Dive, Speed Racer, Dive!

Unending BE - episode 173739

"Ha, ha, ha!" chortled Sailor Jupiter. "You're too late, Prince Speed! It's sundown of the third day! Meaning, your little Sharon is mine!" Her shapely schoolgirl legs suddenly morphed and multiplied into octopus arms, even as Sharon's own legs went taily. Seizing our hapless heroine, the villainous Sailor Scout leaped off the ship and into the ocean waves.

Prince Speed, momentarily shocked into inaction, ran dramatically toward the railing, only to be stopped up short and socked in the jaw by his best man, Racer X.

"Oh!" cried Speed as he fell woodenly to the wooden deck, his enormous eyes squeezed tightly shut.

"I can't let you do it, Speed!" cried Racer X. "This isn't the Mach 5 now, you know. Humans can't survive under water. You'd drown before you hit Mark twain!"

"I'm going to do it, Rex," cried Speed grimly, clenching his fists and firming his jaw heroicly. "I'm going to dive past mark twain!"

"Can't you leave me out of this?" asked Samuel L. Clemens, plaintively.

"No!" everyone snapped.

Just then, Speed's annoying kid brother snuck up on Rex and bit him on the leg. "Go, Speed!" he lip-synced badly. "And don't forget to bring me back some candy!"

With Rex distracted, Speed dove heroicly into the billowing waves, calling "I lost her once, Rex! I'm not going to lose her again!"

1. Under the sea, he hurled a harpoon at Sailor Jupiter, who was busy calling Mermaid Sharon a little tramp, which annoyed Charlie Chaplin no end.
2. Speed drowned almost as soon as he hit the water.
3. As Sailor Jupiter sped to her lair with Mermaid Sharon, the sea king Ultraman approached them crying "Jupiter, stop!"
4. But poor Speed did lose her again, as Mermaid Sharon was immediately saved from Sailor Jupiter's clutches by Marine Boy, and fell head over fins in love with her rescuer!
5. "No, no, no!" cried Jim, watching the show. "This is not what I had in mind!" He clicked on the remote, and . . .
6. Something Other.

Mon Sep 24 14:24:22 2001

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