Ranma 1/2, I Can Be Cute If I Want!

Unending BE - episode 1375266

Tags: humor fan root Edit Tags

Akane had to wonder what sort of person could say that the prior week they had an argument with their fiance over both of their breast sizes. That's the sort of thing that no ordinary person could say. Definitely weird. But then, her life had always been a little bit on the weird side. She'd found that out when she was five years old and worked out the other k1ds had never seen their father put a full nelson onto an evil spirit.

Ranma, though... She'd been thinking about it ever since Ranma's mother had finally left, this time around. That whole thing about comparing the improved size of her bust with that of Ranma's girl form. Ugg and then the mess where Ranma had to peep on her in the bath in order to prove he was manly and thus not have to kill himself.

It was so weird. So frustrating. Ever since the day they met Ranma had insulted her figure, comparing it to his own girl form. He'd called her uncute, unappealing, not fit to be anyone's bride... When Akane was pretty sure that wasn't true! She'd make a damned good wife!

At least Ranma’s obvious frustration at her wearing a swimsuit during the ordeal brought a smile to her face. Some part of him had been hoping to see her naked! Which made it all the more frustrating that he'd gone back to type as soon as the whole thing was over with.

Uncute. Uncute. Uncute. She'd ignored it for a while now. She knew she was cute. Who says she was cute? Oh, not many boys, just all of the school's top athletes who tried to beat her in a fight for the right to date her. Which wasn't her idea admittedly, but rather the idea of the only boy that she knew who made Ranma seem like a genius by campari-

"My beloved!" Kuno yelled, leaping in towards her with arms outstretched. "I can tell that you think of me!"

"I'm thinking about how much I want you to go away!" Akane yelled, and punted him off into the horizon.

Alright. That helped. A little. Not much, but it helped. What would really help would be putting Ranma in his place. Getting him to admit that she was cute, and that she had plenty of appeal. She just didn't go around flaunting it because that's not the kind of girl she was.

She wasn’t like the other girls who were after Ranma. Who had no problem flaunting it. She could imagine it now, right in front of her. Ranma would be standing there gormlessly, while Shampoo snuggled her stupid sexy body into Ranma’s back. While Kodachi held out some flowers for him, and Ukyo latched on to the other side of Ranma to talk about some future plans involving him becoming her trophy husband.

"Why don't you leave Ranchan alone? It's obvious who he'd rather spend time with."

"Ohoho! For a girl who dresses like a boy, you're quite confident?"

"Leave Airen alone, is time for Shampoo to have private time with him, yes?"

Wait, she wasn't imagining it, that very thing was happening in front of her eyes right this very moment. Akane's fists clenched. If she'd been holding anything in them, it would've broken. She stared at the boy at the middle of their attention, and let out a low growl. Why that - he should be telling them to go away if he didn't like this! Come on, Saotome! Where was the tough and clever martial artist, huh? Letting a few girls get to you, when you can become a cute girl yourself?!

That's the thing that really set her off, that he had no real excuse for this behaviour. It was obvious he liked the attention, he just pretended not to.

Normally this is the point where Akane would throw a sarcastic comment across towards Ranma, or go stomping in to pull him away while making said sarcastic comment. Or just slapping him on the face and stomping off in a huff. But on this occasion something crept into her mind and settled in. It was a thought quite unlike her, but it was framed in such a way that it felt too delicious for her to ignore.

The best way to prove Ranma wrong would be to show him your appeal.

Such a thing should embarrass her. Such a thought should be completely alien to her. Show Ranma how appealing she could be? Don't be silly. Don't be daft. She couldn't do that. Not to him. Not to any boy!

Then again... it would provide her with a new way to flirt with him mercilessly tease him. To make him notice how sexy she was make him regret calling her “uncute.”

"Ranma!" Akane called out. And then, suppressing her instincts and killing intent, she skipped on over to him, pulled him into a hug, kissed his cheek and said “Remember that we have homework tonight~ ❤” The heart was very clear to all. “So come home soon. After you deal with these… hanger-ons.” Akane gestured vaguely to Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi. Who were all staring at her with their jaws dropped.

