"Good afternoon, Mr. Bell. Welcome to Winck University. I'm Dr. Patterson, I'm the president here. Please have a seat."
"Thank you," replied the 18-year-old freshman. He looked around the nicely furnished office. "Where's everyone else?"
Dr. Patterson chuckled lightly, as she came around the desk and sat on its ledge, looking through a manila folder. "It's just a formality, to speak of Ruud scholarship candidates in the plural. Fact is, you're our first and only."
He was perplexed. "Candidate?"
"Better. You're the world's first Ruud scholar. Congatulations." She shook her head as she read. "Evangelistus Zephyrinus Bell. That's quite a large handle you've got there."
"Everyone calls me EZ."
"I'm glad to hear that. EZ, why did you pick Winck?"
EZ wondered if it was a serious question. Why did any young man apply to Winck, even in the full expectation that he would get turned down? Once upon a time, it had been a notorious hideaway for lesbians. The young women of Winck tended to be of a special type: blessed with the hottest bods to be found on any campus, yet frightened and wary in all matters of male-female relations, preferring to cling possessively to each other in maudlin solidarity. Now that Winck was, after years of tearful protesting, shifting to coed, many a high school lad had figured that a chance to penetrate the legendary holy of holies was worth the longshot of an application.
Plus, the Ruud scholarship had been an even longer shot. EZ never seriously believed this would all be happening to him.
Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Thu Dec 18 09:46:39 2003