The Button Labeled 'Do Not Press' 1/2 - Yet Another Stupid Dungeon

Unending BE - episode 1304436

Tags: fan Edit Tags

Ryoga Hibiki was in a tight spot. He had a difficult time at best with dealing girls. Akari simply hugging him made his heart pound and his body stiffen. Girls in swimsuits often got him to blush.

They were a bit beyond swimsuits. Why Akane was wearing that… that> outfit baffled him. Mostly because he couldn’t allow himself to think about it for too long. So instead he focused on the easy to deal with part.

Some perverted wizard needed to be beaten up to get Ranma back to normal, and Ryoga wanted Ranma back to normal as fast as possible. So he was walking behind Ukyo, because she was the safest one to walk behind, while they headed to the Kuno household. Since apparently that’s where he was.

“So, ah, Akane, y-you were changed by him too?” Ryoga finally got the urge to ask.

Akane shook her head, “No. Long story short I was in that other world for five years from my point of view.” She decided not to bring up what magic did to women, Ryoga probably would not be able to handle it.

“Wh-what!? You were alone for that long!?”

“Well, not alone, I made friends.” Akane said.

"Wah! Akane, you shouldn't have had to be alone for that long! It's too unfair!" Ryoga was too caught up in the mental image of a shivering Akane, alone in a dark forest with evilly grinning shadows surrounding her. “Ranma! How could you let Akane get sucked into some awful parallel reality!”

“Hey the button that sent her there was at Ucchans! I didn’t have anything to do it!” Ranma snapped back.

“It was labeled don’t press! Not my fault her friends pressed it.” Ukyo said quickly. “I didn’t even know it did anything.”

“Why is there a button that sends people to a magical world there in the first place?” Ranma asked.

Ryoga snorted, “I bet it was part of some plan to get you which poor Akane got caught up in.”

Akane sighed, “No I don’t think Ranma had anything to do with it.” She said, “Anyways, we need to hurry up and get to Kuno’s place… before…”

They had reached the place where the Kuno household was supposed to be. But the house had been replaced with what appeared to be a massive parody of a Japanese castle. With gaudy gold trim on the walls, and on the top of the building was a flashing billboard. On the billboard was an animated picture of Akane swinging her staff at the viewer.

“Oh god I thought I burned all his magic pictures.” Akane said.

“What the fresh hell is this!?” Ukyo said.

“It looks like Satrius made himself comfortable.” Akane sighed, “Great. He made himself another Stupid Dungeon.”

“Dungeon?” Ryoga said,

“Yeah. Trap filled building, usually some kind of monsters to fight off intruders. If I know Satrius, and tragically I do, he’s made himself a bunch of golems and some lesser summons.”

”Hark, fair Akane Tendo! You have come to visit yet another of my palaces! I knew you could not resist its allure.” A voice boomed out from a speakerphone that came out of a sliding panel in the side of the dungeon.

Akane pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a weary, weary sigh.

Tee hee, you'll never guess what I have in store for you this time! Go ahead, try and guess!

"Golems, succubi, and golems made out of thongs," Akane immediately answered.

"... No! You're wrong! I wouldn't do something so depraved. Again."

"Thong... Golems...?" Ukyo asked.

"It's not like what you think," Akane said. "It's miles worse. You'll never wear a pair again."

Ukyo’s eyes drifted, unwillingly, to Ranma and Akane’s rear ends. If what they were wearing weren’t called thongs then Ukyo didn’t want to know what Akane now considered one. Her eyes then lingered for far too longer than was reasonable.

"Akane, I think I prefer fighting Kuno."

"Oh, sweetie. I know you'll prefer fighting Kuno." Akane walked over to the front gate. “Really? A seal?” She muttered, holding up the staff, “Did you not catch that Oathkeeper can break any seal?” the staff glowed, and the door into the… dungeon? Opened up.

”Oh of course my dear, but just how you ended up helping unseal Lord of the Depth’s power by accident, it is lovely to let you use that staff to advance my own designs. In this case, showing you how you’re the only one for me.” His smug voice came from the speaker.

"Akane? I now know that I prefer fighting Kuno," Ranma said. "At least he's near enough that when you can hear his nonsense you can shut him up."

“There’s a reason. The list is longer than you think." Akane said, “Man I wish Draleal had thrown him harder. Maybe then the fall would have killed him.”

Up on the top floor of his new palace, Satirus was getting ready for Akane to reach him. He had set up a pair of thrones, as well as Tatewaki Kuno, still trapped in crystal.

“Question, my man, do you think making an ether-automation powered by you would be sufficiently ironic to show how weak you are compared to me?” He said.

“Akane Tendo’s love for me would never be sullied by whatever dark tricks you may pull!” Kuno said.

