The woman that had been Jessica, shuddered again – she fell to the ground from the shock of it. It took about a minute but the changes slowly reversed themselves, she regained her lost stature and bust, hair returned to its blonde colour and her face changed back too. Jessica felt extremely drained and lay on the floor for several minutes, barely conscious before she even tried to move.
“My god, what have I done?” She thought to herself. “Instead of silencing my baser instincts I managed to unleash them!” She paused for a moment to think about what had happened, it had been strange but for the fleeting moments she had been, she had felt liberated and free. It was as if she had awakened from a long dream to realise that everything before was some poorly conceived fantasy.
Standing up, she realised how constrained she had been before. She admitted to herself that being that other person, just for those few moments had felt overwhelming but enjoyable. The lust and desire that had washed over her were a thousand times more powerful than anything she had ever dreamed of. Almost immediately after she felt that, she felt an intense mental conflict. She had always been a woman of upstanding morals and the like but a part of her now thought that wasn’t really important.
Feeling that this might be her other self, she immediately suppressed and rejected these thoughts. She felt physically and emotionally drained after the whole ordeal. She sighed, trying not to think about what had happened. She returned to her desk and are some of the now cold food – not really noticing its temperature. Looking over her formulas, she knew that there had to be something wrong with them but she couldn’t find anything…
“What did I do wrong?” Jessica wondered to herself. “Why didn’t it work properly?” Jessica pondered on through the evening and late into the night, eventually falling asleep at her desk. When she awoke she felt little better. Her sleep had been troubled by dreams of her other self, running free and causing havoc.
For some reason though, Jessica didn’t think that her other side was evil or malicious though. The impression she had gotten was that she was reckless and uninhibited – something that Jessica had secretly longed to be many times. Her horror at what she had initially seemed like a disaster was starting to recede – perhaps this could be exactly the kind of insight that she needed? By letting her amoral other free, maybe it would be possible for her to separate herself from that side of herself while she was Jessica.
Tue Jul 06 11:59:50 2004