Red, white and blue confetti filled the air, appearing as if out of nowhere. Sharon thought it was because she had just become the first female president, but in fact it was to celebrate the Addventure's achievement of another thousand episode landmark. Funny how our characters almost never notice such things.
Well, okay, that's what the confetti means for us, but as for its meaning for her, she was quite correct. It was Inauguration Day, and she and First Gentleman Jim were in an open limo moving slowly down Pennsylvania Avenue amid cheering crowds. Despite her poor wording of her wish, it seemed that her intention really had been fulfilled. She was the first female President of the United States of America, duly elected and all that jazz.
There were just one or two things she hadn't considered.
Presidents have to be married. It's an unwritten rule. So her boyfriend Jim was now her husband. She hadn't realized that by wishing to be Prsident she might be stuck with him for good. Not that he was all that bad or anything, but she had never quite imagined herself settling down with him. Oh, well.
Presidents have to be at least thirty-five years old. She had lost a lot of years in that wink of an eye between wish and wish fulfillment. Which might not have been so bad. Thirty-five isn't really all that old, and with a healthy diet and reasonable exercise the ravages of age can be put off for quite some time, even if you're starting off with the sort of Playboy model body Sharon had (due to one of her earlier wishes). The only things was,
The United States of America, it turned out, was a lot less socially enlightened than she had assumed. Truth is, it just wasn't ready for a female President yet in the year she had made her wish in, and, alas, wouldn't be for a good many years to come.
Oh, if only she was still as young as thirty-five . . .
And oh yes, lest I forget. The country had gradually been turning Republican, prudish and security mad when she had made her wish. You know, the whole red state/blue state thing. These trends had all continued. By the time Sharon became President, blue states were a thing of the past. She had been elected as a right-wing, Bible-thumping Born Again Christian. Which, these days, made her a centrist. Oh, and the cheering crowds were carefully selected, with anyone who might not have been cheering cordoned off into a special protest area a reasonably secure distance off. In Montreal, I think.
"Oh my God, Jim," cried crone-President Sharon. "What have I done?"
"Eh?" asked the First Gentleman, holding up his ear trumpet. (For such an inventive lad, he sure had gotten traditional in his old age.)
Tue Dec 07 23:14:46 2004
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