Thank you, dear reader for travelling this far to gain enlightenment. The History of chimping is shrouded in mystery, back when the word encyclopaedia had the a and the e stuck together and crunchy white dog shit was to be found on every street corner. The favoured myth is that in order to appease the angry monkey god Moanus, adherents would have to indulge in the ceremony known know as chimping. Dire consequences would ensue should if the monkey god was vexed, bribes of banana sherry, would be laid to rest beneath the crushing wheels of the chimp mobile, (a golden yellow carriage, with a roof as black (but as sparkly) as the night sky) They would Dye their hair jet black, and their faces yellow and squeeze mashed banana through their teeth, crying EEEK-EEEK-EEEK whilst slapping the chimpee* on the head repeatedly. The monkey god would only be appeased if the chimper** cryied the warning “cheeky chimp” twice before chimping and the chimpee was either cold, tired or hungry, with a monus-bonus if two or more of the above conditions were achieved. Their craven simianesque god would then give them eternal life. this is-was-should be the snoo snoo of all endurance (thank Vivian Stanshall)
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Tue Aug 22 06:52:33 2006