Then, without waiting for a response, she let go of him and skipped away beaming ear to ear. Mwahahaha! Even he wouldn't know how to counter a hit like that! She could already feel his eyes burning a hole into her body, completely transfixed to her retreating figure.

Of course, when Akane turned a corner she immediately had to brace herself against the wall now that she was out of sight. Oohhh! It just hit her! She hugged and kissed Ranma on the cheek! In public! Where everyone could see!

The sound of applause hit her ears while she reeled from that, and Akane found herself looking up into the smirking face of her older sister. Nabiki.

"Well done, sis. Well done," Nabiki said. "We had a pool going on how long it would take before you tried this stunt."

"Eh?" Akane grunted, barely standing under her own power at this point. "Wh-what stunt?"

"Messing with his head as retribution for his insults to your figure," Nabiki patiently replied. “Staking your claim with straight up acting like you’re half of a lovey-dovey couple.” She checked a notepad for her betting records. "Yuka thought it would take you about a month, Sayuri put it down to a year. Hiroshi and Daisuke put it down for six and seven months, while Principal Kuno... got it down to the day, how does he keep doing that?"

“Why is the Principal participating in a student run gambling scam?”

"Why does he do anything?" Nabiki countered. Got her there. "You're trying to distract me from the point, don't think I didn't notice."

"How much to keep you from telling daddy?" Akane said, resigning herself to fate.

To her great surprise, Nabiki stared at her with genuine confusion.

"Are you kidding me? Not telling them is pro bono," Nabiki said. Huh? "Watching Ranma stammer and stutter as you flirt with him is the best entertainment I can imagine. I only came over here to congratulate you for finally taking the plunge, and offering to distract those two idiots while you get your flirt on. Might even be able to get Kasumi in on it if I swing it right."

Well, this was an unusual turn of events. Normally she tolerated Nabiki's antics, but this time it actually seemed to be almost a genuine sisterly affection.

"Thanks sis," Akane said. "Um... I have to get home and prepare for that idiot, so..."

"Oh, don't worry, I'll be right behind you," Nabiki said. "I just need to give the Principal his winnings, and then I'll be right there."

Of course, what Akane had failed to realise was that the Principal hadn't actually placed any bet at all. Nabiki had something else in mind right now, after watching her sister scurry off home.

"Thirsty Akane is best Akane," Nabiki decided. "Now, to see an idiot brother in law about an idiot sister..."




There is a concept in Japanese culture that, in every young man's life, he would be at his peak appeal to the opposite sex. For Ranma Saotome - and to his annoyance - that time was apparently now. This young, handsome, healthy boy was certainly attracted to the opposite sex, make no mistake about it.

The trouble was more... How to put it? He was kind of massively inexperienced in this area, had pretty bad social skills in most situations and, you know, didn't really like that whole 'showing affection' thing that was kind of a big deal if you want a functional relationship.

This meant that he was completely and totally defenseless when it came to the opposite sex. Not when it came to martial arts, mind. Only the parts involving them being cute and sexy and trying to get a little action with him. He was fully aware of the functions behind reproduction, as any boy his age should be, but other than that acknowledgment his psychology related to relationships between the genders pretty much defaulted into one typically adopted by those ten years his junior.

That is to say, tugging on the hair of the girl you like and calling them names to get their attention.

"Ranchan? Are you okay?" Ukyo asked, waving a hand in front of his face.

"It finally happen," Shampoo said. "Violent kitchen destroyer break his brain."

“That devilish woman! What was she thinking using her lewd body on Ranma-darling like that!” Kodachi said. While wearing a skimpy leotard. Rubbing against Ranma. Do notice that he wasn't taking any mind of that, even though Kodachi was, objectively speaking, really pretty.

