“Oh Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign, your Imperial Wizard has arrived.”
“Send her in,” said the Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign.
The ornate doors of the throne room were opened. Each twenty feet tall and inlaid with golden designs of dragons and suns and the like, they required two guardsmen each to open, their impregnability and beauty showing the might and exquisite tastes of the Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign.
Into the throne room trudged an old crone, bent double by the weight of the many years laid upon her. She wore little beyond an old shawl of brown sackcloth, steadied only by the tall, gnarled cane she gripped with her ancient and bony fingers, the only part of her body visible beneath the thick shawl.
She was the Imperial Wizard, servant of the Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign. She had also been the Imperial Wizard of his predecessor, the Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Ruled with Iron Fist and Velvet Tongue, He Who Possessed the Crown of Stars and Wisdom of Ages, He Who Was More Brilliant and Beautiful than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign.
She had also been his father’s Imperial Wizard, although by this point she’d forgotten his myriad titles and wasn’t sure anyone else remembered either. Glorious and Righteous Emperors tended to either live for five months or fifty years, and she’d had plenty of long-lived ones to deal with.
She’d been Imperial Wizard for a very long time, and to be quite honest she was getting rather sick of it. Centuries of mastering the wisdoms of heaven and earth, only to end up living in a tiny shack in the center of the most opulent gardens in the kingdom and only getting to go for a walk when the latest upstart with a silly beard wanted her to cast a spell.
She had nothing against casting spells, or tiny shacks for that matter. Really, the most annoying part was having nothing to do. She could reverse gravity, for God’s sake! Make it rain gold! Turn entire villages into glass! But instead, she was kept as a glorified lawn ornament until the latest Glorious and Righteous Emperor wanted her to turn the rosebushes purple or some other frippery.
“Oh, Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign, for what purpose doest thou call upon thy Imperial Wizard?” she drawled. Her voice sounded like she’d been gargling gravel for the past twenty years - it had actually only been nineteen, but she rounded up with a little magic. There were few ways to amuse oneself in a tiny shack, so she had simply settled for making her presence deeply unpleasant for anyone who wanted her to visit.
“Oh, yes. Imperial Wizard, your Glorious and Righteous Emperor has need of your magics.” The emperor - the Wizard saw no more reason to keep calling him by his full titles even in her mind, the one space she controlled in absolute - leaned forward on his gigantic throne, which his grandfather had financed by starving the peasants for three years. It was encrusted with foreign jewels and designed so that, when seated properly, the Emperor’s head would be circled by a ring of jewels and an inlaid image of a radiating golden sun. Right now, the Emperor was slouching a bit and leaning against an armrest, so the effect was quite ruined, but it worked quite well with an emperor who was perhaps a bit taller or straighter-backed.
Of course you have need of my magics, you addle-pated twit, that’s all you ever have need of me for. What worthless nonsense is it this time? Rainbow flames? A new indestructible sword? I can realign constellations, you know.
“For the past three months, Imperial Wizard, I have been thinking of fashion. I feel that my robes can no longer express my majesty.”
What, the robes that you’ve switched out ten times in as many weeks?
“I have summoned the finest clothiers and ordered the finest textiles from all corners of the realm, but it would seem none can make anything worthy of me.” Right now, the emperor was wearing a mass of purple silk that the Imperial Wizard was sure used more indigo than the entire Imperial Capital had once held. It was covered in all sorts of brocades and shimmering embellishments, perfectly matching the absurdly ornate crown weighing down the emperor’s royal head.
If you were to ask the Imperial Wizard, she would say that it was a glorious ensemble, worthy of the Glorious and Righteous Emperor. If you were to pry into her head and find her true thoughts, she would say that he looked like a moron.
“I see, oh Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign. Do you desire me to conjure more silks? Stitch together sunbeams? Cut cloth from the night sky? Anything for the Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign.” She’d had the sky-cutting spell for quite some time. The last use of it was about three Glorious and Righteous Emperors and four dozen Perfect and Beauteous Consorts ago. She had picked out a quite lovely sunset for the royal couturiers.
