"Tell you what," You Wish told Shawna. "How about I just write you all-powerful without changing you and then we have that big old knock-down drag-out fight like I said, that wouldn't be nice, would it?"
"No," said Shawna. "Now that I think about it, that would be murder, whether you fix me up or not. Since you're writing this, you'd make yourself win."
"Well, naturally," You Wish grinned. Then he saw Shawna wasn’t grinning. "No go?" he asked.
"Not if I have anything to say about it."
You Wish brightened again. "But since I'm writing this, you don't!"
That was a stumper. But-- "I could be writing the next one," Shawna said slyly. "That's assuming you're right and there is still a real me out there. Then where would you be?"
"Up shit creek," You Wish admitted. The curl of smoke forming his lower body materialized a foot, which he stamped.
"How's this then?" Shawna asked. "You admit me and get me the classes I want and then amscray, and leave some other Author or other to continue humiliating me. That way I still suffer so you still have your revenge, but you're off the hook."
"Hmm, there may be something to that," said You Wish suspiciously. "Though if I did that I'd have to give up my teaching assignment."
"You teach here?" asked Shawna, surprised.
"Sure, got to have a few hobbies when I'm not avataring, and this is one of those traveling venues that moves from one thread to another, kind of like Spells 'R' Us and places like that, so it's interesting. And life Backstage where all the other Avatars hang out is so dull these days, except of course when that big conspiracy got uncovered and all us avatars found out what we really were and it turned out I was--"
"Yes?" asked Shawna, when it looked like he wasn't going to go on.
"Never mind! Okay, you're on. There are other places I can teach besides Unseen University, I guess."
"This is Unseen University? Like, the Discworld one?"
"No, like the this world one. Hey, it's a magic college, only those interested in magic can see it, I'd say that makes it unseen, wouldn't you?"
"I guess."
"Right then. Here we go." The big ledger floated off the desk and into You Wish's hands. He held it out to Shawna, along with a big-feathered quill pen. "Sign here. That's right. Okay, you're in. Here's the class list. I'd take the one in Self-Control if I were you, that sort of thing's really big in magical circles, and it will help you tame that raging libido of yours. That way you could really suffer the next time you get screwed. And you might want to go with Transfiguration if you want to get out of that fucking bunny suit, and Transgenderation if you want to drop the bimbo gig. Don't know what you can do about the extra breasts, assuming you want to do anything about them. Most students in this Addventure want to know how to get more of them or bigger ones, not fewer or smaller."
"If I get to be a guy again, wouldn't that take care of itself?"
"Not necessarily. And even if it did, you could still be stuck with extra nipples. Listen, just check the classes you want and you're in them, dig? I've got to get going, we’re about two episodes past the thousand already now, and I’ve got another gig."
"All right," said Shawna, but You Wish had already gone poof. What a relief, she thought, and what a maroon! She was glad she had gotten off so easy. Little did she realize that the now-vanished You Wish had made good on his threat to make her All-Powerful again. Not that she would know that for a while, but it bade fair to make her Addventure more shall we say interesting in the long run.
In the short run, though, there were those classes.
Shawna looked at the big ledger. "Let's see now," she said. "What should I take?"
Wed Dec 08 22:58:01 2004
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