“Right. I suppose I should just show her my own power. You can be a spectator to seeing her finally become my Queen.” He chuckled, “Especially since her other party members aren’t here! No more stabbings, no catgirls scratching me, and that stupid elf priestess will stop asking her goddess to curse me!” he began to laugh maniacally.

“Right then. Normally I went into these things with a team of six, but you guys will have to do.” Akane said.

“Have to do?” Ranma said incredulously.

“Well how many monster infested buildings full of traps have any of you gone through?” Akane asked.

“Three.” Ryoga said.

Akane, Ranma, and Ukyo all stared at him. “That.. that was rhetorical Ryoga.” Akane said.

“But I have.” Ryoga said, “Like there was that one with the giant boulder that I guess was supposed to crush me but I just used the breaking point.”

“God that’s such a cliche. We made a drinking game out of it.” Akane said. “Every other dungeon maker thinks the giant boulder trap is sooo good and original.” She pushed open the door, “Ryoga, take point.” He was the toughest person here, so he’d hopefully work as a tank.

The entryway had changed, rather then be a normal Japanese style entrance it was a wide hall. Standing in the center were two of what looked like statues of Akane, one holding a stone claymore and the other a stone spear. A giant door in the back of the room was covered by a shiny gate.

“Golems.” Akane said, “They’re his main trademark.”

“Does he always make them look like you?” Ukyo asked.

Akane sighed. “Yes. He does.” The group stepped closer, and the entrance slammed shut behind them. “Go Ryoga!” She shouted.

Ryoga nodded grimly. This pervert made statues that looked like Akane naked! He forced himself to walk forward.

The moment he got within range, there were three puff of smoke and a set of giggles in the air. Three identical skimpily dressed women with horns and tails appeared in the air. At the same time the statues moved, pointing their weapons directly at Ryoga.

“OK, while Ryoga holds their attention you and Ukyo sneak up and…” Akane trailed off.

Ryoga’s nose was bleeding, the succubi were giggling and running their fingers across his arm. One pressed her chest against his back. Meanwhile the raised their weapons for a heavy blow

“Crap! I forgot Ryoga can’t handle women!” Akane held up her staff. “Ranma hit the golems! Banish IV!”

The three succubi shrieked and vanished in a series of sparkles. Ranma caught the stone sword a golem had swung at Ryoga while Ukyo blocked the other’s spear.

“Hey how come you didn’t just do that?” Ukyo asked.

“That spell costs a ton of magic!” Akane shouted, “The Mana regen on this outfit is good but not that good. I can’t cast Banish IV against every summoned succubus we come across.”

Ranma threw the golem, it hit the wall with a heavy thud but rushed back to her. “Oy P-chan do something!”

Ryoga, meanwhile, was still in a ‘a pretty girl touched me’ coma. Staring blankly ahead and twitching, while Ukyo and Ranma fought off the golems.

Akane groaned, realizing a horrible fact. With this party comp, she’d have to play the healer. Wonderful, healing magic was so much less fun. ”Cleanse II” she said, and hopefully whatever Ryoga was suffering from counted as a status effect the spell could cure.

A sparkling green light washed over Ryoga, and his nose stopped bleeding. “Huh?!” he looked around. It was like a heavy weight had been lifted over his mind. Also, those skimpily clad demonic looking girls were gone, thank heavens.

Oh crap there were still those weird moving statues of Akane, each one attacking Ranma and Ukyo. Ukyo’s spatula seemed to be only bothering the spear one while Ranma kept punching and kicking the other golem to little effect. It was definitely odd, they were moving so flexibly despite looking like they were made of… rock…

“Bakusai tenketsu.” He stuck his finger in the back of the golem fighting Ranma. It promptly exploded. He then repeated this process with the one fighting Ukyo.

There was a four note chime, and the gate at the end of the room slid open.

Akane clapped her hands together “Wow Ryoga, great job. His golems are the worst part of any Stupid Dungeon he sets up.” Her clapping just happened to make her chest bounce in a way that was quite noticeable. Ranma, Ryoga, and Ukyo all suddenly found the floor to be a very interesting thing to look at. "Ugh, I'd almost take one of those dumb water puzzles over yet another golem."

The image of Akane, drenched and causing her outfit to cling to her even tighter, flashed through their minds. Ryoga and Ukyo both pinched their noses.

“This girl’s going to kill me.” Ukyo growled, “Stupid magic making them stupidly sexy.” She said.

“What was that?” Akane asked.

“Nothing!” Ukyo said, laughing nervously, “Let’s get this over with so Ranchan can be fixed.”

Go back - Go to the parent episode.

Tritan

Sun Apr 22 02:42:21 2018

Edit Tags

Add comment

2 comments Last updated: Sun Apr 22 21:28:01 2018