Da Xiao had been watching the latest proceedings with intentionally dispassionate eyes.
After Xiao Da had been transformed by the aftereffects of the Imperial Wizard’s spell, he had resolved to say nothing. However, when the Glorious and Righteous Emperor’s bridal candidates were introduced, several of them had fallen victim to the spell as well, and Da Xiao had realized another potential problem of the Wizard’s trickery.
---
To the Glorious and Righteous Emperor himself, however, there were no problems. Indeed, it seemed as though everything was right in the world - each of the potential brides presented to him by the five major houses were uniquely beautiful.
And so it was that he invited them all to follow him to his chambers, where they might talk privately - and where the Glorious and Righteous Emperor’s “Divine Spear” might find use.
---
If you were to ask Da Xiao a few minutes prior, and he were able to answer honestly, he would have called the transformed women ‘jiggly’. It seemed as though even the slightest of movements sent their softest parts bouncing and swaying, leaving them in constant motion.
His answer had changed after seeing the Empress descend a flight of stairs.
With each step, her breasts leapt in tandem, a slow yet intense hypnotic pattern of ascending and descending flesh, the sounds of slight clapping as skin hit against skin. It was as if she had previously been still as a statue in comparison.
Ladies Lanfeng, Baojin, and Xiangchun all watched with merely the expected adoration of one witnessing the Glorious and Righteous Emperor, for that was all they saw. Lady Qishuang managed to keep her emotionless mask intact, save for the slight crack of the way her eyes moved up and down in time with the bounces of the Empress’s breasts.
Lady Mei, however, could hide nothing. Her whole head followed the gentle path of the Empress’s pendulous mounds, her mouth slightly open as her hands froze at their sides. Blood colored her cheeks.
Still, the Empress herself paid it no mind. She knew her own beauty (or believed she did), and so saw nothing wrong with such a reaction.
“Guards, open the gate. These woman shall be joining me in the Imperial Bedchamber.”
“At once, O Glorious and Righteous Emperor,” Da Xiao and Xiao Da intoned before pulling on the great doors.
Da Xiao contemplated warning the Outer Guardsmen of the situation, then decided against it. It would not do to confuse Xiao Da. Besides, if Nan Bei and Bei Nan spoke out of turn, that was simply their decision.
---
After the Empress and her entourage left the Imperial Throne Room, Da Xiao was left with a conundrum.
He had to go and talk to the Imperial Wizard. He was potentially the only one who could, and the fate of the Empire’s continued existence may indeed be at stake.
Da Xiao was not one to lay undue praise or pressure upon himself. He was a simple man with a simple job - to open and close an inconveniently large metal door.
And yet, he knew that this was important. That he had to do something about it.
He turned to Xiao Da, once his exact duplicate, now six inches shorter with hair the color of cherry blossoms.
“Comrade, I am afraid I must ask a favor of you.”
“What favor might that be?”
“I must step aside for but a brief moment. I assure you, I shall return as soon as possible, but I must leave for now.”
Xiao Da cocked her head. “Is this about what happened after the Imperial Wizard produced the Emperor’s new clothes?”
Da Xiao felt as though he had been struck by lightning. He had thought that everyone’s awareness of the situation had been masked, but was it possible they just didn’t care?
“I-I…”
“I might not know what happened, but I can see it upon your face. Something has drawn your attention.”
Da Xiao felt a part of him relax. “Truly, you know me too well.”
“I know you as well as I know myself, Comrade!” Xiao Da chuckled. Seeing the expression that had once alighted Xiao Da’s face (and by extension, his own) now upon this magical beauty was…
It was something Da Xiao would not yet contemplate. He had a mission.
“Regardless, yes. I feel it important I go do this, now. Shall you ensure I am not missed?”
“I shall miss you, Comrade. But beyond that, of course.”
Another pang of… something struck Da Xiao’s heart. Those words in that voice… truly a dangerous combination.
“I appreciate it more than words can express. I shall not be long.”
As Da Xiao ducked out of the Imperial Throne Room, he spied a glimpse at the Outer Guards, Nan Bei and Bei Nan. He had never bothered to learn which was which - and, judging by the fact that both were now identically tanned and nude, it was possible he never would.
“Halt. Where are you going, Xiao Da?” one of them said, their formerly gruff and scratchy voices now breathy and high-pitched, as though they were a young princess.
“I am Da Xiao, Comrade. And I go to deliver an important message.”
“Then give the message to me, that I might deliver it,” said the other.
