"Oh? The Professor?" Gilligan replied. "He's in his hut working on his teleportation device."
Jim looked around and noticed there were four huts. "Which one is his?"
"This one," Gilligan answered, taking him into the smallest hut.
"Hello, Professor!" Gilligan greeted a man behind a work table who was working on some clumsily fashioned equipment. "I've brought someone to meet you. Professor, this is Jim. Your teleportation device accidentally brought him to the island."
"Hi, Gilligan!" The Professor replied. "Nice to meet you Jim. I'm sorry about that teleportation error. I must have gotten my coconuts crossed. It was supposed to transport us off the island and not bring you here. Hmmm!" He calculated. "Unless I'm mistaken, you were probably located on the exact opposite side of the planet from us so, when I reversed the polarity on the coconuts, ixo-facto and you're here!"
Jim nodded. "Our whole apartment showed up. My girl friend's here, too."
"Oh! Ya!" Gilligan nodded, eagerly explaining to the Professor. "And you ought to see his girlfriend! She's this big blonde and she's got these HUGE tits! And she's got FOUR of them! They're just humongous, Professor! And when she walks they heave and sway in about 12 different directions! I mean they're sloshing up and down and all around! I get seasick just watching her!"
"Four boobs?" The Professor asked with a frown. "My teleportation device shouldn't have done that."
"It didn't." Jim told him. "I did that with a growth formula I developed and gave to her as a present disguised as perfume."
"A growth formula disguised as perfume?" The Professor asked, raising his eyebrows with interest. "Ahh! Yes! How many times have I done that one? But that sounds very interesting. How did you do that?"
"I just cooked up a radioactive liquid spray. It works on the same principal as my atomic battery powered BE gun."
"A BE gun? Now that really does sound interesting!" The Professor said with a nod. "I've been trying to invent something like that for months. You know - just to liven up the entertainment around here."
"Oh! It's very entertaining." Jim acknowledged.
"What kind of growth exponentials do you get? And do you use a nuclear source in order to get matter from energy?"
"Beats me." Jim admitted. "I just stuck the thing together, point it, and shoot."
"I can certainly understand the principals behind the BE gun, but how do you stabilize your subject afterwards?" The Professor wanted to know.
"Stabilize?" Jim echoed.
"Certainly!" The Professor said as he went on. "If you just sprayed it on your girlfriend, it would be absorbed into her and she'd become genetically unstable. What keeps her from mutating again?"
Jim stared at the Professor. Oops! He hadn't thought about that!
Before he could answer though, an approaching voice called from outside the hut.
Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Fri Jul 7 15:50:34 2000