"Didn't you tranquilize him with a twinkie?" Jim said as the bus started to roll again.
"Yeah - he's got one powerful metabolism." Dutch said, "Of course, it's supposed to be used on fifth grade kids wacked out on crack, not wacky adults..."
"And I have the POWER of my SPORK!" Gilfoy added, pulling another one out and jabbing the seat that Jim was sitting in.
"HEY! Don't hurt the seat! They have to last another ten years!" Dutch shouted, Jim looked around- with all the rust, rips, springs and stuffing exposed and barely covered up, he was surprised that Dutch's bus was even allowed to haul kids to school - of course, the local school district was bankrupt anyways..." Hey, Jim, tell your future in-law a story!"
"A STORY!" Gilfoy said, springing over the seat and sitting in Jim's lap, "Yeah, I wanna hear a STORY!"
"But..." Jim said at a loss.
"I wanna story!" Gilfoy said, "And so does my spork!"
"Yeah! Tell him about how your dad invented the spork!" Dutch said.
"WHAT?" Jim said, still at a loss.
"Ooooh - your Daddy invented to ALLMIGHTY SPORK!?!" Gilfoy said with awe in his eyes.
"Okay - he invented the spork. The end." Jim said.
"Booo! More details!" Dutch shouted, narrowly missing a limo as the bus wheeled around a tight corner. Jim groaned.
"Okay, okay - it's TOP SECRET though!" Jim said, trying to come up with something clever, "My Dad was working with NASA to invent a utensil that took up less weight on the way to the Moon- and to do that, he came up with the Spork, so the weight of the cutlery was cut down by a third - or they would never have gotten there."
"Ooooooo!" Gilfoy Slivovitz said in awe.
"And it worked so well, that the Commies tried to top him with the Spokife - which combined a spoon, a Fork and a Knife - but they ended up cutting their mouths when they ate, which caused their rocket to blow up- which is why the Commie never made it to the Moon. The end."
"Ooooooo!" Gilfoy Slivovitz said, looking away in amazement.
"Good story!" Dutch said as they raced along, "You'll do great when you and Sharon have kids just like her cousin Gilfoy there." Jim looked at Gilfoy, who was intently staring at his spork.
"We're gonna adopt." Jim declared.
Fri Aug 27 04:22:09 2004