Now Sharon's really messed up...

Unending BE - episode 125336

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Certainly not Deja Voodoo, who through Jim and Uncle Sid created the thing. But he had no need to predict it, because it didn't. While from Sharon's point of view, the semen had appeared to shoot from the top of the remote, it actually shot over the top of the remote -- as she almost immediately realized, one of the men surrounding the naked, mammarily-enhanced girl was jacking off, and had just ejaculated.

"Ewww, gross!" cried Sharon, as her fingers accidentally brushed the TM key. Time stopped for everyone but her, giving her the opportunity to figure out just what the hell was going on. Wiping herself off as best she could with her free hand, she examined the remote with the other. "I wonder if there's an informational feature?" she mused. "Hmmm, 'IF' -- that could be it. But so could 'MN' -- that might mean 'menu.' Maybe I should press both..."

What an inspiration! She did, and immediately all the information that was in the Menu was instilled into her brain, letting her know what every button did and clearing up all her confusion. Or most of it, anyway. "I don't understand," she said. "It seems to me that when I hit ^C, pointing the remote at myself, whatever part of me it was pointing to should have been copied, and when I hit ^P, pointing the thing at my breasts, whatever that was should have been duplicated there. But nothing happened -- I thought something did, but it was just that frozen jerk over there jerking off. Let's see... I hit RD for Redo between those two commands, but that just reimplements an undone command -- and I hadn't undone any, so that shouldn't have affected ^P. Wait! I know!"

Sharon hit CO to issue a voice command, and said "I now know what went wrong." Hitting DN to execute the command, she found that she did know. In its passage from the reality in which it had originated, the remote had been damaged, and the functions of the RD (redo) and UN (undo) buttons had been reversed. So her ^C command had been undone, leaving her ^P command nothing to duplicate. And a good thing, too! She now knew that what she had copied had been her vagina, and she certainly didn't want a second vagina between her breasts! With another voice command, Sharon fixed the remote, restoring the original functions of the damaged buttons.

(Boy! So much exposition just to explain away the actions of an episode author who didn't read the documentation! Now let's move this story forward again...)

Now Sharon had a wicked idea. She was still mad at the jerk-off jerk, so she pointed the remote at him and pressed 'DT' and '-', deleting the poor bastard's penis. Then she copied her vagina again, pasted it on him where the vanished organ had been, and deleted his clothes. "That ought to do it," she said. And with another voice command, she wished herself and Jim back home, away from all of this, and restarted time again.

  1. Jim, coming around, said "Huh? What happened? How did we get here?" Sharon grinned, and told him about her new toy...
  2. Jim, coming around, said "Huh? What happened? How did we get here?" Sharon, still irritated at him for eating her out in public, shushed him by deleting his mouth. "Time for your punshiment, Jim boy," she told him, ominously...
  3. *We can follow up on Sharon and Jim another time. Right now, let's see what happens to the emasculated jerk...
  4. Sharon hit MC and SG, to mind-control Jim and suggest that he forget all about what had happened, and about the remote. "And now," she said, "since I'm all hot and bothered and you're such an eager beaver, you can eat my beaver, Jimmy-boy..."
  5. Jim immediately started bothering Sharon with questions, so she pointed the remote at him and hit the "down" side of IQ several times, until he was too stupid to know what to ask.
  6. Eager to explore the possibilities of the remote, Sharon decided to practice on Jim...
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Deja Voodoo

Fri Feb 2 13:21:09 2001

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