The way Link had been living, it was easier for her to feel sometimes like her day would never change, that they would simply go on in an endless cycle of getting up, eating, working on the farm, eating, spending some quality time with Midna, going to bed tired and with a full stomach, then waking up and doing it all over again. On this morning, as she yawned as she climbed out of bed, combed her hair, had a quick breakfast, got dressed, and finally climbed down the ladder of her house, she had no reason to believe that today would be any different. She heard a sleepy yawn come from her shadow cast by the early morning sun when she was halfway down the ladder, earlier than Midna usually chose to wake up.
"Morning, sleepyhead." Link said warmly.
"Mmm." Midna responded, still half asleep. "Something about this ladder always wakes me up. Can't you install a ramp or something already?"
"Don't fix what's not broken." Link said sagely, getting a cynical snort from Midna.
"Don't try to tell me you're still the climbing type." Midna said sceptically. "I'm surprised you can even still carry yourself up this thing!"
"I don't have to worry about muscle, I do plenty of heavy lifting around the ranch." Link said, reaching firm ground while noting that her gut tended to press against the rungs of the ladder if she wasn't careful. "Plus I have to carry all of this weight around, that'll make anybody strong."
"Oh, I see, so that's your grand plan to become strong enough to defeat Zant." Midna said, but by this point, the idea of returning to combat was relegated entirely to passing jokes and wishful thinking. Neither of them took the concept seriously anymore, which worried her. What was left for an imp like her if she were to live her life entirely in her lover's shadow?
"I suppose I should consider lunch and dinner weight training then-" Midna's banter was cut off by the sound of footsteps, causing her to instantly lower her voice. But instead of Fado getting ahead of himself and coming to meet Link early, or Ilia passing through with Epona, or even the town's k1ds coming to attempt to enlist Link in their latest misadventure, it was coming from a different direction entirely than the town entrance.
"Somebody's coming. An outsider." Midna warned as she retreated deeper into the depths of Link's shadow and kept herself quiet. Link turned her head towards the pathway that led to the spring and eventually the town's exit, finding a cloaked figure with a hood obscuring their features walking down the lane seemingly towards her.
"Can I help you, ma'am?" Link asked politely, able to make out a narrow chin and slender lips that gave away the stranger's gender under her black hood. Although Ordon was on guard against any figure that might wander into Ordon, they prided themselves on still showing the traditional Ordon hospitality once they had determined that they weren't a monster. Perhaps this woman was somebody who had heard of Ordon's prosperity and made a pilgrimage to them? She likely wasn't a merchant, those being scarce in the wake of the monster-infested fields.
"Are you Link?" The woman asked, a clear and cool voice that felt strangely familiar to Link.
"And what if I am?" Link said cautiously.
"A man with a bird on his head told me I'd find you here." The woman said, a confusing statement to anybody but Ordon locals. The woman lowered her hood, revealing a stunningly beautiful young woman with long, carefully presented brown hair and an elegant visage ill-fitting of her rough attire. "Although I was expecting you to be... skinnier."
"Hang on, are you...?" Link realised just who this was, the woman giving her a slightly cold smile in acknowledgement.
"Indeed. Although you were looking up at me the last we met." She said plainly. "I am Princess Zelda of the royal Hyrule family, although it is an empty title in our current era."
"What the hell are you doing out of your castle, your highness?" Midna abruptly joined the conversation with wide eyes, springing out of Link's shadow.
"A good question, dweller of twilight." Princess Zelda said, nonplussed by her sudden appearance. "But I have much better questions for you and your companion. Ones that I demand an answer to, so much that I would meet you in person. Count yourself fortunate that you've spent so much time dilly-dallying that Zant himself cares little if I escape!"
"Uh..." Link said awkwardly, shifting in her sandals. "I swear there's a good reason for that."
"Would this reason happen to involve the local produce? Perhaps Ordon produces confectionary that I'm unaware of?" Zelda said sceptically, staring down at her bulging belly and thick thighs thoroughly unsuited for saving the kigndom. "You certainly seemed to be lighter when you were a wolf."
"A wolf wasn't the only transformation we had to put up with lately." Midna said cryptically, giving Zelda pause as she realised that Midna wasn't referring simply to putting on weight.
