If you’ve stumbled on this article from a random link, or sought it out for its specific subject with no knowledge of my previous writing, allow me to introduce myself.
My name is William Bakegood. That wasn’t always my last name. But, well, I’ll explain that later.
I am nineteen years of age, and I write articles, typically about retro videogames, sci-fi media reviews, character analysis, fairly typical geek-culture material, though I at least try to put more serious journalistic effort into it than your typical clickbait site.
I’ll freelance here and there, but I typically write for this website that you’re on right now, “Nerd And More.” Through my job, I’ve been able to mostly support myself despite my lack of a real university degree, only and online one. This is because of my families inability to support me going to college, not lack of aptitude. It is in fact my skills that allow me to put out content at a frequency and quality high enough to stay afloat and essentially pay my living expenses for my family, as the housing market in this country prevents me from setting out on my own for the time being.
One of the reasons I’m so skilled is the fact that I have photographic memory. This will be a very important detail in the unfolding events.
You might be wondering why the hell I’m revealing so much of my personal life to you. I’ll explain.
These factors, my journalistic aptitude, my living situation, and my unique mental condition all combine to grant me a unique opportunity to investigate, research, and discuss the subject of this article, and my life as of late.
The Mascot Phenomenon.
I call it that for lack of a better word. “Plague” would imply it was a disease, and therefore subject to laws of biological science. “Curse” would imply that those inflicted by it suffer, and for as bizarre as it is, no one who has been changed seems in any way to view it as a negative. So for the time being, Phenomenon will be the term I use.
You of course, know about the changes sweeping the world. People turning into living mascots, hyper-sexualized feminine mascots, and the world seemingly altering itself for these mascots to carry on as if things have always been that way. Furthermore, if you’re reading this article, than you have, like me, more than the typical response of casual acceptance that most people have, another effect of this change.
I’m not like the protagonist at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, screaming into the void about the insidious threat growing across the world. I’m not making some great warning or condemnation.
I’m not certain wether this is the effect of the mental-passivity, or my own… detatched-ness from the world, but this investigation isn’t motivated by fear, but curiosity.
The investigation truly began some months ago, when the first waves of the phenomenon were hitting the country. I had written it off as some kind of perverse internet hoax, and saved the images of these new mascots on my hard drive for later “scrutiny.” I will fully admit to be as hot-blooded as any other teenaged male in that regard.
I was awakened to the reality of the unreal situation when, ironically enough, submitted an article on the ways Cyber-Punk media explore the themes of mass-consumerism and society’s relationship with powerful corperations to the head editor of the site, Karen.
Karen was a women I had a fairly positive working relationship with, and she was a reliable critic of my work.
So it was to my surprise when her feedback was more… glowing than usual, saying things like.
==================
OMGGG! wat a cool article! the readers are gonna luuuuv this! ヾ(*ΦωΦ)ﾉ”
An its so detailed! *puts paws to mouth in surprise* U cover like the whole genre Ur only 19?!?! You always do such good work for the site! U deserve a real nice rewaaard nyehehe~ (=ↀωↀ=)✧”
==================
Karen was a women in her forties who was an impecabble typist and could spot a grammar error from fifty paces. A woman, while passionate about the site’s subject, was very professional and business minded, always concerned with keeping the website profitable.
Now she was talking like a fourteen year old girl instant messaging her bestie, and she also seemed to be flirting with me. And did she say “paws?”
I, while gracious about her positive opinion, expressed my concern about her sudden change in behavior.
She beleived nothing was wrong or out of the ordinary. When I pressed her out of concern that she somehow had been slipped some kind of drug or something, she reacted with amusement, saying I was acting “Super-silly,” and this was how she aught to act as the site’s mascot.
Mascot.
My thoughts returned to that bizarre hoax, and a chill of realization hit me. I quickly asked her to join me in a video call, hoping to prove my paranoid idea false.
“((ΦωΦ)) OOOO U wanna see me? Nyehe~ Sure! I can give u a nice reward now! hold on”
Moments later the video window opened, and my eyes went wide.
This was not the woman I’d worked with for over a year.
What greeted my eyes was something out of a hentai manga. She was a cat-girl, with bright pink hair with blue streaks, ears, tails, and big silly paw-shaped gloves on her hands.
Her skin was inhumanly perfect, and too shiny. Her eyes were cartoonishly huge, and her smile, shaped like the number three, revealed a pair of oversized canines.
She also had gigantic jiggly breasts, who’s exaggerated movement was absolutely not hindered by her t-shirt in any way.
“NYAAAAH! Hiii-ii~ Oh wow, I forgot what a cutie you were!” She said, jiggling wildly.
“K-KAREN?” I asked, freaking out a little, which I understand now to be far different from the norm when encountering the change.
“What? Nyooo, that’s not my nyame!” She said happily, batting her paw at the air cutely. “I’m Kit-Ka! The kewl nerd-culture neko!”
I began to notice the smaller details that her other features had made me pass-over. Her hair was inlaid with a number of little bits of nerd memorobillia. A millenium falcon, a pacman sprite, and a tardis.
Her t-shirt was emblazoned with a very distorted spiderman face, and bangles displaying various geeky properties hung from her slender arms.
She was a living mascot, just like the stories said. Somehow Karen had turned into some pervert’s idea of a representative of the Nerd and More brand. Thinking quickly I opened the website, to be greeted once again by her happy face.
She draped herself across the banner witht he sites name, she blew a kiss at me from the sidebar. She was all over the website, which had been perfectly normal not half-an-hour ago.
