Suddenly, in Fitzgerald's outer office, there appeared a stocky, almost round, little man, of slightly less than medium height. His slightly receeding hair was silvery, he wore a pair of steel-rimmed spectacles, although he didn't seem to need them, his suit showed the evidence of the most stylish Saville Row tailoring. He also wore an overcoat and black leather gloves. If he had been taller, he would've given off more of an element of menace. When his suit jacket flapped open, Fitzgerald could see the butt of a pistol protruding from a shoulder holster. When the man spoke, his accent was British:
"Not so fast!"
Wood turned to stare at the man who had just appeared. Fitzgerald suddenly felt ridiculous, not to mention outclassed, standing there in his bathrobe. he cleared his throat. "It's considered a serious breach of form, sir, to port directly into a suite. Actually, you shouldn't have been able to do it at all." He looked the man up and down. "Who are you anyway?"
"I am known as The Equalizer. My son's idea, I'm afraid. He was the one who placed those stupid advertisements in the papers." Now that the man had mentioned it, he DID look remarkably like the actor Edward Woodward. By this time, Elijah Wood had gotten bored and had opened Fitzgerald's inner office door to take a peek. In Fitzgerald's inner office, a huge sofa had been made-down into a king-size bed. Elijah's eyes popped when he saw Anna Ohura and Mirei Kuroda naked on the bed, clutching sheets about themselves, staring back at him wide-eyed. Both women began to giggle. Fitzgerald reached over and pulled the door shut.
By this time,a slip of paper had appeared on the secretary's desk. Fitzgerald walked over and read it. He scowled.
Fitzgerald looked over at the man in the suit. "I didn't know you swung that way, McCall. Welcome to the BE Addventure. If that really IS you, and not just another Author using a new pseudonym. Oh, and if you're going to write Elijah here into a gay porn scene, I DON'T want to know about it. Come to think of it, I don't think most people on the site woould, either."
Fitzgerald briefly considered punishing the new interloper by writing HIM into a sex scene with Elijah Wood, but then he realized it would seem more like a punishment for Wood than for the new man. Fitzgerald snapped his fingers, and the new Author froze into immobility.
"On the other hand, your default option doesn't specify which gender Elijah will be having sex with." Fitzgerald turned to Elijah again. "Would you like to have sex with a man or a woman?"
"Woman, please," Wood said timidly.
"Any preference?"
Wood paused for a brief moment. "S-Soleil Moon Frye?" he said hesitantly. "I feel like I should know her somehow."
Fitzgerald coughed nervously. "Well, that's, er, understandable."
Sat Aug 31 06:58:48 2002