Signed: RICHARD M. NIXON

Unending BE - episode 189068

"Those bilious Swedish bastards!" shouted President R.M. Nixon. "We'll break their balls!" Nixon keyed a hidden microphone under his desk and hit the intercom button. "Send in Haldeman, Erlichman, and Liddy!"

Within moments, Nixon's top hatchet man were standing in front of the White House desk. "Bob! John! Gordon! I want you to arrange a break-in to the Swedish Embassy!" Nixon Barked, leaning down so that his voice could be picked up by the microphone. The three men in front of him looked at each other, wondering why the President ws bent over with his face half below the level of the desk.

The weakest willed of the bunch, Erlichman, spoke up: "But, Mr. President, we already have a break-in scheduled at the Democratic National Headquarters in the Watergate complex!"

"Cancel it!" Nixon barked. "I want these (expletive deleted) Swedes investigated! Oh, and one other thing . . . "

1. *. . . get me a choclate eclair, I'm hungry!"
2. . . . have my ugly family killed!"
3. . . . Gordon, do you know where I can find a prostitute? One with really big fucking (expletive included) tits?"
4. Before the President could continue, hippies rose up to take over the White House!
5. *Before the President could continue, zombies rose up to take over the White House!
6. Before the Prsident could continue, hippie-zombies rose up to take control of the White House! "Help! Help!" Nixon shouted into the phone. "Call my Marine Guard! Call the Secret Service! Call Air Force One! Call O.J. Simpson! We're being invaded by a horde of hippie-zombies!"

Tue Dec 4 09:09:15 2001

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