"I need to tell you something, Rick," said Joanne.
"Yes, love?" he replied.
"I'm really Jim. There was this magic ring...."
Rick suddenly looked disappointed.
"Rock," said Joanne, "does that mean you don't love me?"
"What are you talking about? Jo, that's even worse than the last time we broke up. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to believe it and when you tell me a story like that it really means 'stop asking'..."
"No! You are supposed to believe it! Tell me something only Jim would know."
"Jim who?"
"Jim, your friend?"
"Ohh... yeah..." Rick scratched his head and seemed to have trouble thinking. "I remember, Jim. Uhh, give me my old computer password."
"You never had one, Rick."
"Lucky guess, Joanne. Tell me, how did I meet Jim?"
"We were k1ds and I found a quarter you lost in the sandbox."
"I'm beginning to think you're Jim," said Rick.
"I am Jim! I... wait a minute. I know how to prove it. You have an old picture of Joanne, right? Like a picture of me?"
"Yeah," said Rick.
"Show it to me."
"It was over there by... Wait, that's wrong." Rick picked up the picture. It should have shown Joanne, but it didn't. It showed Jim... in exactly the same situation Joanne had been when the picture was taken. Jim looked very strange in the picture with his arm around Rick. "What in the world? That's Jim! This is impossible!"
"No," said Joanne, "I'm Jim. I used a magic cock ring. If I put it on and look at a picture, I turn into the picture and it turns into me. Now tell me how else you explain it."
"I don't know..." said Rick. "You're really Jim? I just made love to Jim? You should change back!"
"I can't," said Joanne. "The ring just fell to pieces and went down the drain. I was supposed to change back as soon as the ring comes out, but I didn't."
"Why would... Oh, no. Rick, where in Joanne's cycle was she when you got that picture taken? It wasn't her period, was it?"
"No, it wasn't. Why would you want to know something like that, anyway?"
"Good," said Joanne. "If she wasn't having her period, she couldn't get pregnant. I was worried that the reason I didn't change back was that I was pregnant and changing back would hurt the baby."
"I can believe you're Jim," said Rick. "Because you don't know about things like that. A woman wouldn't get pregnant while she's having her period. Ovulation happens two weeks before her period."
"So the reason I didn't change back might be that I am pregnant?"
"Considering all you're telling me, it's quite possible. Do you even want to change back?"
"No I don't!" said Joanne. "I love you..."
"No you don't," said Rick. "If you're yourself, if you're Jim, you wouldn't just sleep with me. The spell must be making you think like Joanne."
"But Rick..."
"Jo, it wouldn't be fair to you. When you change back, you'll regret it. And I'm already regretting it."
"I don't want to change back, Rick."
"If the pregnancy is stopping you from changing back, you might change back once you're no longer pregnant. Besides, we can't be 'in love' when you're not in your right mind. It's not fair! I'd be taking advantage of your mental state by doing something with you I know you wouldn't normally do!"
"Ahh, you're just saying that because now that you know I'm Jim you don't like me."
"Look at yourself, Jo... Jim. You have an identity, you know. As Jim. Is Jim just going to disappear?"
"I have a hunch about that."
"What?"
Jo took out her cell phone and called up Sharon.
"Hi, Sharon," she said. "It's me... Just wanted to wish you happy birthday today."
"Oh, Jo. Thanks, and thanks for the card..."
After a little chatting, Jo hung up and she explained. "I had to remind you who Jim was. Before that you forgot. Then there's this phone. It has my name on it, only the name now says Jo. Sharon thinks I'm Jo too. And I don't think this means the old Joanne, because it's still my phone. The way I figure it, everyone thinks I was always Jo unless I actually walk up to them and tell them. I can stay this way as long as I want."
"You mean there's two Joannes running around, my old girlfriend and you?"
"No. My name is just Jo. That's what was on the phone. You happened to call me that as short for Joanne, but it's also a name by itself. I'm a different girl named Jo, who just happens to look like Joanne and who just happens to have a similar name and who just happens to love you like Joanne did, but I'm not Joanne.
"Then why don't I remember a Jo?"
"Probably because in this new reality, you never met Jo until now. Rick, there's nothing wrong. I can stay this way as long as I want, if I don't turn back."
Fri Apr 27 20:26:54 2007