I returned my attention to the video call, and Karen, or Kit-Ka as she called herself now.
“What happened to you?”
“I’m the nyew site mascot! Isn’t that grreat! Nya!” She stuck her tongue out proudly.
“B-but how? I talked to you yesterday, and you… you weren’t this!”
She cocked her head. “Nya? Wha’ts so wierd about dis? Aren’t I cute?” She said, winking at me and shaking her chest.
Despite my concern, and even then I noticed I was probably less frightened by this than I rationally should have been, my face grew red at the sight of her blatant flirting. I must reiterate, I’m a 19 year old nerd with a stay-at-home job, I didn’t get out much.
Her smile turned knowing. “Nyehehee~ I knewww you were up to play with me~ Mmm, I told’ja I was gonna reward you.”
She bent forward, letting her volleyball sized breasts hang and show off plenty of shiny anime-flesh cleavage. “Mmmm, you wanna see my boobies?” She purred, before twirling and shaking her ass, clad in very tight shorts, at the screen. “Or my pussy? Nyehe~” Her tail twitched excitedly as she presented herself like a cat in head.
Overwhelmed, I averted my eyes back to the website, only to see the once-still images of her begin to move, and all attempt to get my attention, pressing themselves agains the glass of my screen.
“Nyaaaa! Click me Willy! I can feel it! Click my boobies!”
“Willyyy I’m so hornyyyy, pet the kitty nyaaa”
“We can talk ‘bout Dr Who after!”
In a panic, I slammed the laptop closed, and heard a muffled whine of disappointment coming from it a moment later.
I was utterly confused, and also painfully erect.
It was an hour later after some very awkward personal relief, I had collected myself and tried to think through the situation, replaying a subdued version of the events in my heard and trying to remember everything I could about the Phenomenon I had heard. (I was hesitant to open my computer back up for a while.)
I remembered one important detail that conflicted with what I had experienced.
People didn’t remember the mascots being human, or just didn’t bother about it.
I did.
A sudden zeal instilled itself in me. No one else, to my knowledge, was doing anything about this. I had no expectations of stopping this or curing it, and some part of me didn’t want to.
It was perverse, it was objectively dubious, but the new Kit-Ka definitely seemed far more… happy with life than Karen had been. She’d been struggling a lot lately with having more sponsored content and targeted adds on the site, Once again, perhaps my own idea, or the affect of the mental-passivity.
Either way, I was inspired to learn all I could about this change. The rules, the scale of its effects, what limtis it had, if any.
The next day, I re-openned communications with Kit-ka. After some very un-subtle flirting attempts from her, and a lot of restraint from myself, I managed to ask her about her day leading up to her “getting selected” as the sites new mascot. Her memory was blurry at best, as expected, but she mentioned opening a box of test t-shirts for the site’s merch store page. And then she was “totally hype to help make Nerd and More the most popular geek site ever! Nyah.”
What surprised me was how, aside from her being a horny neko who insisted on giving me a peep-show and kissing the screen at me, our professional relationship stayed mostly the same. She still was anticipating further writing from me, and even said I should expect an increase in my rates.
It seemed in even the short span of time since she changed, the site was already pulling in a lot more traffic. Sex sells indeed.
And so that was the beginning of my invetigation into the Mascot phenomenon. But it wasn’t the most important part. The part that would fundementally change everything in my life. I was going to encounter the change up close, and in an example heavily atypical of the norm, that would allow me to understand the intimate details of Mascot life far better than many others.
My name used to be William Burnwood. But recently I’ve gone by Bakegood.
Why?
Becau-
++++++
The young man paused from writing as a knock came from the door.
“Honey bun? I thought you’d like a little snack while you were working on your big project, mind if I come in?”
William flexed his hands as he gave his fingers a break. “Sure mom.”
The door opened, and his mother came through, pausing a moment as her hips caught the edges of the door frame before mustering the force to squeeze through.
The massively curvy female figure which towered a couple feet over him was clad in naught but a frilly white apron, which did little to cover the massive breasts on her large frame, or do anything to keep the eye from the huge hips and bouncy behind she sported.
Her flesh was soft, smooth and the deep brown of cookie dough, and dotted with chocolate chips. Her hair was a semisolid mass made of swooshes of dark chocolate, and a large cinnamon bun rested coquettishly on her head like a beret. Her face was soft and gentle with maternal warmth, lacked a nose, and her eyes were a pair of black cartoon dots with exaggerated eyelashes.
She happily laid down a plate of freshly baked cookies on her son’s desk and smiled at him. “It’s so good of you to keep at your job so much, but you shouldn’t work yourself so hard honey bun! You’ve been typing away for days! If you’d like to take a break, you know we can support you.”
“It’s fine mom. This is a passion project, and I’m making real progress on putting it all together.”
“Alright.” She said reassuringly. “But if you need anything, lemme know. I’m sure you need to blow off some steam~” She said, winking a touch too flirtatiously for a normal mother/son relationship.
“I’ll… let you know.” He said.
“Okie-dokie sweety! I’ve got to head back to the kitchen, those gingersnaps need my attention! Gotta make sure this new recipe is up to [censored]!”
“Right. ‘Quality first, if your name isn’t-“
“Betty Bakegood The Millsberry Dough Girl!” She said with pride. “And make sure to come down meet the family sometime tonight. It’s been a while since we’ve last all been here together.”
“Sure mom.” He said. Mentally preparing himself.
He didn’t just have his own mom to deal with as a mascot, but…
Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Wed Jul 19 09:20:07 2017
10 comments Last updated: Thu Jul 20 05:13:01 2017