"Whatever excuse you may have, it had very well better be a good one." The indignant Zelda said, pointing an authoritative finger at her. "Hyrule does not wait for you, so-called hero! I had the most faith in you of all, and yet you disappeared to live a comfortable life in your backwater village at the expense of Hyrule's citizens! I had feared that you had suffered some great injury or reasonable setback and come in search of you, yet the only affliction you seem to suffer is gluttony!"
"Listen, there's a perfectly good explanation for all of this, I promise. For now, why don't you come inside so we can talk about it?" Link gestured towards the ladder, Zelda staring at her as if she were crazy.
"Do all Ordonians insist on such effort being required simply to enter their own houses?" She asked with her arms crossed.
"Just this one." Midna sniggered. "She needs the workout, as you can see."
"Midna!" Link complained, but Zelda seemed to have already decided to get over it.
"I suppose living in a giant tree has a certain rustic appeal." Zelda said as she climbed up the ladder, Link and Midna getting the feeling that their carefree days might be over...
--
"Transformed? Into a woman?" Zelda repeated incredulously, sitting in Link's only chair. She had removed her cloak, revealing herself to be wearing a simple brown dress that any woman off the street could have afforded, rather than the finery expected of her. She had mentioned that she was travelling in disguise, after all. "No wonder I expected you to be taller. What an utterly bizarre curse!"
"Tell me about it." Link sighed. "I wasn't exactly prepared for it, you know. I don't know how it works, but it's like the world changed so that I was always a woman."
"I suppose I shan't blame you for your weight then." Zelda said, then her brow furrowed as she immediately changed her mind. "Actually, I shall! You've had months to fix your weight, if not your gender! So why are you still stuffed like a prize pig!?"
"It's easier said than done, princess." Link mumbled guiltily. "You'd understand if you were this big."
"Well I'm not, and I don't." Zelda huffed. "Can Hyrule's destiny really depend on such a lazy girl?"
"Hey, she's a hard worker, just not at exercising." Midna commented, Link really feeling like she was being thrown under the bus here. "Anyway, we've been here ever since and we've been unable to discover squat. Hylian magic isn't my forte, you see."
"Then I shall assist you." Zelda decided. "I don't know about this chest or shrine of yours you found, but I'm fluent in ancient Hylian and most forms of magic, even those used only by ancient civilisations. If anybody can return you to normal, it's me."
"We'd really appreciate it." Link said. "Well, I guess we should go check it now!"
Link headed towards the door, but Zelda remained seated.
"Uh, princess?" Link asked. "Are we going?"
"Not at the moment." Zelda said calmly.
"Why not?"
Zelda's cheeks turned very slightly red.
"I can't move. My legs refuse to obey me." Zelda admitted, refusing to make eye contact. "The carriage would only take me so far, and I've been walking for so long, and I haven't had anything to eat since I left the castle..."
"You should have just said so!" Link laughed, Zelda not seeming so tough now. "I figured you would have at least bought enough supplies to last the trip."
"I couldn't afford any, I have no money at all." Zelda explained.
"No money at all? I thought you were rich!" Link exclaimed. "You're a princess, aren't you?"
"Of course I am. So wealthy in fact, that I've never had need to carry a rupee purse in my life." Zelda said without a hint of bragging in her voice, merely stating a fact of life. "I was able to purchase new clothes and a fare to a driver willing to brave Hyrule Field using what little jewelry I had with me, but sadly I was assuming it would only need to buy a one way trip. I'll admit that I greatly undervalued my accessories, but I had no time to exchange it in the city, and simply gave them away on the spot. I have plenty more at the castle, after all."
"Guess you're a princess after all, even without your crown and castle! You can rule a kingdom, but you've got no common sense!" Midna shook her head, Zelda's ego too bruised to take it lying down.
"Why's it such a big deal anyway?" Zelda said, her composure slipping. "You were supposed to be the one taking me right back! In the meantime, you should be happy that the princess herself has decided to stay with you?"
"You're moving in?" Link felt like she should have seen this coming.
"Of course I am, until we've fixed you." Zelda said, looking like she was rapidly losing her cool between Midna's jabs and her plan to find the hero and return him to action falling apart. "Besides, as the princess of Hyrule, all the land within belongs to me."
"Did you forget we're in Ordon, princess?" Midna cackled, Zelda immediately becoming embarrassed. "We aren't even in Hyrule right now!"
"Hey now, that distinction is mostly only on paper." Link hurried to defuse the situation. "I'm more than happy to have you stay here for a while, as long as I can get another bed up here."
