It was not exactly the first place that she would normally head to when not going to school - that would be the arcade - but right now she needed information. Where better than a library to start looking? It might well give her a clue of some sort. If not, well, then she'd look elsewhere. Right now she couldn't think of anything, but maybe while she searched...
Oh hey, computers! Forgetting what she was doing for the moment, Usagi skipped on over to the corner of the library where about sixteen computers were placed around a large desk, half with their backs to the other half. A sign said they were for public use, and that she just needed to ask at the desk. Hooray, she could play games on these to take her worries away!
"I'd like to use a computer!" she said, cheerily to the woman behind the desk.
"Are you a member of the library?"
"Um... No."
"That's fine. Just sign your name and I'll give you a temporary password. You'll be logged in for about an hour, and will have full Internet access - besides sites blocked for obvious reasons."
O-kay. She didn't know quite what this "Internet" thingy was, but the rest sounded pretty good. Well, anyway. She filled in the form as best she could, and took note of one interesting thing that shocked her back into deep concern. The date on the form. 2011? But... that was almost twenty years? Had she emerged in the future somehow? Maybe that hole she fell into was a time hole of some sort...
She was about to give up on this computer thing, when she noticed something else on the form. "I understand that the public computers are only to be used for the purposes of research, education, sending emails and other permitted activities. I understand that websites are blocked for public safety, and will not misuse these facilities." Research. She could use the computers for research. That sounded promising. That was what she would do!
The temporary username and password was entered swiftly enough, and she was in. Not one clue how to actually research Sailor Moon, but she was in at least! Step in the right direction. But what now? What was the next step? Hm. Maybe if she clicked on this thingy over here. "Help and assistance."
Oh, now this was rather useful. It was a step by step set of instructions telling her how to use the Internet to do research. It was so clever how they got all that information into such a tiny box. Alright. So, start the browser like so, then use the search engine, type in Sailor Moon...
About 35,700,000 results. That was probably the biggest number she'd ever seen in her entire life. Next step was to choose a promising link, and click on it... Let's go with the first one. "Jay Ah dot w-wikipehdeea dot oh ar gee Sailor Moon. Sure, that looks promising."
And then she read words which shocked her to the very core of her being. How was this possible? Her life was a fiction. A narrative constructed by someone she'd never met or heard of called Naoko Takeuchi. Her entire life was a manga, or perhaps an anime or computer game or movie or some other spinoff. If nothing else, she could take some solace in the knowledge that she was one of the most famous fictional characters of the last twenty years, but even so, major existential crisis here. She read through the rest of the page faster than she'd read anything non-fictional before in her life. Absorbed all the information her brain would let her. How was she supposed to be this hero, Sailor Moon, when she knew it was all a lie? How was she supposed to do these things, be courageous and brave and save the day or even care about any of it when she knew it was all constructed solely for entertainment purposes? What did it matter?
Something sparked a memory then, of an event from just last year. Her family had been walking by a beach at the time, and a rotten stench filled the air. Usagi had made the mistake of looking over, and saw that the beach was covered in starfish. But there was a man there, standing on the beach, and he picked up a starfish and tossed it back into the ocean. Then another. And another.
"Why's he bothering?" her bratty little brother asked. "There's too many for him to save. He can't help them all."
"It matters," their father had replied, just as the man picked up another starfish. As it was tossed into the ocean, he finished. "Just ask that one."
Alright. So it mattered to her. It was her life. Even if it wasn't real, even if it was a fiction, then she still remembered them. Her family. Her friend Naru. Her classmates at school. They were all real to her, dammit! She would not wallow in self pity. It mattered to her. She would not let the weight of this crush her spirit, when there was still evil to fight and innocent people to protect in her home reality. It mattered to her! She was Sailor Moon, reincarnated Princess of the Moon Kingdom - boy did that sound weird when she put it like that even though something deep within was nodding along in agreement - and she would not be overcome by ennui! It mattered to her! That "website" had described her as an an immature crybaby, but it also said that she grew into her role as a hero, said that she wanted to protect those that she cared about! It all mattered to her! It - It seemed as though her hour had run short. Oh dear. That definitely mattered to her.
After all, she needed more information. Especially if she was to return to her home dimension... After all, how much trouble would it save to know everything in advance? To know what monsters to expect, what their weaknesses were, any secret they could exploit, tactics they could use, how they win how they lose how they fight and when fighting wasn't even necessary. That information was vital, and - and she would have to look elsewhere for it. She excused herself and left the library while she engaged in an activity quite outside the norm. She thought. And she also felt that sitting still like this was not conducive to figuring out her next move.
