When the Imperial Wizard cast her spell upon the Glorious and Righteous Emperor (whose title shall henceforth be shortened as I can no longer be arsed to remember the entire thing), there were two more people in the room.
The doors of the Glorious and Righteous Emperor’s throne room were large enough to require two guardsmen each to open - one on the inside, and one on the out. It was the two inner guards who witnessed the whole situation.
Da Xiao and Xiao Da had remarkably similar lives. Both had grown up youngest of three sons, both had left their homes at the age of fourteen (they shared a birthday), and both had ended up the Inner Guards of the imperial throne room. The only difference, aside from their names, was that Da Xiao was from the east and Xiao Da the west - a fact reflected in their positions. Aside from that, they were as identical as two completely unrelated men could be, and Xiao Da sometimes wondered if the only reason he could tell the two of them apart was because he always knew which one he was.
Of course, Da Xiao would say there were a few more differences in how they carried themselves - mainly, that he was better at holding his tongue. So it was that, when the Imperial Wizard cast her spell and walked away, it was only Xiao Da who spoke.
“Hey, the Emperor’s got no-”
There was no noise. No, perhaps there was negative noise. In less than no time, whatever Xiao Da had been saying was torn from his lips.
His armor, a full suit of burnished black metal, vanished. Before Da Xiao’s eyes, his twin-by-fate began to shift.
After the armor, next to vanish were Xiao Da’s underclothes. Uncolored linen was unspun into nothingness, leaving Xiao Da standing naked as the day he was born, his skin marked with nothing more than the scars and bruises of his military life, until those two were scrubbed away.
Were Da Xiao to comment, he would liken the process to the polishing of armor. Blemishes, dents, and imperfections were all removed as the guardsman’s skin turned to tanned softness.
Of course, it didn’t look quite right, as though Xiao Da’s skin was improperly stretched - at least for the fraction of a non-moment before that too was fixed.
As though Xiao Da was a waterskin, he rippled and shifted, mass flowing from his waist and muscles into his hips, his chest, his legs. Toned legs became thick thighs, the slight fat upon his belly a rail-thin waist, and his breasts ballooned to proportions unseen save in certain rare woodblock prints.
The hair was next. Short-cropped military haircuts were not a thing the magic could abide. Xiao Da’s long-unthought of scalp sprang into overdrive, hair shooting from it in long, pink curls, coiling around and around as they fell down past her neck, then shoulders, then breasts, until eventually tapering off just below her knee.
Lips became full and moist. Brilliant pink eyes were framed by the tiniest amount of eyeliner and eyeshadow.
And then the moment-that-was-not-a-moment passed, and absolutely nothing had changed.
At least, nothing to the eyes of the Glorious and Righteous Emperor, or the eyes of one of her Inner Guards.
Da Xiao had seen everything, however, and was now falling back on his age-old lessons from his mother about holding his tongue.
“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” he asked his fellow Inner Guard.
“Oh, I was just saying how beautiful the Glorious and Righteous Emperor’s new clothes are. I may know little about fashion, but he appears truly radiant! Were it not beyond my station by untold miles, I would like to wear something even a shred as beautiful.”
To Da Xiao, they were dressed the exact same - that was, not at all. Of course, he was a man who had been raised well, and so his eye immediately picked out the ways in which Xiao Da was below the Glorious and Righteous Emperor in appearance. Her hair was not as silken, and her breasts and buttocks were smaller, and less bouncy. Her tan clashed with her pink hair, white being a far more elegant color. Her makeup was not as expertly applied, her areolae smaller -
“What are you looking at?” Xiao Da asked.
Da Xiao thought fast. He knew so far one thing - commenting on the Emperor’s new clothes was not the right thing to do. He had no clue if this extended to his gate guard, so he decided to err on the side of caution.
“...There’s a small blemish on your breastplate.”
“Oh, there is? I can’t see it…”
“Right over your heart,” Da Xiao said. “Trust me.”
“Well, if you say so…” Xiao Da promptly grabbed her sizeable breast and gave it a vigorous rubbing, her face flushing slightly as her other nipple erected.
“There, did I get it?”
“Yes, it’s gone now.” Alright. Xiao Da believes that she and the emperor are wearing clothes, and that nothing is odd. However, she originally saw the truth- at least until she pointed out that the Empress was naked. Upon saying that, she transformed and forgot what she was saying.
I don’t know if she actually sees herself as she once was, or if she just convinces herself that she’s wearing clothes. Either way, her body seemed to respond to that… vigorous rubbing, even if she didn’t notice.
Da Xiao contemplated what to do with this knowledge for a bit, before concluding that such things were beyond a lowly gate guard and he should stick to what he knows best - pushing a giant metal door around, and saying absolutely nothing about whatever the Emperor was up to.
After he reached this conclusion, he heard the unmistakable resounding of the gigantic golden door-knockers on the other side of the door. It seemed the Glorious and Righteous Emperor had a visitor.
A small part of Da Xiao wondered what they would think of her new clothes.
Thu May 29 20:30:46 2025
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