“But you are the Outer Guards,” Da Xiao said. “You project to the palace and the world at large the strength of the Emperor. Surely my own departure would be less noticeable?” The Outer Guards were identical not only in appearance, but in temperament. Their egos were easily stroked, Da Xiao had learned - and he relied on that learning to help him escape.
“He raises a good point, Comrade,” one said. “The departure of an Inner Guard versus that of an Outer Guard - surely, we are more important.”
“Indeed. Now, I must be off, so I can quickly return.” It would seem their new appearances had done nothing to fix any of their personality flaws.
---
Soon, Da Xiao had made it through the winding palace to reach where the Imperial Wizard stayed.
Her small atelier was on a hill inside the Imperial Autumn Gardens. The trees were kept in a permanent state of autumn, each leaf alight with reds, oranges, and yellows despite never falling. Each of the Imperial Seasonal Gardens was similar, frozen in perfection by magical means.
The Imperial Wizard’s atelier was built into one of the largest trees, so as not to spoil the aesthetic view (or so Da Xiao assumed. It was not his place to question such things). He had deftly evaded any guards who might stop his path, and now stood in front of the roughly carved door in the large tree.
As he worked up the urge to knock, the door opened on its own.
Despite what Da Xiao had expected, the room was not bigger on the inside - there was barely enough space for a single stool, upon which the Imperial Wizard sat.
“Well?” she asked, not turning towards him. “Did you want something?”
Da Xiao remembered himself. “Ah- yes. I wish to question you about the spell you cast on the Emperor.”
“You do, do you? What about it?”
“I- you-” Da Xiao fumbled for a moment. He had to get this absolutely right, or all hope was lost. “Why… did you choose that style of clothes?”
“What style do you mean?” the Imperial Wizard said. Even though he could not see her face, Da Xiao imagined her wearing a nasty grin.
“You… seemed to have constructed his outfit… such that few could appreciate the finer details. It seemed as though… your choice of outfit was more for your own amusement than the Emperor’s benefit.”
“Oh, it does, does it?”
“Indeed. And now, I… I have reason to believe such a thing could be construed as treasonous.”
At this, the Imperial Wizard finally turned around, facing down the nervous guard.
“You would accuse me of treason, would you?”
“I- Yes. I believe that your choice of outfit… may have made the Emperor… unable to sire an heir.”
The Wizard grinned. It was just as nasty as Da Xiao had imagined. “Oh, I assure you, the Emperor is quite capable of having children.”
“Be-be that as it may… I believe that… he may find it… difficult to find someone… compatible with his needs.” Sweat had been beading on Da Xiao’s head. One misstep in his words would end him, and even if he spoke perfectly, there was still a chance (quite a likely one, based on some of the older tales his mother had told him as a ch1ld) that the Imperial Wizard might end him regardless for his antagonism.
The Wizard, however, just sighed. “Oh, all right. I can see I won’t be trapping you with that spell. You can speak freely about the Empress’s situation now, I’ve temporarily dispelled it from you.”
“If you don’t mind, I will continue speaking as I have.”
The Imperial Wizard let out a screeching laugh. “Oh, you’re a smart one, aren’t you? Fine, I shall answer your questions and concerns.”
“I still don’t understand why you did what you did to the Emperor,” Da Xiao said. “Regardless of your aim in… constructing such an outfit, why would you make it so none can notice the finer details, or speak of them plainly?”
“Put simply? It seemed humorous. And I was bored.”
“B-bored?”
“In generations past, I have cut cloth from the night sky. Raised and flattened mountain ranges. Constructed gardens frozen in time, summoned rainstorms of the finest liquor, held lightning in my hand - and yet, the current Empress barely requests my services. After she summoned me for such a simple thing as designing an outfit, I decided to enjoy myself. It was not a joke for anyone else - merely my own amusement.”
“And yet, this ‘amusement’ may have doomed the Empire. In his current state, it is unlikely that the Emperor will be able to produce an heir.”
“True enough,” the Imperial Wizard said. “A traditional avenue does still lay open to her, even though she would not realize it. So, you would have me work more magic to fix the problem?”
“I would not order you,” Da Xiao said. “Though I believe the simplest option would be to undo your magical machinations, I doubt you would do so.”
“Ah, you’re learning! No, I see no reason to spoil the fun like that. To add another rule to this little game, however, might be quite a good idea. Now, let’s see…”
Before Da Xiao’s eyes, a vision of the Imperial Bedchamber appeared between him and the Imperial Wizard. “This is a conjured image by a spell I call a Prying Eye. I see no reason to let all the fun happen where I cannot see, after all. Now, let us see how we might go about ensuring the continuation of the lineage…”
Mon Aug 25 20:39:52 2025
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