"I got it!" Ranma said, pounding his fist into his palm. "There was that freaky doll incident a while back where Akane got all flirty with me, but it was actually the spirit of a doll trying to kill me!"

"Or could be love spell?" Shampoo offered. "If Airen come with Shampoo, she can show him what real love look like..."

"Yeah, yeah! It could be a love spell! Like that dumb koi rod, or that pill bracelet, or maybe our pops got ahold of some dumb thing that they used on her... Or it could be a misfire..." Ranma mumbled, and then stumbled away from the girls who stared at his back in abject disappointment.

"Shit, we've as good as lost," Ukyo groused. "If Akane's seriously making a play for him, they'll be married inside a fortnight."

“Don’t be silly Kuonji. If Ranma-darling was not broken by the temptation my sensuous form offers he will not even be slightly aroused by Akane Tendo’s miserable body.” Kodachi said.

Shampoo didn't say anything, instead opting to silently retreat. Which unnerved the other two girls even more than if she'd said anything at all, because it meant she probably had a plan. And when Shampoo had a plan things tended to get scary

Not that Ranma had noticed this because his mind was still replaying the events of a few seconds over and over again. Akane hugged him. Akane kisses his cheek. Akane rubbed her index finger up his chest. It was like seeing a cow bark. Or a giraffe climbing a tree. The very idea that Akane Tendo could do something that... cute... felt as unnatural as a vampire. It went against the natural order of the world.

And much like how a vampire was perverse yet seductive, Ranma found himself wanting her to do it again.

No! No, that would be bad. It would be wrong. If Akane did something like that, he couldn't like it. That would mean that he liked her. What would happen if people saw her doing that? Their fathers would have them married in an instant. It would be a repeat of what happened after his fight with that bitch Mariko, where every day for the best part of a month he kept on hearing rumours about dirty things he and Akane were doing, that he definitely did not want to do with her, no sir, no how!

On the other hand, it was much better than her bad mood, and getting on with her better couldn't be a bad thing...

"My, my, Ranma. Your hand seems to be on your cheek, and that's quite the smile you're wearing."

And there goes his good mood. Ranma sighed, turned to Nabiki and then pulled out his wallet.

"How much?" he asked. To his surprise and horror, Nabiki waved him off. "Oh no, not you too?"

"Don't worry, I'm still behaving normally," Nabiki said. "You noticed it too, right? Akane's weird behaviour today?"

Weird behaviour...? Ranma leaned in closer.

"Actually, I'll tell you this for free because it could cause me some trouble as well," Nabiki said. "But don't tell anyone that I told you this, got it?"

Ah. That actually made sense. Nabiki didn't do things for free unless she was getting entertainment out of it, or avoiding trouble. At least he could relax around that.

"Ranma, we need to keep a close eye on her to figure out what's going on," Nabiki said. "She's definitely not in her right frame of mind, so it's your responsibility as her fiance to make sure nothing happens to her. Got it?"

Of course. He had to make sure that nothing happened to Akane. Which meant that no matter what she did, no matter how she threw herself at him, he couldn't do anything. Not that he would do anything.

"I got this," Ranma said. "Whatever's going on with her, we'll figure it out and get her back to her uncute self in no time flat!"

Then he dashed off back home, while Nabiki cooly inspected her fingernails and took a deep, deep breath.

"This... is going to be the most fun I've had in years," Nabiki said to herself. "I wonder which of them will break first? The seducer who doesn't actually want to mess around, or the one who wants to mess around but doesn't want to be seduced?"

  1. Ranma finds Akane in her room wearing quite revealing clothing and behaving flirtatiously.
  2. Ranma finds Akane in the dojo, trying to learn cheerleader martial arts.
  3. Akane comes up with a gameplan in her room while waiting for Ranma to arrive.
  4. Ryoga finds Akane while looking for Akari. Sees her flirting with Ranma
  5. Something else
  6. *Some other story
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Lumitiel

Sat Jun 27 17:00:33 2020

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