"Of course. You wouldn't want to sleep on the floor, after all." Zelda said, making it obvious that she had zero intention of compromising on who was getting the lone bed. "Now, let's discuss what to do next. If we can't undo this curse, I shall arrange a workout plan-"
Zelda was interrupted by a mighty growl from her stomach, instantly gaining Link's sympathy.
"Let's get you fed first." Link decided. "But my pantry's empty right now, we'll have to go into the village. But first, let's do something about your appearance."
Zelda seemed confused. "What about it?"
"You're trying to keep a low profile, right?" Link pointed out. "You don't exactly look like a commoner."
"What do you mean? I'm wearing ordinary clothes, and I've removed all of my jewellery. I should look like an ordinary woman, no?" Zelda protested. "Are you sure you aren't just biased since we've met before?"
"Just putting on a boring dress doesn't make it a perfect disguise, your highness." Link explained. "First of all, your hair. It's the same as when we met last time, right?"
"Is there something wrong with it?" Zelda asked defensively.
"Well, there's nothing wrong with the braids, but I don't know any girls who wear metal tips." Link pointed at the metal ends of her hair. "And you look awfully well put together for somebody on the road. And your clothes are a little too plain. Girls from the city like to dress up, even when they're travelling." Nobody's going to think you're a commoner at this rate. I'd lend you some of my old clothes, but you're too tall for them. We'll have to get Uli to sew you some new clothes."
"Uli being...?" Zelda asked. It seemed obvious that she had intended to meet Link, whisk her away, and never bother meeting the rest of the village, and despite her cool disposition, it showed on her face when she showed apprehension towards the unfamiliar.
"The best cook in all of Ordon." Link smiled.
--
"Alright, I think we're ready." Link put down her brush, having finished redoing Zelda's hair to the best of her ability, which was thankfully not as perfect, despite Zelda's protests. Her hair at the front was left mostly the same at Zelda's insistence, given their usual wrappings under with a simple braid to end them rather than her unusual accessories. Her hair at the back was too given simpler arrangement of a traditional Ordon-style braid, and tied together with a common ribbon. Her hair was brushed back by Link, giving it an imperfection that she felt would do for now. Zelda was given some cheap earrings and jewellery by Link, deciding that it would be unusual for an obvious city girl like her to go completely without. The dress would be replaced soon enough, and Link decided that it was too much effort creating a cover story for it besides that Zelda had wanted to wear something rugged. Midna had a few laughs at Zelda's now ordinary appearance, but Zelda seemed satisfied enough with it.
The three made their way into Ordon Village itself, where Zelda found herself getting looks from the various villagers simply for being a newcomer. When approached Link gave a vague explanation of her being a friend from out of town, and the two were able to make it most of the way to Uli's house without being bothered too much.
"Morning, Link!" Ilia waved as the two passed, Ilia leading Epona up to the ranch for her daily work. Ilia looked at Zelda, making the secret princess uncomfortable as she sized Zelda up from top to bottom. Zelda in return seemed surprised by how portly Ilia was for her age, with her wide hips and pot belly.
"Um, I don't mean to be impolite, but do I know you?" Ilia asked shyly. "You see, I lost my memory when this village was attacked, and I haven't quite remembered everybody just yet..."
"Don't worry, this is my first time meeting you too." Zelda said sympathetically. "Pleased to meet you, miss..."
"Ilia." She said with relief. "I thought so. You're from Hyrule Castle Town, aren't you? I spent some time there, but there were so many people, I couldn't have met them all."
"How did you know?" Zelda seemed surprised even though it was obvious that there were only so many places she could have come from.
"Well, you're so pretty and all, and you don't look like you work on a farm for a living. And you don't dress like the people from Kakariko." Ilia smiled.
"What!? You're from Castle Town?" The group heard a young voice exclaim, the three looking over to see Talo, Beth, and Colin together as usual, Beth looking starry-eyed as if she had just ran into a celebrity. Which she had, even if she didn't know it. Malo, the youngest, had actually not come home with them, declaring Malo Mart his life's work and focusing instead of managing a steady supply chain between the villages as well as his business empire. Unable to convince him otherwise, his parents settled for letters and the occasional trip when monsters were scarce.
