"Huh?" Jim asked.
"I'm an Elbonian princess!" Sharon said with joy.
"Are we talking about that really poor country covered in mud from the Dilbert cartoons?" Jim asked.
"What are you talking about?" Sharon asked.
Jim suddenly felt like he did the one time when he was 12 and he came home to find all of his bedroom furniture had been replaced. "Sorry, I have to see something." Jim said, leaving the bathtub. Sharon followed him out.
Jim pulled a world atlas off the bookshelf and looked up Elbonia. Sure enough, it was there. Latvia and Lithuania were much smaller than they should have been, and there was a territory labeled 'ELBONIA'.
"What were you expecting to see?" Sharon asked.
"Elbonia shouldn't exist!" Jim said. He ran to the computer and got on the internet. He looked up 'ELBONIA' in the CIA's tourist information pages.
"Elbonia is a developing country in Eastern Europe characterized by its extremely muddy terrain. Most areas are covered in about three feet of mud, and the people are accustomed to wading through it as they go about their daily lives."
"I'll be damned," Jim said. He looked for the Dilbert website, and it didn't seem to exist. "I'm in a parallel universe... I think." Sharon was still naked and standing around the bathroom door.
"You still look like my boyfriend. Wanna come back to the tub, or shall we try out the tanks?" Sharon asked.
"What tanks?" Jim asked.
"These ones." Sharon took Jim to her bedroom, and pointed at two large tanks lying horizontally along the wall. "You stole them and stashed them here."
"You mean the other me stole them. What are they?" Jim asked.
"You found an unmarked truck crashed off the road last night and the driver was dead. He had a military ID card and in the back of the truck were a bunch of these tank things. You said they were for genetically altering soldiers," Sharon explained.
"Ooh." Jim said. "Sounds like fun."
"Since my parents are coming tomorrow, I wanted to have one last night in case I never see you again," Sharon said.
Jim flipped a switch on the side of the tanks. "How did I haul these?" Jim asked. A screen on the side of the tank clicked on.
"You were borrowing your cousin's pickup, I think," Sharon replied.
"All right, let's take a look," Jim mumbled. The interface was user-friendly. First he set the other tank to operate through the same console. After that, he read the help file which basically told him that just about any modification was possible. "Physically, what would you like about yourself improved?" Jim asked.
"Well... I've kinda wanted to be more flexible," Sharon replied.
"All right." That was an interesting choice. He decided to do the same thing to himself for simplicity. Jim, of course, wanted Sharon to have larger breasts, so he worked that in to her profile as he began defining the alterations. The muscles and tendons and such would have to be more stretchy. What the hell, he thought, they might as well be made as strong as possible. After seeing how strong they could be, he thought it might be interesting to do away with the bones and replace them with the same kind of muscle. Interestingly, a warning window popped up saying 'Warning: Subjects to be converted to boneless physiology. Organs will have to be optimized. Do this automatically?' Jim clicked 'Yes,' and waited for the thing to process.
"How long is it going to take?" Sharon asked.
"I'm almost done setting it up," Jim said. He topped it off with making sure the skin was as stretchy as everything else and then clicked "Done," and the final profiles were compiled in a few minutes. "All right, it's ready. Looks like it will take six hours, but we'll be unconscious for that. Ready?"
Sharon nodded. Jim opened the lids of the tanks and helped Sharon in. He adjusted the breathing mask to fit snugly on her face. "Looks like the 'go' button is inside. Push it when you're ready," Jim said. After a couple seconds he heard a beep and the tank filled with liquid from a reservoir underneath. Jim got himself into the other tank, put on his mask, and set it to go. At some point an anesthetic kicked in, and so he was unconscious until he woke up six hours later.
He climbed out of his tank. Before he could test the alterations to himself he heard banging from the other tank. Sharon's mask was stuck and she needed help getting it off. After the mask was taken care of, Jim helped Sharon get out of the tank. As she got out, she tripped on the edge of the tank and fell into a most awkward position. Her right leg, the one that came out of the tank first, was folded backwards at the knee and somewhat normally at the hip, with the rest of Sharon's body on top. The lid had slammed on her left leg at the ankle, pinning it.
"Shit!" Sharon gasped.
"Are you hurt?" Jim asked.
"No, but help me get up. I didn't expect to be THIS flexible," Sharon said. Sharon turned over and got her right leg into a normal position, but her left leg was twisted 180 degrees as it was still caught in the tank. She pulled and saw her leg stretch about a foot in length as she tried to free her foot. Jim quickly opened the tank lid and her leg snapped back to normal, almost like a rubber band. "Okay..." She took a deep breath. "You did the same thing to yourself?" Jim nodded. She brushed him with her breast, which was all it took to get him back in the mood. He opened his mouth impossibly wide and fit the whole D-cup sized breast into his mouth. After that she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him to the bed.
Wed Mar 17 15:14:49 2004