Everyone quickly gathered around D.J. "Wonder Woman's gone?" Sindy gulped. "Did the Supers get her?!" D.J. shook her head, "No, no, nothing like that. We're not in any danger, at least, not in any more danger than we already are."
"Without Wonder Woman by our side, we are definitely in more danger than we were before," Rincewind snorted dismally.
"But what happened?" JigSaw asked. "Where'd she go?"
And then D.J. told them her story. It started when everyone had gone off to explore the underground complex. D.J. and Wonder Woman had ended up in a storage area...
As Wonder Woman perused some of the shelves, D.J. came up to her and said, "Diana, I've been wondering about something you said earlier." Wonder Woman glanced at her inquiringly, waiting for her to continue. "You said that sooner or later Superman, who we all know is dead, is going to come back. And that he might already be back. What did you mean?"
Wonder Woman looked at D.J. with genuine surprise. "I don't know how it works where you're from, but this is how it is for all of us Supers trapped here in the Antipodes. The Authors force us to live out their fantasies out there in the BEAddventure. But when the story's done, or the story pauses for a bit, we come back here. And we wait, until the next time we're called on to go back and act out one of those sordid little episodes the Authors write up for us. That's one of the things that makes us so crazy, besides the whole mana addiction problem, because we have no control or say in it, and when we're called we have to go whether we like it or not. And it can happen at any time."
"I understand all of that," D.J. replied with just a hint of impatience and perhaps more than a touch of guilt. "If an Author writes a new Episode and you're in it, then to the Addventure you go. But what has that to do with Superman coming back from the dead?"
"Consider what happens when a Super dies in the Antipodes," Wonder Woman said, "but then an Author writes a new Episode starring that Super."
"Why... oh my," D.J. mumbled, her eyes growing wide with understanding. "I'd never thought about that. People on my side of the Backstage don't <i>ever</i> really die. Except for maybe Shackleton and Sawyer, and they always come back anyway. But, but... This is terrible! The next time an Author writes a Superman Episode, Supes will be resurrected! And then, when the Episode is over, he'll come right back here. And then he'll tell everyone what happened to him, that we killed him and that a bunch of us are Authors. All of our efforts to stay undetected here will have been for nothing!"
Wonder Woman moved in close to D.J. and took hold of her in a comforting embrace. "No," she whispered reassuringly. "You get the idea, but not exactly. You see, Superman will be back, and that makes him a very real threat to us. But it won't be the same Superman. When we die here, we die. Or at least this aspect of us dies. The Superman your magic trunk ate is dead and gone and will never come back. But as long as there are Supers in the BEAddventure, there will always be Supers here in the Antipodes. And that means a Superman will be back. That's why I was so afraid of the flyers heading toward Blis, Supes might have been one of them. And you don't want to mess with the Big Blue. But as for blowing our cover, no, you don't have to worry about that."
"Oh, that's good," D.J. smiled with relief. She felt much better now, and not least of all because of how it felt to be in Diana's arms. Gazing up into her eyes, D.J. leaned in with her lips. Diana smiled and leaned in too. But their tender kiss was suddenly interrupted.
"Sorry to interrupt, but you're needed in the Addventure, Princess Diana!" a man shouted as he rushed toward them. A woman, younger than the man, chased briskly after him. In her arms she clutched a stack of scripts to her chest. D.J. gaped at the pair, she'd seen them once or twice before and knew exactly who they were. But she hadn't really expected to see them here. Which was actually kind of stupid on her part.
"Stage Manager and Script Girl!" D.J. exclaimed.
"That's right," Stage Manager replied with a smile. "And its time for Wonder Woman to get back on stage. And new Episodes don't like to be kept waiting."
Script Girl waved one of her scripts in the air, "Here's a Wonder Whore ep, and there's a couple of Lesbian JLA episodes as well. Not too much dialogue though, so it shouldn't be hard to memorize your lines Diana."
Stage Manager took hold of Diana's arm and began hustling her away. Instinctively, D.J. tried to hold her back. "But she doesn't want to go!" D.J. snapped.
Stage Manager stopped and stared at D.J. "And your point is? Listen Deej, you may be a big shot in the Backstage, but I run the BEAddventure (well, in my own small way) and that means that right now I outrank you. You know perfectly well that when a Character gets cast in an Episode its my job to make sure they get there on time. Whether they, or you, like it or not."
"But, but, but," D.J. stumbled. Diana looked at her resignedly. And then D.J. got a great idea. "But we're right in the middle of a storyline right now! You can't just pull her out like its no big deal!"
"Oh yes I can," Stage Manager grinned arrogantly. "The Backstage plays by different rules than the Addventure does, as per the wishes of the Authors themselves. Well, some of the Authors anyways. But be that as it may, the bottom line is, Wonder Woman is a Character just like everybody else and when an Episode is written up with her in it she's got to go. And I don't see what you're all in a huff about anyway, after she's done she'll be shelved back here like usual. You can have her back then."
And with that Wonder Woman, Stage Manager and Script Girl vanished from the Backstage.
When D.J. was done with her story, Gypsy asked, "So, uh, how long will she be gone?"
"I don't know," D.J. answered truthfully. "Time is too subjective. Sometimes its almost impossible to track the passage of time in a story until you see where it gets linked back into the main stream of things. And even then you have to guess a lot of the time."
"Just as importantly," JigSaw added, "where will she return to? Back here? Or do Supers get dropped off back at Superhero City when they get re-shelved? I don't know how things work around here, but back in our part of the country, most Characters get shelved to Backstage Central regardless of where they were when they left the Backstage."
D.J., already unhappy over the loss of Diana and anxious for her return, became even more perturbed because of JigSaw's accurate observation. And none of the others were glad about the Big W being taken off their team either. None of them, that is, except for one. "Hey, nothing to worry about there folks," Dabbler piped up cheerfully. "Wonder Woman will be back when she gets back. But as for the rest of us..." Dabbler dramatically unrolled the Prophecy parchment and, pointing to it, said, "And tho two of their number shall be missing as they leave the sanctuary behind, to the Black Rock their feet shall guide them. Come on people, we've got a prophecy to fulfill and a world to save!"
Fri Oct 07 21:10:45 2005