She thought and thought for what seemed like hours, trying desperately to make sense of the situation. Look up her "creator"? Talk to them about what happened? No,she'd be thought of as some kind of a lunatic. Probably taken off to talk to a shrink. Maybe she was mad. Maybe she -
Hold on, back up a minute. Her brain was screaming something at her. Something it had subconsciously noticed but she hadn't quite picked up yet. That girl that just walked past. Take a closer look at her. Notice anything strange? Why yes, now that you mention it. There is something very odd. She was dressed up just like... Just like her! Well, like Sailor Moon. Gosh, that skirt was so tiny! How was anyone supposed to fight monsters in that getup? At least it looked pretty, so that was something. Anyway, the best thing for it was to follow this girl. Where was she going? What was she up to? Why was she dressed up like that and - Gah! More of them! Worse yet, they'd noticed her staring, and were beckoning her over.
"Hey, that's a nice costume!" one of them said, nodding appreciatively. "Bit weird you're not a Senshi, but that's a clever way to stand out. Civilian guise, and all that.Wanna come with us to the convention?"
"Uh... Sure thing!"
And off they went to the convention. Just like that. Oh, but this wasn't right. This wasn't right at all! The other girls were rather complimentary about her outfit, saying that it was truly authentic, and that the hairstyle had to be the closest they'd ever seen to the real deal and how did she get it like that? She didn't really know how to answer that question. It just sort of turned out that way. They were certainly pleasant enough. The only bump in the conversation came when she was asked her name.
"Usagi Tsuniko," she had answered rather thoughtlessly.
There was a hush from the others, before one of them nodded in understanding. "I gotcha. You're in character."
"R-right, in character."
They arrived at the convention and oh my goodness that was a lot of people. So many of them dressed up in outfits that she assumed had to be fictional characters of one sort or another. She looked around, trying to take it all in but there was so much of it. Where could she possibly begin?
"You look a little lost," her would be mirror image said. "Come on, let's show you where the Sailor Moon doujinshi is."
Yes, of course! Fan comics were the perfect way to find out a few things about the series! There was just one problem. Usagi, coming from an age a little before Internet ubiquity, had not heard of Rule 34, but she very quickly learned of it during her stay at this convention. Which is why she'd run to the bathroom, and sprinkled water on her flushed face and kept on muttering "Perverts! The whole lot of them! Perverts!"
It didn't exactly help that a few of them had been so impressed by her costume that they insisted on giving her free copies in exchange for a photograph. She felt too humiliated to refuse.
"Okay. Let's forget about those pervertspervertsperverts! Ahem."
"Hey, are you feeling alright?"
"Huh?" Another Sailor Scout had entered the bathroom. She hadn't had the time to memorise which was which. The one with blue hair. "Oh. I guess so."
"If you say so..." And suddenly, it hit Usagi that this was her perfect opportunity. Got a fan alone, by herself. Time to learn a few things...
"So, you're a big fan of Sailor Moon?"
"You bet. I guess you're a fan of the manga or something ,right?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, because Usagi never appeared in the anime after the first five minutes."
Wait, what? That wasn't what she'd seen before.
"She fell into this weird hole, and vanished. It's part of the show's big success. A huge break away from the manga events. Completely shifted the tone. Suddenly, it's all about the search for the mysteriously vanished Sailor Moon! So much darker, edgier, character driven brilliance. Is it any wonder the show was a gateway anime for so many people?"
Usagi started to tremble a little. None of this was even slightly connected to what she had read earlier. "Could you... tell me more about the anime?"
Five minutes passed. Then the bathroom door was thrown open as Usagi, tears falling down her cheeks, ran through the convention clutching her bag to her chest. No. No. No. No. No! This would not happen, this could not happen, she would never, ever allow this to happen! Somehow, her vanishing from her own world had changed the events of the anime. Not at first, but the change had eventually hit and now it was her fault and she had to get back! She had to get back!
Usagi ran through the con, through the streets, her feet guiding her on instinct. She insisted to herself that she was not an immature crybaby. She was better than that. She was Sailor Moon and she'd save the day, and beat the monsters and - and this was the street where she'd first dropped in on her butt! Trouble was, she didn't quite recognise this fact until she felt the ground slip away from underneath her, and she and her bag were hurling through the darkness once again, and she found herself praying "please, I want to go home."
Sun Aug 14 15:36:28 2011
3 comments Last updated: Mon Aug 15 20:43:01 2011