"What's it like? Are all the women there so pretty? What're the latest fashion trends?" Beth demanded to know, the young girl swarming her with questions. Talo seemed less interested in Zelda herself and had bothered Link a lot less ever since she went from somewhat of an older brother to an older sister, but still seemed intrigued enough to stick around. Colin seemed shy in the face of a stranger as always, instead approaching Link while Zelda tried to give convincing answers to Beth.
"Oh, I guess you're busy today." Colin said with obvious disappointment, Link smiling and patting him on the head.
"Don't worry, I'll find time to go fishing with you today like we planned." Link promised, Colin lighting up. "We were actually just coming over to your house right now."
The two were able to break away from the k1ds while Ilia
"My, who's your friend, Link?" Uli exclaimed as the motherly woman
"Pleased to meet you, Ma'am." Zelda said before Link could open her mouth, suddenly bursting with friendly energy with a smile plastered on her face. "I'm Hilda, an acquaintance of Link, as you can see. I've just arrived from Castle Town, and Link here said you were the best cook in all of Ordon! I simply had to make my first stop here after that. If Link said it, it must be true!"
"Oh, you two are flattering me." Uli laughed, her fat jiggling slightly as she rose her hands to her flabby cheeks. "What a polite young woman you've made friends with, Link! Come on in!"
Link gave Zelda a less than pleased look, while Zelda kept her hospitable smile and whispered to her.
"Are all Ordon women so... well fed?"
Link chose to ignore that as the two entered, Zelda visibly perking up beyond her energetic act as they entered a house filled with the sweet scent of Uli's pumpkin soup.
"So, Hilda, tell us about yourself." Uli said as she stirred the soup, her baby still sleeping.
"Well, you know how Hyrule is like these days." "Hilda" said cheerfully, taking a seat but looking ready to leap back up the moment the soup was ready. "I was thinking of mixing things up for a change, and then I met Link who had nothing but wonderful things to say about her home. Eventually, I decided that I just couldn't resist seeing for myself!"
"But is our little village exciting enough for a young lady like yourself?" Uli asked, the soup almost ready to serve.
"Oh no, I was finding my life there rather boring." Hilda said, her expression looking slightly strained. Haughty as she might be, Zelda truly cared for her kingdom and found being able to do nothing at all extremely frustrating. "A bit of fresh air will do me a world of good."
"I'm sure it will!" Uli said as she came over with an extra large bowl for her. "Now, eat up! You look like you're all skin and bones!"
Zelda didn't have to be told, digging in with a remarkable lack of dignified pacing, focusing on getting as much into her mouth as she could as quickly as possible. Was it just her or was this one of the most delicious things she had tasted in years, even ignoring the bare bone meals she had been having at the castle after its capture?
"Sorry it's more to your tastes." Uli apologised for some reason that Zelda couldn't understand. "If I had known you were coming I would have made something fancier..."
"But this is so good!" Zelda found herself saying, blushing slightly as she realised she had lacked her usual restraint.
"Well I'm glad to hear it!" Uli smiled warmly. "I'll be sure to make something twice as good next time if you liked this one so much!"
Zelda ended up having several helpings, matching pace with the fatter women as she realised why the average Ordonian woman seemed to be so plump, if this was what they called a quick and easy meal...
--
"Why exactly am I helping you with this?" Zelda grumbled as she clumsily milked a goat at a fraction of the speed Link managed while Fado stayed out in the field to avoid being overwhelmed by the pretty lady Link had brought with her. Zelda was wearing a quickly modified version of Uli's clothes, the pants replaced with a long skirt to turn it into a dress thanks to having to think quickly to make up for the height difference between the two. Uli had promised to make something more personalised for her, but for now it would do. Between it and her being dragged to the ranch by Link after their meal, she was already starting to look more like a village girl and less like a princess wearing ordinary clothes.
"Those who don't work won't eat." Link said sagely, an adage Zelda seemed to take offense to. "If you want dinner, you're going to have to earn it."
"We don't take freeloaders." Midna said smugly. "Come on princess, don't you want to fit in?"
"This is most unbecoming of a woman of my status." Zelda grumbled. It was obvious that the two had some sort of grudge against her, even though it was their fault that they had gotten so fat and lazy. It certainly seemed idyllic enough, but it was her job to drag them out of it! Hopefully, anyway...
Wed Jun 30 01:20:20 2021
3 comments Last updated: Thu Jul 1 21:43:01 2021