“Imperial Wizard, you wound me. All the fabrics of earth are not fit to clothe my body, and I am greater than all stars of heaven. And yet you would clothe me in their light? No, I desire more. I wish for you to conjure the greatest and most glorious outfit in all the realms, something truly worthy of my splendorous body.”
“Of course, O Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign. It shall be done.”
Internally, the Imperial Wizard was fuming. She was no fashionista, no couturier, no tailor. She wore a sackcloth, for God’s sake! This was why the Royal Palace employed so many people - so they could do all the fancy things and she got to do magic! And now the emperor wanted her to design clothes?
With her fashion sense, he’d be better off wearing nothing at all!
Although…
Now there was an idea.
“I believe I have devised something, Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign. This spell shall clothe you in the grandest and most glorious outfit in all realms, one talked about for centuries hence. It shall be so fine and soft that you may feel as though you are wearing nothing at all, and so great that only the truly great may see it.”
“Huh? That’s no good. I want to be seen by everyone. All of my ministers and servants are fools, and such an outfit would be pointless if I am surrounded by fools.”
I see only one fool, and he’s sitting upon his stupid chair with a silly metal hat, the Imperial Wizard did not say. Saying things that ought not be said was how the last several Imperial Wizards lost their jobs. “Of course, Glorious and Righteous Emperor, He Who Rules Justly and Fairly, He Who Possesses the Sword and Claw of God, He Who is Greater than All Stars of Heaven, Long May He Reign. Then I shall add another enchantment to this great outfit. Not only shall it never get dirty nor tear, as it repels all dust and grime and blades, it shall also repel ignorance. Any who do not understand its beauty shall have that foolishness cleaned away from them in an instant.”
“Ah, perfect. Thank you, Imperial Wizard. Now, if you could get on with it…”
Smiling a wicked smile beneath her sackcloth, the Imperial Wizard let go of her staff and let it balance on its end. Clasping her hands together a beautiful light began to glow. The light show wasn’t necessary, but these Glorious and Righteous Emperor types always liked to see magic being done.
As the light sparked and dissipated, the Imperial Wizard smiled at her work.
The Glorious and Righteous Emperor was still sat upon his throne, but no longer did he wear the silken ensemble. Instead, he now wore nothing at all.
Where once had been a man with a long, careful beard was now sat a naked, tanned woman with not even the slightest bit of body hair to hide her bronzed skin. Her breasts were the size of ripe melons, and her hips wide enough to reach both armrests of her throne. Her hair was a long, pure white, her lips full and moist, her face beautiful in all ways.
The Imperial Wizard had just transformed the Glorious and Righteous Emperor into a naked slut.
Looking down, the Glorious and Righteous Emperor examined themselves. “Excellent work, Imperial Wizard. This outfit truly is magnificent, and does indeed feel as fine and soft as promised. You did wonderfully. Now, return to your atelier until I have need of you once more.”
That was where the real fun of the spell came in. Not only did the emperor not realize what had happened, she was convinced she was now dressed in the perfect outfit instead of simply lounging nakedly on her throne.
Of course, nobody else would see it that way- not at first, at least. If anyone did try to point out that the Glorious and Righteous Emperor was now wandering around naked, the spell would leap to them, and transform them in kind. Soon, the palace would be filled with only naked women and those too scared or too polite to point out the naked women. That would serve as plenty of amusement for the Imperial Wizard in the coming years, she was sure of it.
And just to ensure such a thing, she left a small magic vestige - a spellborne creature she called a Prying Eye, enabling her to keep watch on the goings-on. That was another advantage of the typical light-show - if you make most of your magic really obvious, then it becomes far easier to hide the spells you’d rather people not know about.
And so she headed back to her tiny shack in the royal gardens, wondering who might be the first to see the Empress’s new clothes.
Fri May 16 11:20:11 2025
7 comments Last updated: Sat May 17 03:28:02 2025