Auth note: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI. Thank you!*bows and shoots himself...only to find it was a paintball gun* damn I just can't stoooop! Damn you great Joel, I blame the pianoman. He kept me smiling! ^_^. Oh, and if anyone manages to guess all the references even though they'll never be revealed.. Kudos ^_^, they're are one hell of a lot here. I don't think my calculator can count that high.
Rising above the clouds, his prey safely in hand, Mecha Zoicyte now proceeded to do the action necessary of maintaining his status as King Clo.. I meant King Villian. Hunting for souls to eat, energy to drain, and misery to spread around the world (I mean, villians are such lovable guys, you wouldn't guess he croches on his off hours and plays a damn nice game of marbles. Though he always seems to lose his.. oh back to the story!)
"Bwahahaha... Look at those cat-people/powerful martial artist types over there! They'll provide even more life energy than this one helpless and tired little girl! Mwahahahaha... GO pudgy Pink Powoo Hong Kong Kwafong Youma! Go Tree people from Mu! HECK, SEND IN THE CLOWNS! YA BABY YA! Send in the clowns! And I'm going to go to laugh and mock and get my ass handed to me, yeah baby ya!
And so just as he said little pink female dogish looking kwafong youma appeared surrounding the fiancee squad (Nabiki, Kasumi, Ukyou, Shampoo, and Akane (who were all suddenly kittified by the genre police aided by the "This author ain't fucking up or rewriting" task squad). Followed by giant Clown youma with big red noses and giant yellow boots in doctors clothes who chanted "laughter heals and hurts!" surrounding the outer senshi.
Landing before Ranma dramatically (Then tripping over his own pink cloak to fall on his face before standing up with a mud-covered face) "Ranma Saotome, Prepare to Die! I am Mecha Zoicyte!"Suddenly Tree People from Mu appeared, grasping with big tree-limbs and standing menacingly (they couldn't do much more being tree people and pretty much grounded to the spot. But damn it if they didn't look cool... and they could eat all of existence if you weren't careful you know!)
Taking one look at the mud covered baka before him Ranma reacted in a manner of a true warrior, presented with a threat to human life across the globe.
"Your going to kill me? Bwaaaaaahahahahahahahaha" *insert him falling down laughing*
"Yes, I am General Mecha Zoicyte, better, Faster, Stronger, Longer lasting in a drain... and I will destroy you!" Shouted the villian, still not having wiped the mud from his face and quite indignant at being laughed at. "Stop laughing at me!! WAAAI! STOP IT NOW I COMMAND YOU!"
Insert ten more minutes of Ranma laughing at Zoicyte
"Your really mean for a good guy you know that. You ready to die now?" whinned Mecha Zoicyte.
"Huh...oh.. Do we really have to?" asked Ranma.
"YES WE DO, I REALLY HAVE TO DRAIN YOUR SOUL AND EAT YOUR BRAINS TO REVIVE METALLIA IN AN ORGY OF BLOOD AND GORE" Screamed Mecha Zoicyte
"Okay... just one more second though..."Flicking a sound system beside him Ranma got into his classic "I'm not taking you seriously" Stance (c).
(auth note: I mysteriously misplaced this song in my other stack of cd's left at home, so... since these are all written on the road you'll have to do with my memory alongside my parody)
"They were kung foo Fighting! OH HA!" Leaping into combat the little Kwafong's rang a gong and leapt off with a "WHO" and a "Ha" and a "Sayayayayayaya Karate CHOP!" at the girls.
"Thier fists were fast as lightning, totally frightening"
Suddenly with a smirk all off the cats leaped into action slashing and slicing.. lil' youma bits going everywhere against nekoken strikes
"There was lil' 'Biki-chan, and tall Shampoo striking,
Sexy Ukyou baking, and Kasumi cutting and dicing! Oooohhh
They were a-kung foo Fighting!"
Then outer scouts demonstrated what they thought of humor... except for Uranus, who (who would of guessed) afraid of clowns. It took them a good three days to get the Clownaphobic scout out of the tree, involving cutting it down after trying everything else. I guess some people just can't stand so much humor ^-^;. Pity.. and they actually told good jokes to. I guess she really liked those tree people. She sure hugged that guy tight...
Thinking of something Mecha Fuy- I mean Mecha Zoicyte.. I mean Ranma Saotome had to ask as he was happily dodging the giant energy blasts allowing them to hit the tree people (Tree People:They don't pay us enough for this. I ought to eat him. Just as soon as he gets close enough! And where'd my purple one eyed, one horned, side kick go!)
"Hey, Mecha Zoicyte! You don't happen to have a bra tattoo on your back do you?"
"No, Why do you ask? Flower Storm Eternity Blast!"
"Just curious, and inserting an odd reference the author himself barely remembers. Oh And Fierce Tiger Ball Assault!"
"Oh, hmm.. you mind stopping a second." Asked Mecha Zoicyte in response
"Hmm... Well, it is against code, but I guess I could, Why though?" Responded Ranma
"Well, good chap, It's tea time." Answered Mecha Zoicyte as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Tea time. Oh how rude of me!" Suddenly sitting down Ranma and Zoicyte engaged in a typical british tea time, complete with good manners, crumpets, and fine british tea (did I mention accents.. just picture ranma speaking in a british tongue!). this of course resulted in a citywide sweatdrop. But who cares...
"Ah.. you make a fine tea, Mecha Zoicyte. Now where were we?" Asked Ranma kindly
"I was attempting to separate your soul from your body, goodsir Ranma. Shall we?" Asked Zoicyte.
"Certainly, Fierce Tiger Domineering!" Cried out Ranma Catching Zoicyte off guard in prime fashion.
"OH Woe is me... I am certainly doomed."-cried Zoicyte as he took the blast and flew a good 20 yards out of immediate grabbing range of any opponent. Now note the Inner senshi have been learning the downside of the genre police as they weren't able to activate the escape teleporters since it would be out of hand.
But now this happened! CLICHE! "Here's Looking At You Kid!" (Kung foo merry merry ends here, and HAAAPPY NEW YEAR!)
Mon Dec 31 18:23:52 2001