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This is a decent chapter. I do kind of like a character being introspective.
Great job. Expect an episode for 2 or 3 sometime tomorrow :)
Peach still needs some comeuppance, no?
Probably. Or at least in Samus's opinion. But it's only been like two minutes, and there hasn't exactly been a button labeled 'Vengeance' flashed around yet, so she's still waiting for an appropriate opportunity.
There are a lot of moving pieces, and its all made much more complicated by having to essentially rebuild Samus's portrayal from scratch and somehow rationalize it with the ridiculously awful portrayal that The Mirror Man started with.
Renegade Shepard, Jesus Christ...
I was more or less new to proper writing at the time. I not going to say got much better but at very least going through my old stuff while adding tags does make me cringe at times.
Besides I didn’t actually know this would be one of the few Stories I started that would go anywhere, much less serve as a sequel to princess vacation day.. I remember briefly bringing up the idea of rewriting this story during the recent dark times for this site with post bop. It never went anywhere but I knew if did we would to rewrite from scratch for this all to make sense.
The only thing you're really guilty of is awful writing from years ago, and we're all on the execution block if that becomes punishable. That being said, I'm still going to complain about having to untangle this goddamn mess.
Honestly, I did consider just forking the entire thing as far back as I possibly could and rebuilding the foundation for the story... but when I stumbled across all of this, it was already well underway and it just didn't seem like a productive option. If there's already fifty episodes on top of the broken foundation, there's no going back and rebuilding it.
Eh, don't feel bad Mirror Man. There are tons of different interpretations of Samus since she's usually so silent that most characterizations can be justified based on the needs of the story.
Besides, everyone sucks at writing when they first start out. I'm reading that more than ever now that I have to grade so many essays every week -_-
Yeah these days I kind of have softer view of Samus where she is an asocial person who is just basically married to her job. Where she isn’t really against being feminine, it just considered a waste of time and effort for her job (not to mention her ship is kind of too small to hold an extensive wardrobe)
While I would not see Samus hating prime peach or Sammi these days. I would see in smash she’d probably get along better with animals like pikachu or someone like Snake who is also a professional gun for hire, and with Peach it not that she hates her, she’s just probably indifferent unless Peach pushed the idea of becoming friends. Though I would still see Samus a bit angry about losing to Peach.. if only in the way say a professional heavy weight boxer would probably punch the punching bag harder if they somehow lost to an untrained person that would be sized to fall under a featherweight division. Probably be more mad at themselves but might lash out at others.
sammi would be a little different just because it is kind of eerie to see yourself but completely different. Though really at worse I would see Samus just being kind of envious deep down that Sammi could have a life that allowed her to be so seemingly carefree as oppose to having to deal with the shit Samus had to experience in her life.
We’re probably on massive different wave lenths but honestly that part of the fun of collaboration story writing is occasionally discusing how we view characters.
I didn't think his Samus was that bad. Only needed to be toned down a bit. But then I tend to favor a Samus with more of an edge than is often portrayed by writers.
Counterpoint: "Sammi! If it weren't for the fact that I would go to prison, I would kill you right now!"
This line was so terrible I appear to be incapable of forgetting about it.
Like I said, I was younger and stupidier. I probably still stupid but I would hope age and experience made slightly less so lol
I was responding to ThePro.
I'd be pretty mad in her shoes. Besides, I didn't think she meant it literally.
That's almost irrelevant. If anything it makes the problems with the line even worse.
Its incredibly clunky, and very awkward to yell angrily with any sort of seriousness, but more than that its also just plain stupid, not just sounding but in effect. Samus is disarmed and angrily threatening the life of a princess within her imperial palace, and not serious about it either?
Really, the only way I can describe that would be childish, its the sort of thing I would expect a six year old to say. Which is really the reason why that line stuck out to me so much.