it's...
Sat Feb 19 22:05:35 2000