"Hmmm, why don't I break the traditional mold and instead of being a malevolent maniacal supergenius using completely unworkable plans, I'll be a BENEVOLENT maniacal supergenius using essentially workable plans!" Jim paused then laughed maniacally.
"You're entirely too generous, sir," said Inga as she massaged the tension from her master's shoulders.
"I know. I know." Jim made a dismissing gesture. "Now this program is very limited. It will only affect a single individual at a time, and then only within one hundred miles. Also, it only affects human beings. A TRUE mad scientist accepts no silly limitations such as this."
"Of course, Master Jim!" Inga worked her slender strong fingers a bit lower. "Genius such as yours knows no bounds."
"Hmmm. I've GOT IT!" Jim leaned forward, opened a few windows, and put together a quick self-replicating macro using the Master PC program and his enhanced intelligence. "Crude, perhaps, but BEHOLD!"
"Master," Inga informed Jim, "I am familiar with biology, modern medicine, pharmacology, genetic engineering, and a thousand and one techniques for granting you pleasure. I am not familiar with computer viruses."
"Indeed! That is exactly what this is!" Jim beamed at his fanatically loyal sextoy, revelling in the knowledge that Inga was herself a super-genius who lived to pleasure him. The better to have an audience to celebrate his genius if they actually understood what a genius he was. "I call it... the Marilyn Virus!"
"Indeed, O Master? What does the Marilyn Virus do?" Inga tried to hide her disappointment. Even the nastiest computer virus was hardly a work worthy of a supergenius.
"This is unlike any virus created before!" Jim gestured grandly. "It seeks out spam and traces it back to its source, and once there it goes off like a copy of this very program - transforming everyone within 500ft into an identical copy of Marilyn Monroe!"
Inga's mouth formed an "O" and she regarded the computer virus with a new respect. "Master! You may have eliminated unsolicited bulk e-mail from the Internet! You're... a genius."
"Heh. Wait till you see what I do for an encore!" Jim smiled and cracked his knuckles. "I'll...
Wed May 24 18:53:12 2000